Are We Too Loving To Be JWs?

dedpoet

This is a thought that I've been pondering on for a while now.

More than a few on this forum cite lack of love as one of the
major reasons that they quit attending jw meetings, and while
it wasn't the reason I left, the lack of genuine love was very evident
in the congregation I attended.

I'm not saying that all jws are unloving, not at all. I know many who
show genuine love and concern for their fellow jws, and for those
outside the organisation. But some of the rules, in paricular the
shunning of former members, and the harsh treatment handed out
by judicial committees, along with their abject failure to protect
children from child molesters within the organisation, seem to me
to be very much at odds with an organisation reputedly based on love.

It seems to me, however, that the kind of loving concern for the
welfare of others that is so evident on forums like this one, mainly
composed of ex jws, was and still is lacking within the watchtower
nowadays. Maybe that's one of the reasons why we are ex jws -
we are too loving to be part of the organisation anymore, we just
didn't fit in, so we had no real choice but to leave.

If that is true, then although the watchtower, with it's current membership
at around the 6.5 million mark may be numerically strong, it is weak,
and getting weaker in a far more important way, as it is losing those
who, rather than just talk about the love that supposedly exists in
the organisation, actually try and live in a way that identifies them as
people who have genuine love for their fellow man.

dedpoet

Crumpet

Excellent topic Trev. In my case my big turning point was when my Dad refused to let me bring back a school friend who was in danger because she was worldly and when I frefused to leave her he left me to the streets. I could take his rejection of me but not of a stranger in trouble. It was totally unsamaritan of him and I couldnt forgive it.

compound complex

Greetings Trev,

Your points are well made. A truly good and loving person does his thing without fanfare. The Watch Tower, I imagine in her desire to be first among all, blows a trumpet to attract attention. But it's all blare. Jesus said not to blow that trumpet. The blessing comes in secret from the One whose reward is genuine.
Ray Franz commented that one particular person, Robert Lang, who helped a DFd person when others would not, was a good person DESPITE the Watch Tower organization, not because of it.
You're correct, too, in stating that the Watch Tower is growing weaker. Her holdings [wealth] and apparent ability to survive the clamor of "the little people" whom she has hurt cannot abide forever. Whether it's by degrees or by some yet unimagined occurrence, something's got to give.

Thanks for this topic,

CoCo

Do Not Call

You're not wrong. I find the JWs (not all of them, I hasten to add) judgemental and critical more than loving and kind.
Especially with the shunning! I couldn't possibly shun my own kids, no matter what. Nor watch them die for the want of blood.
My elderly JW relative, who's in 'good standing' in the cong. has been housebound for around 3 years now. NO-ONE visits or takes her magazines or anything!! She hasn't seen a JW for nearly a year, not even at the memorial time. It's appalling.
Yet, her neighbours, non-JW relatives etc. all go to see her.
(I think JWs are kept too busy to bother anyway.)
DNC

nvrgnbk

I've pondered this ? for a few moments Trev(dedpoet). It is an excellent one.

I think it comes down to the difference between conditional and unconditional love.

I don't believe that JWs are by nature unloving people. Not for a second. They are participating in a form of worship that glorifies and defines love as something that can be given and withdrawn on a whim. If certain criteria is not met, be it God's, the org's, the elders', your parents', clique A's, or clique B's, you're not getting any.

When we leave that mindset, either physically, or mentally(in the case of those that stay behind for family and friends) we are especially sensitive to the power and beauty of unconditional love. It is something new and foreign to us, and it feels so good to pour it out generously. Hence, the love seen on this forum.

Nvr's 2 cents

Gayle

There are loving people there in the organization, in spite of the organization not because of it. Witnesses are taught judgmentalism, which destroys love. Harder to love fully there, with all the restrictions there. "Unconditional love" was a strange phrase to learn on leaving JWs - it's a wonderful thing!

journey-on

I venture to say, however, if you ask a JW this, they will tell you that their love is the deepest kind and probably quote the scripture about God discipling those whom he loves. They think the shunning is the ultimate kind of love and they always tell you how difficult it is to do this to their own flesh and blood....but if you really love the person who has "fallen away"...really love them...you'll do it. B*&%sh*t!

juni

Good morning or afternoon there Trev!

