gay sister? Need input (page 2)

DJK

My youngest sister, 28, is in a similar situation. I have wondered myself about her. I wont ask because she will say no, and I don't think it will help me to stop wondering. Unless I see her with a man of course.

It sounds like you have a good relationship with your JW sister. You should be able to talk about your concerns for her happiness and reassure her you will always be there to talk to. Talk about her interests in marraige and children and not directly about homosexuality.

Maybe she has a desire for a male companion, to be married and have children. In the small group of JWs she is familiar with there may be no offering. I was there once when I wanted a female companion so I know how disappointing that can be.

Some part's of people's lives are private. Unless she is in physical danger, respect that privacy.

Tuesday

Eh, I'd encourage her to go after the non-JW guy. Let her know fornication is only fornication if you're not married. Just say the worst that would happen is that she would be disfellowshipped for a little while, and in that time the guy will be able to speak to her and let her know that you would be there to support her as well. That would lead to her either telling you that it's not a guy, or she would actually get with the guy and you would know then for sure. Besides if her friend is also going after the brother of this guy, let her know if her and her friend married them at the same time or went after them at the same time and were both disfellowshipped they would be able to support each other as well.

lesterd

You might role play to her, by saying you have these overhelming feelings that you have hidden for someone of the same sex, and could she give you any help on dealing with those feelings, do not kown what your situation is, if your married or just love guys so she would know your were fishing, do the hyathetical and see what comes out of her. Good luck.

sass_my_frass

If she is gay, and knows it, and her partner feels the same way, perhaps they are happier with their current arrangement than with losing everybody. Coming out isn't just a tv episode that can be wrapped up with a happy ending; it takes the rest of their life, and they have to go through it with everybody they ever meet to some scale - the hotel receptionist, the waiter, the train conductor, new friends and workmates... everybody has to be talked through it, as if it's everybody's business. If she comes out to you, it's going to start the process of undoing the way she has chosen to live her life. That's a big and terrifying prospect that not many people can manage, and as supportive as you can be for her, you're not going to be able to replace all the people who will cut off her and her partner.

You could let her choose her own path. She can't be completely blind to her choices; she's an adult and has chosen what feels to her to be the right way for now. If you want to let her know that you're there for her, do that thing that somebody else mentioned; talk about another gay person in your life in a positive way, just once. She will know that you'll be there for her if she ever finds the strength to take the step.

Also make sure she knows how great life has been for you since you stopped letting the witnesses influence your decisions. If she's ever going to come out, she'd have two big things to get through, she'd have to lose her religion as well. You could help her a lot by being her guy with that.

nvrgnbk

Don't they make inputs for gay sisters?

Navigator

I think that Megadude gave you some good advice on this one. Her sexual orientation is her business, but given the JW view on the matter I can understand why she wouldn't want to reveal it if she is gay. There are a number of churches which are accepting of gays and I'm sure that eventually she will find one if that is her path. There are a number of Lesbian couples in my church(Unity) and we don't see them as anything but expressing GOD AS! Who cares anyway?

divejunkie

Thank you for answering.

In response to some of the questions or suggestions asked backed to me:

* I have been minding my own business. I have never been intrusive with her decisions and she knows my views on gay people- starting with the fact that one of my oldest and dearest friends is gay.

* She also knows that we are out of the borg and what my feelings are about the WT.

* What gives me the idea that they might be gay, is the nature of their relationship. The way they talk to each other, sit next to each other, fight and make up with each other,etc. There are way too many things to mention, but like I said on my original post, I'm talking of about 20 years of observations here.

* I guess the general consensus is that I need to stay out of it- which is what I've been doing all this time. Maybe it's true that they have both made a decision to leave things as they are. But it is so hard to watch someone you love loose her joy and spirit little by little.

Thanks anyway.

gay sister? Need input

DJK