WAS THIS TRUE IN YOUR CONGREGATION ? (page 3)

daniel-p

I found class distinction to be very well alive in JW congregations. The poorer folk hung out together only and the wealthier ones likewise. I never saw any mixing of them unless it was at a congregation picnic or something.

done4good

The Congo I grew up in was fairly wealthy, (we were not). This didn't help things, but the big problem really, was my mother was married to a UBM. That was the consistent deal breaker.

j

Finally-Free

I can recall some individuals or families who would complain about not being included. One couple springs to mind. They were always down in the mouth about something. When they were invited, they usually declined. After meetings they would bolt out the door within two minutes. Yet their constant refrain was, 'Ohhh no one wants anything to doooo with ussss. No one inviiiiiites us anywherrrrre.' Do you think, after hearing this, we didn't try harder to involve them? We did! But it was like, 'Oh, don't worry about ussss. We're just gonna stay home and wallow in our depressed state because no one ever wants anything to doooo with ussss."

There can be 2 sides to a story like this. My ex and I were rarely included in anything that didn't require a gift, such as weddings. Even then we were usually invited only for the dancing part - the dinners were usually reserved for elders and their families. Our phone never rang unless someone was looking for a favour of some kind, food, or money. That didn't stop us from inviting people over for dinner regularly. We made it a point to invite everyone in the hall over at least once a year. We'd try to be the perfect hosts while listening to their comments about how "uncontemporary" our home was, or their unsolicited advice on weight loss strategies. What can I say? We weren't well off - we were pioneers™ and only I was working at the time. The end was close so we didn't use up our resources trying to have a showpiece home. After 12 years of trying my damndest to fit in and be hospitable, I decided that was enough. I was tired of wasting my money entertaining people who, for the most part, did nothing but criticize me or my ex constantly. I stopped hanging around the hall after the meetings to associate with people who could not carry on an intelligent conversation for more than 2 minutes before their eyes glazed over. We started to be more selective about which invitations we accepted. I no longer enjoyed being around them, and the only invitations we accepted were at my ex's insistance. While many people assumed we stayed home in our depressed state nothing could be further from the truth. We started going away a lot more on weekend trips, or did a lot of touristy things around town. I started to take courses, and got into a new career.

To be completely honest, excluding me from most social activities is probably the best thing the JWs ever did for me. Although it hurt at the time, today I'm very thankful for it.

W

Confession

Two sides? Yes of course. But I think you'd find your situation and the couple I describe are considerably different. This couple was new in the organization and were related by blood to another couple--our good friends. As such, they were included--not only in any big congregation get togethers--but also in some of the simple, private stuff we did. These people never called me or my wife and never invited *us* to anything.

The woman was consistently negative; could rarely manage even a smile; never anything positive to say. The man just kept to himself; never seemed like he was really "with the program." You couldn't draw him out in a conversation. I understand that there may have been problems we couldn't recognize, but what else can you do? These were just a couple of sad sacks who were included in as many things (if not more than) the rest of the congregation. Sometimes there are good explanations for these things, but I submit that other times it's just a case of negative, whining people who blame their unhappiness on others, while doing little or nothing to foster good relationships themselves.

juni

Thanks to all of you for taking the time to post your experiences.

Juni

greendawn

The general picture seems to be that the org is totally uninterested in helping the social integration of members who due to their financial status or family status are at risk of being left out. They refuse to even aknowledge that such problems exist in their spiritual paradise. Of course without a social life a spiritual life means nothing. The emotional needs are not taken care of. But then with the end being so near that's a minor problem. Conclusion: the WTS is not geared to looking after its members' interests.

juni

So true Greendawn!

Juni

buffalosrfree

More affluent more opportunities, the less money the less invites. Thee however was one sister no matter what you did for her always gave credit to god rather than to you or your wife.

bronzefist

Hi Lady J,

Absolutely! The rich get richer the poor get poorer. Ruling class and slave class. Anyone ever see a box at their hall for the widows or orphans?

brzfst

Pioneer Spit...oh, i mean Spirit

Absolutely, in every cong I've ever been in.

We, both my parents while I was growing up, and my husband and me, invited the poor and the miserable - those outside the mainstream - over for dinner and into service often, because we believed that was what we were supposed to do, plus it brought some happiness and togetherness to people who were generally left out because of their circumstances.

WAS THIS TRUE IN YOUR CONGREGATION ?

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