Comments You Will Not Hear at the 3-25-07 WT Study (Husband Headship)

by blondie 31 Replies latest watchtower bible

• 

  found-my-way

  that article reminded me of what it was like for me growing up

  my dad's favourite bellowing rave was this: ''I'M THE HEAD OF THIS HOUSE!'' I dont remember why he used to yell at us so much, my mother was the meekest of all JW wives...she never once stood up for herself against him. It wasnt until about 3 years ago that she put his clothes out in garbage bags on the front porch (while he was out screwing yet another woman) and changed the locks.

  I always argued with my mom about the society's counsel about headship, I told her, it makes men like dad take it to the enth degree. They view it as total permission to do as they please to their families...they dont see the parts about not to be abusive, they only see DOMINATION is OK. She would always say, well that's the counsel from the society, so it comes from Jehovah, I am being obedient to Jehovah.

  glad she woke up and stood up for herself, it only took her 35 years to do that...
• 

  BluesBrother

  Patronizing is the word that comes first to mind . I am sure there will be "interesting discussions" in a good many dub houses today....

  "husband may need to point out in a kind manner why some adjustment is needed if her dress or use of jewelry or cosmetics begins to stray from the modest pattern recommended in the Scriptures"

  Oh boy! I would like to see some them try it... Anyway why should it be assumed that He has better judgement than Her? most of the wives I have known pay lip service to the idea of headship. If they dont want to do something then they say "My husband may not like me doing that" but if they chose to it, they do it anyway.

  "assigning them honor as to a weaker vessel,"

  A C/O I knew once pointed the words "as to" , therefore not that she was weaker but husband should treat her with respect , as if she was weaker.

  The WTS makes too much of all this counsel ... When the Bible was written women may not have expected to be educated and it was the norm for husbands to treat them as property . The Western world has caught up and overtaken the Bible stance. It seems unnecessary today.

  BTW Blondie...One gets the impression that home violence is a point of concern to you. You say:

  Of course, if the man beats the crap out of her that is good in God’s eyes.

  In my experience, it was NOT tolerated. May I tell the story of a "brother" I will call Fred in the South of England . He had a wife not in the truth who used to give him a really hard time with verbal abuse and insults . He was built like an ox and was stronger than anyone we knew. During the rows he 'lost it and lashed out, harming her. The second time it happened , despite his remorse, he was disfellowshipped . I am not saying that the elders did not feel some sympathy for him, but they did what they had to do.
• 

  Mary

  Blondie said: The WTS has a tendency to talk about of both sides of their mouth by saying women qualified to rule in heaven but then should be quiet and meek while on earth all having the same abilities.

  Bingo. I'd love to know when the all-male Governing Body have ever asked for the input of an 'annointed' sister. If they're all going to be ruling in heaven together, then why is she not consulted now regarding congregational matters? The purpose of Craptower studies like this is so that the Borg can have an 'official' stand: husbands must love their wives, treat them honourably etc. yet the reality can be quite different. How many sisters endure decades of physical abuse at the hands of their husbands because the Organization's unofficial line is: 'Cover up those bruises and keep on smiling' ?

  Thanks for the summary Blondie. Excellent job as usual.
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  carla

  As a non jw I find the jw view of headship easy to refute. I don't consider jw's Christians and feel the entire subject was written to Christians therefore it does not apply to my jw or me as he is not a Christian. Not that it will matter much with next weeks article about wives, I suppose I will be the evil wife for a time, then it will my kids turn to be the evil ones for not being in total submission to him and the whims of the wt. Luckily jw's have a short attention span and are so prolific in the rags, their attention will be turned to whatever the next rag has to say.
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  blondie

  Thanks for your comments everyone. For those who missed my life's story, I come from a family of abuse, an abusive non-JW father and an abusive JW mother; verbal, emotional, physical and sexual. And when all this was observed (except the sexual), we were told to endure it as good little JWs, perhaps we might convert someone who observed our endurance (vomit).

  For every case where an abusive JW husband was "disciplined" there were ten others who were not. You can bet if the non-JW was the one that was abused by the JW that it made the neighborhood news and had to be dealt with. But if the JW went to the "brothers" and kept it quiet, they would be told to endure. After all in the case of a JW woman, if she left her husband it would bring shame on the JW community and be a "bad witness" and who would financially support her and the children (not the congregation for sure) and they would be sanctioned by the "elders" if they went to any non-JW resources and it got to be known that JWs were not the perfect "Christians" they claim to be. My husband gave some "bible-based counsel" to a sister who left her JW husband because of his verbal, emotional, and spiritual abuse of her and their children. None of the children wanted to stay with the father and confirmed the mother's accounts. He told her she was doing the right thing, protecting herself and her family and that her husband was not following bible counsel. What happened? Both my husband and this family were told they were wrong to leave the father/husband and that my husband had given them unscriptural advice. The sister and the children listened to what my husband had said but my husband had the elders on his back for the next six months...it seems that the husband was their good buddy and now people were wondering why his family left...they didn't want to discipline him.

