Could do with a little help (page 2)

mouthy

See how one ends a thread???? dont let it stop you from posting.....".More things are wrought by prayer that this world dreams"....some poet said that cant remember who LOL

fifi40

Thanks for all the thoughts and prayers

Didnt come on line yesterday as I was upset and having deep discussions with hubby and we my sister was over to support me and a few friends.

I have expalined in a few PMs To various of you that it was a drink related problem on Friday. Basically my hubby and I have a very happy marriage, but very occassionally hubby goes on a bender and does not have a cut off point when it comes to alcohol and then sometimes things get ugly. He only drinks very rarely but being a Scot he thinks he can drink for Scotland when he does. Needless to say Friday was the most spectacularly ugly and horrible night and I had had enough. I had left him in the pub at ten, despite asking him to come home and then things got out of control. I cant go into all the details because they were horrific and awful, but it invovled other friends.

Anyway we are working at fixing things now, he wants to become tea total, so its fingers crossed. I will keep you posted.

Thanks for all your thoughts

Fi

mouthy

Thanks for your p.m ((((HUGS))))

Crumpet

It can be awfully destructive in a relatioship when one person drinks heavily and becomes a person you don't know or love even if it is only every now and then - it can be very unsettling. You sound like you have some good family and friends around to support you both, however if those friends are part of the drinking culture- even though they mean well it can also be harmful. It sounds like your husband is showing willing though and considers the problem serious enough to want to stop altogether. He must value you a great deal.

greendawn

I hope it works out for you well and you come to a reconciliation since divorce can be so stressful for both, why doesn't he just drink alcohol within the right limits to avoid creating such dangerous tensions?

fifi40

Crumpet - You are so right with the friends thing, drinking too much. When I first met Phil I didnt drink, then I tried to keep up with him and his friends, then I thought this is ridiculous and is not making me happy, so now I am very moderate drink. We dont ever drink at home but at social gatherings drink is HUGE on the agenda and that is when the problems arise. It is sad the states and problems that are encounted through to much alcohol. Friday night was another example of this, and the events were pretty horrific and enough I think even to make Phil realise the dangers of excess.

Greendawn - Thanks and I wish he could. I dont understand it either but he does not have a cut off point where he thinks I have had enough. He can just keep going, and the more he drinks the more obnoxious he becomes about it and when you mix this with one or two other people who are the same, it can lead straight to hell. He feels he has to go tea total. He must therefore feel that it is an area he does not have control over and when you dont feel like that it is very difficult to understand. Your wife pointing out that you have had enough and it is time for home, probably doesnt help, but I dont want the aftermath. So he either gives up completely or learns to listen to nagbag wife and respect her judgement, thus avoiding the horrendous complications that can follow.

Sad Emo- Thanks for your PMs and I know. I wont be unhappy in my life. x

jillbedford

This is a great forum for talking things out. Sounds like we both have had a tough weekend.

I sincerely hope you can work things out. It sounds like it is completely possible. The tea total plan sounds best. When a person can not stop drinking when they start, it leads to bad, bad, bad problems. And he certainly would not be the first person to have trouble with moderation with alcohol. It seems we all know someone close to us who has their struggles with alcohol.

SPAZnik

(((fifi40)))

Could do with a little help

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