You have had 3 Bad Relationships in a row.......your next one

by new boy 30 Replies latest social relationships

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  What-A-Coincidence

  I AGREE WITH xena warrior princess
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  knock knock

  Never make love to a woman that has more mental problems than you have

  You said it! Though I might add financial problems to that list also.
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  prophecor

  A co-worker expressed it to me this way. He'd spent ten years going to school, learning what works and what doesn't. After jettisoning what was not to his advantage, he, overtime began to recognise what works and what to look out for regarding trouble, long before it appears. I've learned to try to steer clear of chronically needy people. It requires you to a fill a void that has no bottom.
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  Brother Apostate

  For some, it seems to be hard to analyze what went wrong and why.

  I would bet your question puts you in that category.

  If you can, you should meditate on what both of you brought to the table, in terms of sexual, mental, spiritual, emotional, physical, and material needs and wants; optimism, pessimism, knowledge, humility, empathy, desires, etc.

  If you are honest in your analysis and evaluation, you will find what not to do, what doesn't work, what not to look for in a partner.

  And hopefully, what you should look for.

  And keep in mind that the things we see in others that ruffle our feathers are almost always those things we don't like about ourselves, if only subconsciously.

  BA- Take the time to analyze, learn and improve.

  PS- It won't end at three. Life is a journey, my friend.
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  OUTLAW

  Restrangled..I live in the wilderness,on a mountian top..Being unavailable dosen`t work in this equasion..LOL!!...OUTLAW
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  5go

  Remember the 4th commandment of CRR.... Never make love to a woman that has more mental problems than you have.

  I have nearly committed myself several times and I have to say I have never meet a woman atleast over the age of 19 that didn't have more mental problems then I do.

  I quess the real world hits them on there 19 birthday. No more parental protection, that and their not to young anymore if you get my drift.
• 

  Crumpet

  I don't plan to try for another I would rather just die alone than go through it again.

  I would say 90% bad.

  You are way too young to be saying that. I hear your hurt though - just give yourself a long break. Learn about people - you'll pick better next time.

  My only pattern is that I never go for the same look, background, culture, personality twice. I like variety in my men and women.
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  RAF

  My longer relationship = 11 years - we weren't living in the same house and I knew somehow since our 4 years that it wouldn't last forever - it was just comfortable to be with someone I had a lot in comon with and shared a lot with already - because I also knew that otherwise I would only go for a guy to another PFFFFF not really interesting, I had more interesting thing to be attracted to).

  Since then I'm attracted to people who are leaving very far away ... go figure ! ... I'm not ready to be anyone's wife and maybe will never be. But like anyone else I need to give and get some love though (it just have to be sincere at the moment - to be valuable - whatever will break it up ...). I still wonder what I can really give in this kind of relationship on the long run ... I'm used to live in the moment ... Tomorrow is ... Tomorrow

  So to me anything by now in this area is 100 % dedicated to end up as soon as one of us is over about it (or bugging about it). There is nothing to fight for by then (but friendship if possible).

  But moreover I've never fell like to be granted neither the one I love. I've realised that at some point I've considered my boyfriends just like lets say "brothers" ... I want them happy with or without me, but certainly not with me if it doesn't make him AND me happy. That doesn't mean I don't want to deal with bulls, but I don't want to deal with unuseful bulls ...

  Anyway I do think that dedicated forever relationship are for :

  1. Partners = who needs security somehow (they think about it - it's important to them - they can't really stay alone) it's like replacing one or both of your parents or brothers/sisters ... It can work
  2. Soul mates = who are really good matches (it's alchimic they don't even have to think about it, it just works well). those are the couples who will be able to go trought anything !!! the other one have nothing to compare to any other and nothing will be able to replace him/her ... it just works

  but I do also think that there are people who are not dedicated to be in a forever relationship (= oustiders) they don't need security and they don't need to be loved (the way the others need it) call them lonesome, it just works that way for them, being someone else's partner is just not their main purpose in life, but they can be good and real soulmates for a while (share a moment with someone else in life just because the connection is right at the moment).

  I feel like an outsider by now ... and well tomorrow is another day (never say never).

  It's like having kids (I don't believe in the fact that everybody wants to bread) for some people it's just not the purpose of their life (even if it happens by accident for instance).

  = Different paths/solutions for differents birds.
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  5go

  My only pattern is that I never go for the same look, background, culture, personality twice. I like variety in my men and women.

  Being where I am currently that might be a problem but I am up for fixing it.
• 

  sass_my_frass

  ... will be with a fern!

  Ha no, I had two strikes and then hit a home run with my third.