LOL -- Crumpet. I know exactly how you got that but what I meant was "be angry along with me."
More drama between my mom and I
by reneeisorym 42 Replies latest social family
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exwitless
Renee-so sorry to hear your bad news. It's dumbfounding how the JWs think sometimes. I'm angry for you; what your mother did is appalling. I can't even think of anything to say that's comforting; just so sorry for your loss and the ill treatment you've received.
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moshe
When I read stuff like this it makes me realize how fortunate I am that no one in my family is a JW . Common human decency evades them. Really, they seemed to just want you to not be at the funeral- so you would look bad.
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Dogpatch
What a sick, selfish woman she is Renee. My heart goes out to you.
If you want to add something about this to your story, email me.
Randy
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Abandoned
((((((((((((((((((((Renee))))))))))))))))))))
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penny2
Renee, I think it's just awful the way you are being treated. At 25, that's way too young to be without your whole family. I think it would do you good to reconnect with your lost cousins. It may help them too - I'm sure they've got a few stories to tell. Your whole family being JWs - that would have affected your cousins as well.
Thinking about your mum - her treatment of you made me angry. I can also see how she might have become that way considering how she has been brought up (presume she grew up as a JW). You have not only left but joined another religion. That makes you an apostate in her eyes - you are in the worst category. It doesn't matter how much she loves you or would like to talk to you, she's not allowed to. At least that's what she thinks. She would know that your aunt's death is "necessary family business" but she so fears meeting you that she doesn't contact you until after the funeral. I think she feared how she would cope meeting you, in the presence of her JW family and the non-JW relatives. The JWs would be judging her and the non-JWs would think how crazy it all is. So she has this huge conflict going on.
Don't forget that JWs don't do any thinking for themselves. All their decisions are made for them. So when they are in an unfamiliar situation, they don't know what to do. Whereas you were "thrown in the deep end" and had to make a life for yourself without any family support, your mum is still dependent and in a way, immature. Does that make sense?
Maybe my assessment is wrong but one thing is for sure. It's sad and something you shouldn't have to deal with.
penny2
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Mum
Renee,
My heart goes out to you. I am truly sorry for your loss.
What is so sad is that your poor, deluded mother obviously knew the right thing to do, but chose to do wrong to remain in the "good graces" (as if they are capable of goodness or grace) of a bunch of control freak autocrats! The JW organization represents itself as "spiritual" and laments the "loss of natural affection" between family members. Your mother suppresses her natural affection for you to please these spiritual charlatans. If she ever wakes up to what she's doing, she will have a lot of guilt to cope with. It was very disillusioning (but my freedom resulted) to see that the elders I once met with were far less concerned with right and wrong, character, behavior or the well being of anyone than with tests of loyalty and mind control.
Your aunt is fine. She knows you wanted to be there for her. I hope you can meet your cousins and establish some connection with them. It will mean a lot to you and to them.
Take care of yourself. You have the support of many who care about you regardless of your standing with those who don't really care about you.
All the best,
SandraC
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Madame Quixote
. . . I thought we got this telling me after the fact thing out of the way then but I guess not)
It sounds like your mom knows from past experience that this type of thing comes under "necessary family business" and that she is deliberately being cruel to you. Some people can't be punished enough for "abandoning Jehovah" in the minds of people like that. If they feel that disfellowshipping you isn't punishment enough, they'll find other ways to do it and use d'f'ing as their excuse.
Can't blame you if you continue to follow through with shunning them back. Sometimes it takes a very strong and "big" person to just stay the heck away from that kind of abuse. And it is abuse.
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Madame Quixote
I am very sorry to hear about the loss of your aunt and glad to hear that you may be able to re-connect with your cousins. You probably have some healing and griving to do together. You have lost a lot more than an aunt.
Best wishes and hugs to you, R!
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JWdaughter
Hi Sweetie, I am sorry bout your Aunt. If my mom didn't tell me an aunt had passed, I am blessed with plenty of relatives that would. However, that is not an issue with her. (I am counting my blessings!) It is hard to believe that she is so deluded. She was truly pharisiacal in that she gave herself more requirements and restrictions than even the WT does. And why? Cause she was worried how SHE would look. Grrr.
I forget why you want to have anything to do with her, but I am wondering if it is worth it for you to try to pursue anything.
For future ref, contact all the non-JWs in the family you know and let them know how you will be treated regarding these family things. Ask them if they will keep you informed in case of serious illness or death-or other family business. Your mom is lame. In a very literal way. I am sorry!
Sincerely,
Shelly