by minimus 29 Replies latest jw friends
The Congregation that I attended, were all related to one other on some level.. Big Family affair. At least half being "born-ins".
I came in from the world, along with a small handful of others. It seemed we were always on the outside looking in. I seriously feel
there is a division between those that had family in for generations or born-ins - and - those coming in from the world. It felt as tho we
were some how "Tainted" from our past experiences...and could Never measure up.
I had no parents in the JWs so I was completely ignored and left outside the social life of the congo and was only very rarely invited to any functions, about three times a year. That's one reason why I left the dubs, needed some social life.
I read a few post here in which people said they were looked down on for HAVING money. In the hall I grew up in, it was completely opposite! The elders were always kissing up to anyone who had (or seemed to have) any kind of material wealth. What was interesting is that my family lived very modestly despite having the means to drive flashy cars and wear flashy clothes. Because of this, we were always lumped in with the POOR people and treated like crap by the elders and pioneers.
We were never insulted to our faces Minimus, but my husband and I were a handicap couple of little means. We had the Book Study and Saturday Field Service meeting in our old flat top rented house. We served in a very wealthy congregation and we were the poorest of the poor. I couldnt work for having to care for him 24/7 so our income was an unspeakable pittance.
The first sign that something was wrong was about fifteen years into the book study at our house, say around the year 2000 that the attendance was falling off and so was weekend field service. We found out that the friends were going to another book study and field service meeting. We were sincerely concerned as to why this was happening. I just love people and teenagers and children and loved to entertain with treats after the meetings, so I just know it wasnt me. Could it be our humble offerings? I tried my best to decorate and offer a clean well lighted experience.
Anyway, it became a bizarre problem with few showing up for the Thursday night meeting. I'd go to alot of trouble, in addition to caring for a quadriplegic all day, mow the lawn, clean up the whole house and mop the entire floor and work work work right up til the moment they came in the door at 7:25
The sacrifice became SO NOT WORTH IT! The teens would not say hello. The wives or husbands would not show up. Teens would leave in the middle to sit in the car and listen to the radio. Few people would raise their hand to answer and everyone would scoot out right after the meeting. I would be left at 8:45pm looking at my husband and wondering "WHAT JUST HAPPENED?" Like I said BIZZARO! (The year was now 2001 and I began to crumble and fall apart with so little support and walked away from it all a few months later)
Anewme
I was always looked down on i think for being considered 'weak' and being quiet.Hubby was looked down on for being a shift worker,even by his mother. When we had the bs at our house a few times as we have a large sitting room and when it wasn't convenient to have it at the usual place, suddenly we would be their best friends again (the users) cos they wanted out room, hardly any of the group would show and those that did never even bothered to say hello or anything!I spent ages hoovering and setting out chairs etc cos my husband was usually at work, no one offered to help and i had two youngsters as well to take care of. The last time we were asked i said no and they never asked again hooray!But to be honest in my experience of my congregation, with all the gossiping and back biting they all seem to look down on each other in one way or another, you just can't win with people like that.
Women are always the lowest on the WTS totem pole. Even unbaptized male publishers are valued more as potential baptized males.
The worst thing you can be is a old, black, poor, ailing sister with an "unbelieving" husband.
Blondie
Anewme, persons like you validate why the Organization has no love.
The worst thing you can be is a old, black, poor, ailing sister with an "unbelieving" husband.
No No No,, read the other posts, it is because you have money, that is the reason why you are looked down upon. Not because you are "poor". Get your incorrect assertions right.
I knew things were gonna be hard for me when I walked in the main door.....the piano stopped and all heads turned to look at me ...the 90 year old,skint,Albanian midget with a speech defect and body odour...I knew from that minute on...I had work to do to make friends
I think it was a combination of being looked down upon combined with jealousy on the part of certain people. Maybe those born in looked down on me (as they do of everybody else "new" who comes in). But, I came to notice that certain people were jealous because I had a job! I also must have intimidated some there because I am confident and well-spoken and can be outspoken when the occasion calls for it. It also didn't help that I was attractive and single. I was excluded from certain things because of this.
All in all, I got the impression that because of all of the above, some people thought I "owed" people something because they wrongly believed that I was some kind of "golden girl" (bullshit, I was only a working girl). Imagine the nerve of them to think this!!! What is pathetic is that I would have been the LAST person to get help if I needed it because you don't help somebody you are jealous of, do you?
This is a sad commentary on THEM.
LHG
