Lost my father in law

by Crooked Lumpy Vessel 13 Replies latest jw friends

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  jaguarbass

  Any suggestions on how to help him move through this difficult time onto a postive and healthy place without overwhelming my own mental health?

  The week my father died, I lost my job of 23 years and my only child moved out of state. Paxil and about 4 years worked for me.

  Then the numbness sets in and you go about your business.

  My father wasnt a witness, But since I am no longer a witness, I dont really know what happens when we die. I find that kind of confusing, and 4 years ago depressing.

  Then the numbness sets in and you go about your business.

  My mother and brother who were dubs but left the org turned to spiritism and are able to visit with my dead father. I wasnt that close to my dad, and talking with the dead gives me the heeby jeebies.

  Any suggestions on how to help him move through this difficult time onto a postive and healthy place without overwhelming my own mental health?

  I deal with mental health issues professionaly, I am a detentionon officer dealing with juveniles under 21. We come right out and ask them if they want to hurt themselves. And if they say they do we watch them very closely. And arrange for them to have counselling.
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  DJK

  My condolences to you and your husband.

  My father in-law died about 7 years ago. My wife developed an inability to handle anger over the years since then that I felt was related to his passing. It got very bad (I thought about a divorce) until I spoke to her about it last July. I never suggested her fathers passing as a cause for it. She decided on her own to see a councilor and it has been beneficial.

  My sister passed away less than a month ago. Of an eight member family we were closest to each other than the rest. We even worked together and the last time I saw her was at work. My wife has been supportive and beside me the whole way through the grieving process and I appreciate that. My wife brought up my sister everyday and I had to ask her to taper off. For me, and I don't know about your husband, I needed that.

  Time will heal for you and for me, it varies for all and until then, best wishes.
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  mouthy

  Many many condolences I am so sorry to hear the news. I lost my kids in death & all you need to do is what you are doing .Loving your hubby , I believe in the promise that you will see him again.At least you must recognise that the earthly suffering he had with the cancer was not a long, long, suffering.My girl did have a long time....Love him, assure him that his Dads suffering is finished & we have a better promise....
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  juni

  I'm sorry to hear of your loss. It was very hard for me when I lost my Dad due to cancer. As the others have said, everyone has to work through their grief in their own way. You are there for your husband which is the loving way, but he has to work through this personally. If he does seem to be getting to a point where you feel he's not doing good you might want to talk with a professional.

  Scully made a very good suggestion about planting a tree or some other planting as a "memorial" to Dad. And perhaps arrange it so you can have that certain area as a place to come to reflect on the good times you shared.

  Peace to you and your husband,

  Juni