Yes, Blondie, you hit the nail on the head. Very perceptive- my mom was ALWAYS worried about "what the brothers think"...
: (
Although- My mom lives in state "X" and I live in state "Y" and my sweetie lives in state "Z" but is moving to my state "Y". So we are not moving to an area where the JWs know us. But I guess just hanging out in our small hometown for ~4 days might raise some eyebrows... although if anyone even asks my mom all she would say is that I was there with my boyfriend.
I hope no one would go to the trouble to "investigate" long distance... I really think (hope) that my mom would not rat me out...
-K
I NEED YOUR ADVICE...! How to tell JW mom I'm going to live with my sweetie
by Kudra 18 Replies latest jw friends
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Kudra
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anewme
I think Blondie's cautionary advice was very good. Be very discreet and tight lipped around any old JW friends you might run into while visiting your old town. They dont need to know the exact town you are moving to. They dont need to know your living arrangements.
Hope it all goes well and congratulations and best wishes to you Kudra!
Anewme -
Abandoned
...JW mom always asks about him, how he's doing, when we first started dating she asked all about what I liked about him, how he treats me, if he's easygoing and I can have a laugh with him etc...
It sounds like your mom is awfully liberal for a JW. I doubt she buys into their whole line of shit anyway. Good luck.
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Kudra
arrrgh. I am nervous about telling her...
As regards letting no info out to the local dubs, ANEWME, I will definitely be as "cautious as a serpent" -but I don't know about that dove thing...
The choice is between telling her BEFORE the trip and possibly ruin her good feelings for us during our visit -but telling the truth or telling her sometime this summer before he moves in, which would necessitate telling a tale this visit but she wouldn't be all worried about it when we spend time together...
Yes, ABANDONED she is a little better than the average dub, but still... I don't want her to feel guilty about what I do- I don't want to "bother her conscience"... -
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new boy
Very interesting............I think as long as you keep "Z" out of "X" and you both stay in "Y" you could be OK....................unless "Z" come to "Y" then you will need to move your "X"........back to say "Y".
Better yet just...........I would just tell your "Z" that "Y" is in your "X"........but nothing is happening and you will never let "Y" even touch your "X" until you both are "M"ed.........
"X" does mark the spot!
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hemp lover
Sorry, no advice about the mom thing. But check out www.southwest.com for flights - weekend of May 5-6. Hope you can make it!
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Xena
I thought you were saving yourself for a Bethelite?
First of all CONGRATULATIONS! And I think it is sweet he is going to ask your dad for your hand in marriage. Parents love that stuff.
So how long from August till ya'll get married and quit living in sin? Personally I'm a "need to know" kind of person. Do your parents need to know where he will be staying when he moves back there? Are they likely to ask outright if he is living with you? If it's for a short time then it might not be to difficult to keep it from them...if it's gonna be awhile it might get to messy. Regardless I would probably wait until it actually comes up and then feel my way as it were.
Hope that helps some!
Oh and come to Texas!
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SWALKER
Nos...I'm afraid we can't get this picture out of our heads in the U.S.:
We're still stuck in the Puritan age....It goes a long way here for a man to talk with the family and let them know his intentions toward their daughter. It's amazing what that will do for you in the long run! It's a nicety, not a necessity.
Kudra...some things are better left unsaid. Just my .02! You don't really owe anyone an explanation and talking about it might put your Mom in an awkward situation. If you don't confirm your living arrangements, she can always say she doesn't know if questioned by the elders in her Hall. (If she asks that's another story! I wouldn't lie, either.)
Swalker