  So in the end, advertise, advertise, advertise the abuse to the non-JW community and finally the elders might do something to protect the wife and children.

  Blondie
• 

  nvrgnbk

  I on the Watchtower!
• 

  anewme

  Thankyou Blondie.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Why are the meetings at the Kingdom Hall always so harsh and uncomfortable and guilt ridden with finger pointing and correction! Jeeesh!!!
  
  
  You go to church with your family to feel better, to be refreshed, not to have the husband or wife pouting afterwards and the teenagers rolling their eyes and wanting to puke at the hypocrisy of their lives!
  
  This is what ate at me. The constant digs and jibes and non stop correction of adults and families.
  Good grief! Where are the love talks? The Sunday meetings encouraging love for neighbor or how to show love to your wife or husband? How To Reach Your Teenager's Heart?
  
  How about a musical Sunday meeting? Never. Ever.
  
  35 years I attended every Sunday meeting and it was just more of the same mean monotony.
  
  I resented it very much.
  
  
  Again, thanks Blondie. Your reviews put me right back in the little Kingdom Hall seats! Ahhhhhh!!!!!!!
• 

  SirNose586

  I get what you're saying Gill. I guess my take on the situation is that today's young are the future of the org.
  

  and none of them are buying this crap anymore.

  The only way to keep them in is have a more tolerant congregation than others. Last night I was out with some JW kids from a congregation far from mine. I remarked to one of the lads I knew better than the others that if any elders from MY hall were here, they'd have JCs planned for all of them. Out of about 9-12 young people, two were obviously "going steady," a few more were playing around in a way that'd get them suspected of homosexuality, and the rest were dressed in the height of socal skater fashion.

  The lad told me that since all these kids were from the previous generation of fringe JW teens, it was generally acknowledged that having them associate with other JW kids, no matter how unexemplary they were, was better than associating with "the world."

  In my hall the young men are being hunted down. About a year ago, there were 10 young men in the hall, including myself. One shows up to meetings occasionally, and has had many upstairs meetings, but not yet demoted. Three of his close friends have all been stricken of their publisher status, the "non-baptismal df'ing," and rarely make the meetings anymore. As for two fleshly brothers, one has been demoted and the other is on restriction often. There's a good friend of mine who is lectured for being close friends with a girl (though it is platonic), and won't be promoted to MS status, even though he wants to get it. That leaves myself, the only MS under 40 in the hall, my close friend who is given privileges (but very slowly, and is cowed into submission from memories of an upstairs room encounter), and a kid who was homeschooled and has pioneered since age 8.

  It's like playing Survivor. Who will be next to be marked?
• 

  Gill

  The young are certainly being 'hunted down' as you put it by overly suspicious elders and parents.

  At the family do we were at the other night, the young 14 year JW obviously wanted to chat with my 14 year old boys. Every time he came into the same room as we were in, his father or mother came in after him and took him back into the 'JW' room where they were discussing plumbing and lighting at the new KH ALL evening.

  My lads are wonderful lads and very well behaved BUT we no longer, for five years now attend meetings. The boy cannot talk to my boys. How sad and totally pathetic! Their children were not allowed to say goodbye to us non dubs and they only said goodbye to the dubs.

  I hate the Wacktower association. It has made total fools of my extended family.

  I hope the children do get to escape the Wacktower one day, but I feel there really is NO hope for their foolish, mind controlled parents.

  We have decided now that it is time to cut these sad people from our lives. What a decision to have to make!
• 

  SirNose586

  At the family do we were at the other night, the young 14 year JW obviously wanted to chat with my 14 year old boys. Every time he came into the same room as we were in, his father or mother came in after him and took him back into the 'JW' room where they were discussing plumbing and lighting at the new KH ALL evening.

  My lads are wonderful lads and very well behaved BUT we no longer, for five years now attend meetings. The boy cannot talk to my boys. How sad and totally pathetic! Their children were not allowed to say goodbye to us non dubs and they only said goodbye to the dubs.

  I hate the Wacktower association. It has made total fools of my extended family.

  Hopefully the JW kid realizes what's going on, and takes his leave of the religion.