~ Excellent topic for discussion.

First of all like others and you yourself have said, there are JWs who do love from the heart w/o the fanfare. I have to use the cong. that I had belonged to for most of my 21 years as my measuring stick so to speak because I knew the individuals better.

Without getting into each individual story, I know for a fact that there were many who would show love because it "was the right thing to do". It was "expected" as a sign that you were one of Christ's followers. But these very same people could turn on a dime against those they had showed "love" to by back biting and at times down right lying to make the person seem that they were not "spiritual".

It was one of the reasons I left. I did not care to associate w/people of this sort. The hurtfulness toward others brought me down.

For myself, I show love and compassion towards others because it comes from my heart (this sounds boastful or whatever, but I'm trying to explain myself) not because someone or an organization tells me that this is what I "should do". I felt that I personally did not fit in w/what this organization was expounding.

Juni

Edited to say this - I went to another K. Hall and found the same there also. And after reading the posts of so many over the years at this forum, I see this attitude in the congregations is everywhere. It is the same thing! You have brought up a very good point Trev

OUTLAW

Trev..Good Morning from The Great White North!..Interesting thread,I was thinking about this subject yesterday..I don`t find Jehovah`s Witness`s genuinely loving at all.The truth is,they really don`t care about one another..If WBT$ tells them to turn on a fellow JW,they will do it in a heart beat.No questions asked.Your best friend one day,your enemy the next day.All at the wim of the WBT$..Jehovah`s Witness`s behave more like trained dogs of war,than loving Christians..............My best to you and Linda...OUTLAW

orangefatcat

Hi Trev, good post.

my personal experience is this, I am an extremely loving person (not bragging) but I know it has made other witnesses jealous as to how much caring I can give.

there was a couple of jw sisters who really didn't like me on bit and they didn't hesitate to express that point to other and also to my family. Frankly the problem was her own. She didn't like the way I laughed and so she wouldn't include me in any of her gatherings whereas she did the rest of my family. Thats okay, I don't give a hoot, if a person doesn't want to have a friend like me then thats too bad because they are the one losses.

I have always been kind, thoughtful and one thing I never did was gossip and hurt other the way alot hurt me.

I kills me when you know there are people in the Org. who pretend to be so lovey dovey especially with 10s of thousands meet for the annual summer convention. It is like everyone is pretending to be your best friend and yet as soon as you turned your back they put a knife in it. I always felt when a bro, from the platform says , "Isn't it wonderful brothers and sister to see how much we love one another ." Then you hear a thunderous clapping. It sent shivers down my back. It was too hypocritical.

of course that was part of the reason I left the organization. witnesses don't want to get involved in deep friendships, they are so superficail. My sister and her husband are well off and they would have constantly big dinners and invite only the ones who were thier equals. And it never failed they were either at home Saturdays entertaining or were at others homes being entertained in a manner to which they are all acustomed too.

She use to have me come over to her home practically every other weekend to prepare her dinning table, I am a proffessional at arranging dinner parties and setting spectacular dinning tables. So like a chump I would go over to their home do all this work and then she'd say to me, we are having so and so over for dinner, Thanks so much for you help, and that was it. No invite no nothing after all the work I would do for her. Call me whatever for having done this for years, I had just hoped I guess one of those times my sister would ask me to join their soirees, No chance though.

I was fed up with so much crap going on in the org. I just had to get out. I couldn't breathe, I need to get away and develop new and lasting friendships. It is a funny thing though because my two dearest friends were both once JWs too and even though there were seven yrs I was told i could'nt assocaite with them or I'd be disfellowshipped my heart longed and so did theirs because the instant I was out too we all got back together and it was if there were no time lapse in our friendship, we just seemed to pick up exactly where we left off .

I have a so much love that I attribute to my beloved grandma who in my earliest yrs was my grandma, my best friend, my mentor and the love of my life. I miss her dearly.

Thanks grandma, you made me what I am today.

PS Grandma wasn't a JW.

love orangefatcat.

Are We Too Loving To Be JWs?

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