I need some help....I don't understand (page 2)

forsharry

She's at a loss and feeling the pain of being shunned...

My only advice is this..."Friends are the family you make for yourself." - Anonymous

I know that sounds really general and it glosses over a lot of the nuances of being shunned...but this isn't her problem. It's her family's problem. Does it hurt? God yes, it hurts...but it's all about building a support system that doesn't rely upon conditions for it to function. I now have friends and 'family' in my life that love me unconditionally, and that won't change (well not unless I destroy one of their garden gnomes or something...)

I've been on the receiving end of the shunning stick...and once I started reaching out to others and building a network for myself that was free from conditionality, that was when the pain lessened a little...do I miss them? Yeah...but would I be willing to sacrifice my own personal beliefs and code to regain their 'conditional' love? No way!

Not sure if that helps at all or if I just typed a pile of nonsense. I do that from time to time. Best of luck to ya...just be there for her. That's all any of us can do with one another.

kwr

Well if she is happy to be out of the religion then don't worry about it. Just because a family doesn't talk to each other doesn't mean anything as long as she doesn't want to go back to the JW's. The problem will occur if she goes back to the JW's and gives you an ultimatuim JW's or else. I avoid personal associations with JW's for this reason because the social pressure by the family to return to the group is so strong that many times this causes problems in relationships.

I shared an apt with a JW that was disfellowshipped from the JW's and then he returned to the flock and all hell broke loose about not associating with non-JW's, then he let his JW friend sleep on the couch and others were coming in and out of the apt with a copy of the key he gave them. I moved out after 30 days. Today he is serving a fifty year prison sentence, so karma always comes back to haunt you!

What-A-Coincidence

dude. she is the one who needs to logon!!!

FreedomFrog

dude. she is the one who needs to logon!!!

Hi guys...ummmm, I am the one he's talking about...lol. I was just explaining to him why I don't have my parents..So yeah, as you all know I have been on for quite some time.

FreedomFrog

Oh, btw, can anyone send the link that at on time was Quotes before all that legal thing happened...I think this would be a good place for Confusedcatholic8 to get a good understanding. I'm still trying to find my CoC so he can read more on what goes on behind the scenes. From the outside, people see JW's as just another religion but as we all know, this isn't true.

~Froggie~

Beer Connoisseur

You will find some useful information on the website below.

http://www.freeminds.org

The Watchtower is a unique religion in that it claims to be Christian, yet fails to give its members the freedom that true Christianity offers. Mind Control, Man Made Doctrine, Emotional and Theocratic Voodoo, and Bad Doctrine, are among the few things its members are affected by. They are truly a social cult as well as a religious one. It has been said "Its easier to keep someone out of a cult, than to get them out" Once a person has been in the Watchtower Religion for a length of time, it is difficult to reach them, the Watchtower condemns free thinkers!

Enjoy a good Lindemans Framboise,

BC

jgnat

Ah, confusedCatholic8, you've found a delightful woman, who has worked through much of her pain.

but she is at a loss of losing family and friends that are apart of this religion

Yes, that is the terrible price an ex-Witness pays for leaving. If she is sad, hold her tight and comfort her. Build around for yourselves new family and friends. That is the best I can offer you. Here's one of the sites that hosts the old Quotes information:

http://www.reexamine.org/quotes/

confusedCatholic8

I want to thank all that have responded to my post.....We (my G/F and I) are working through this hard time....I have another question.... Why do JW's beleive that there are conditions to love...I thought love was unconditional...How can you love someone and view them as Dead? When they are still in there bodily form living

I need some help....I don't understand

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