Are We Too Loving To Be JWs?

by dedpoet 16 Replies latest jw friends

  • dedpoet
    dedpoet

    Thanks everyone for all your replies

    Crumpet:

    In my case my big turning point was when my Dad refused to let me bring back a school friend who was in danger because she was worldly and when I frefused to leave her he left me to the streets. I could take his rejection of me but not of a stranger in trouble. It was totally unsamaritan of him and I couldnt forgive it

    So much for the so-called agape love that jws have for non-jws. Perhaps your dad felt he could be selective about who was entitled to salvation even though the bible says that god wants everyone to be saved. (2Peter 3:9)

    CoCo

    A truly good and loving person does his thing without fanfare

    Indeed, but it's a fact that seems to escape many jws, who love to boast about the love that exists within their organisation.

    DNC

    I find the JWs (not all of them, I hasten to add) judgemental and critical more than loving and kind.

    I found that as well while I was a jw.

    nvrgnbk

    I think it comes down to the difference between conditional and unconditional love.

    I don't believe that JWs are by nature unloving people. Not for a second. They are participating in a form of worship that glorifies and defines love as something that can be given and withdrawn on a whim

    Good point, and that differrence often seems to be lost on jws. They will only love you as a fellow jw while you remain in the org. Once you leave, they withdraw that love as if they're turning off a tap

    Gayle

    There are loving people there in the organization, in spite of the organization not because of it.

    Excellent comment, very much in line with my own thoughts on this topic. The wts likes to portray itself as an organisation based on love, yet has all these rules that are based on anything but love.

    journey-on

    They think the shunning is the ultimate kind of love and they always tell you how difficult it is to do this to their own flesh and blood....but if you really love the person who has "fallen away"...really love them...you'll do it. B*&%sh*t!

    They are taught to see the shunning policy as an act of love, though I always struggled to see it that way, as did many other jws I knew. I personally feel that the shunning rule is more of a security measure on the part of the wts, devised to prevent jws from having contact with former members, and maybe finding out the real reasons why they left. It is more to protect the organisation for potential further losses than the r&f.

    juni

    For myself, I show love and compassion towards others because it comes from my heart (this sounds boastful or whatever, but I'm trying to explain myself) not because someone or an organization tells me that this is what I "should do". I felt that I personally did not fit in w/what this organization was expounding.

    Showing love should be natural, it isn't something that can be taught. I remember when I was an attendant, we used to be counselled to welcome people, especially new ones, to the meetings. I personally never needed training to do that, it was something I did without thinking, but the wts eveidently felt they needed to do it, like reminding the congregation to be loving towards new ones, further proof that much of the love-bombing many of us received did not come from the heart at all.

    Outlaw

    ..Jehovah`s Witness`s behave more like trained dogs of war,than loving Christians...

    Many of them do, especially towards those who leave the organisation. It all goes to prove that the love they allegedly base their religion on is not genuine love at all

    OFC

    I have always been kind, thoughtful and one thing I never did was gossip and hurt other the way alot hurt me.

    And now you are out of the wts, like many others I have met who had similar qualities, and offerring genuine love to other ex jws. The absence of those like yourself and many others on this forum from the watchtower nowadays is what led me to the conclusion that the wts is losing that kind of person, and keeping the more judgemental types. If that trend continues, and I don't see the org doing anything to change it, then the obvious lack of love that exists now in the org and individual congregations will become even more pronounced.

    dedpoet

  • OUTLAW
    OUTLAW

    Trev..The absense of love has always been there..I grew up in the Jehovah`s Witness Cult and have never seen anything different..I think if you join the Jehovah`s Witness`s,the first thing you see is the love bombing.Everything else is hidden or not fully explained to you,your a JW Newbie..It comes as a shock when you discover something quit differnt actually going on.....In the end..Only the most indoctrinated,mindless and or ruthless survive in the Cult,Jehovah`s Witness`s...OUTLAW

  • Numinous
    Numinous

    It has been said that JWs will die for their brothers, yet, as we have seen, often neglect to live for their brothers. I used to hate it when I got a letter closed with "agape love", which to me was the same as saying 'principled, impersonal love that we are obligated to have for our brothers'.

  • anewme
    anewme

    I second what GAYLE and OUTLAW said!

    Some JWs are loving DESPITE THE ORGANIZATION WHICH IS TRYING TO KILL THEIR NATURAL AFFECTION AND FEELINGS OF UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.



  • orangefatcat
    orangefatcat

    When it comes to a disfellowshipped family member, this is the one time that water is thicker than blood.

    family members are terrified of the societiy's rule to speak to a family member, they down trodden the laws of natural affection, and seeing how God is love, and they are told to love one another as themselves and to love their neighbours as themselves ,but hey don't show any love to your disfellowshipped child, father, grandparents or whom ever is the one that is ousted from such a loveing family.

    Orangefatcat.

  • Arthur
    Arthur

    I noticed that despite the love that is shown to each other; there is a very troubling judgementalism that exists just below the surface. I began to notice that JWs judge and critique the "spirituality" of their fellows based upon organizational standards; not Scriptural ones. If a brother is in his 30s or 40s and does not have some kind of title (i.e. MS, Elder) the friends look upon him with less respect. The Field Service Report Slip is a tool by which people are monitored, and critiqued. If a brother does not produce good enough stats, he is not deemed worthy of serving in any capacity in the congregation.

    I came to realize that the Watchtower leadership is much more interested in perpetuating the organization, than they are in uplifting and shepherding Christ's sheep. Their idea of "shepherding" is to micromanage, control, and force everyone into robotic, lock-step conformity.

    Their idea of providing for the flock is to continually coerce them to march forward on the organizational treadmill. That is not the Christian way. That is more characteristic of commercial corporations.

  • chelleadam
    chelleadam

    I grew up in a house where my father was the Presiding Overseer of our congregation. I remember him going to meetings and shaking hands with all the elders, asking them how they were, etc. But after elders meeting, he would be fuming in the car and saying how they made him furious and it was all he could do not to hit certain ones. He rarely showed us children that he loved us and would have frequent fits of anger. My mother was not much better. So I guess I have always felt like the whole "we love each other, just as Jesus loved us" thing was a load of crap.

    I'm sure there are some genuine, loving, JWs out there, but I've met very few of them.

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