How much have you changed since you left the JWs..........

by fifi40 39 Replies latest jw friends

  • fifi40
    fifi40

    The reason that I ask this question is for two reasons mainly.

    Firstly, my experience as a JW and within the various congregations I was part of, was that they were a very mixed bag. There were those who were very devout, studious and appeared to be very humble and placid in nature. There were those that were very judgemental of others. And there were those that seemed to sail very close to the line, who lived on the edge and as such could be considered not serious JWs. Since I was d/fed I have been blatantly ignored, lost regular contact with one of my flesh and blood brothers who serves as an elder, and yet other witnesses quite happily talk to me, have even visited me (I am not talking about the Elders visiting me) and I even had one elder tell me that he thought the society had not got the disfellowshipping thing right yet. What I am saying is that my experience of the JWs as individuals was that they are a dont all approach life in the same way and all have different ways of viewing things.

    Secondly, my short experience of this forum has led me to have the opinion that we also are a right mixed bag. There appears to be those that are very studious, those that are very kind in their manner of approach, those that are very hard and judgemental and those that are just plain up for a party.

    I have always been quite laid back in my approach to people and life, both as a JW and as a non JW. I always had worldly friends. I hate judging people to a large extent but like things to be fair. Sometimes I find that posters are very hard on JWs and their beliefs and it strikes me that they have forgotten what it is like being part of that religion and how your thinking and life is manipulated by the teachings.

    What I am asking is this - Do you feel you have changed, grown as a person, become more understanding and forgiving since your departure from the JWs or are you the same personality type as you were before, but just on the other side of the fence?

    Fi

  • mouthy
    mouthy

    Talk about Jekel & Hyde.
    That is me. I was a judgemental,pushy,strict,selfrightous,suffering, beaten woman as a JW-----
    NOW!!!! -you can do as you like,aint my buisness, I dont judge any one, I know I am not rightoues now,I am not strict anymore ( only about smoking in my house I cant stand the smell))

    I dont let any one beat me anymore I have more self respect.
    Talk about like night & day. Then I was in the dark, Now I am in the light

  • RichieRich
    RichieRich

    As a JW, I was under tons of stress, and never comfortable at home or at the Kingdom Hall. I fought depression because of the anxiety I felt about living a double life. I was submissive, yet irritable.

    Now, I am free to do what I want. I'm surrounded by people who love and support me. When someone fails to meet thos qualifications, I have no problem telling them what's wrong, and where to go. My self worth is more than likely unnecessarily high, and I'm happy to wake up every morning and look in the mirror.

    I still think the Watchtower should be brought down, but I don't take so much time to bother with it any more. Don't mistake that for Apathy, however. I'm just busy living the good life.

  • Undecided
    Undecided

    Not much. I always had worldly friends that I respected and enjoyed being around. I also had JWs who I enjoyed being with. I don't feel so overloaded with theocratic duties now that I don't go to any meetings or do any service or believe any of the new or old light. I just live my life and enjoy whatever I can, regardless of wheither the borg likes it or not.

    Ken P.

  • Crumpet
    Crumpet
    There appears to be those that are very studious, those that are very kind in their manner of approach, those that are very hard and judgemental and those that are just plain up for a party.

    I think I am pretty much the same but instead of keeping my personality a secret because it was considered so shameful - now I let it flourish out in the open and people respond to my directness and honesty. Because I try not to be judgemental about anything then people dont have to hide things from me which makes it easy to relax. The only people who cant relax around me are the ones who feel they have to keep things secret anyway.

    I am very studious, can be very kind, can be very hard and judgemental and am frequently just plain up for a party!

  • UnConfused
    UnConfused

    Like Mouthy, I USED to be critical & judgemental -- you know - you imitate the God you worship - aka - WT

    Now I'm not

    And I have facial hair

  • done4good
    done4good

    As a dub, I was always somewhat in the middle of the road. I took many things seriously, (mostly, the stuff that really mattered), and was quite liberal in other areas, (I was much more down to earth, and preferred to associate with other jws that were). Too many things didn't add up in my life, then. These days, I'm still down to earth, but much happier. I've learned to enjoy the things I pretty much always enjoyed, just without any guilt now. Life makes a lot more sense this way.

    j

  • nvrgnbk
    nvrgnbk

    Talk about Jekel & Hyde.
    That is me. I was a judgemental,pushy,strict,selfrightous,suffering, beaten woman as a JW-----
    NOW!!!! -you can do as you like,aint my buisness, I dont judge any one, I know I am not rightoues now,I am not strict anymore ( only about smoking in my house I cant stand the smell))

    I dont let any one beat me anymore I have more self respect.
    Talk about like night & day. Then I was in the dark, Now I am in the light

    And that's why you have 100's if not 1000's of devoted adopted grandchildren mouthy!

    Nvr

  • mouthy
    mouthy

    And that's why you have 100's if not 1000's of devoted adopted grandchildren mouthy

    You know nvr,,,,,I truly feel like a JOB. I was loyal to the WT lost most of my unbeliving family because I was so pushy,Then I got kicked out, Got those folks back but lost my JW family...Now I have 1000 of wonderful "kids" grand-kids" friends, It proves to me Gods promise what the Locusts ate,are restored... Many on here many ,,,not on here. I just had an e-mail from England a kid considers me her Granny because her JW MUM & I were very close.
    I tried so hard to make this kid a JW.Her Mother is still one- (was in Earnest congregation)

    She want to come for the 16th of May to be here for my birthday.... Boy am I glad she was one that wasnt influence by me. She is not a Christian YET!!!! But I am impressed that she loves me so,
    God is GOOD

    All the time

  • fifi40
    fifi40

    Mouthy or Dear adopted Gran - I love reading your posts, they are entertaining and humorous, forgive me if you already have done so but dont you think its is time we had a bit of your life story and experiences.

    Fi

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