Looking Back, Do You Think You Ever Really "Loved" Jehovah?

by minimus 26 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Arthur

  I did not love the Watchtower's version of Jehovah. After leaving the organization; I came to realize that I had been in a very similar situation of a child who never met their father. The mother gives the child a very skewed, twisted, and morbid picture of what their father is like. When the child gets older, and actually goes to meet their dad for the first time, they realize that everything that they had believed was false. The father is very different from what their mother had told them.

  The Watchtower's version of Yahweh / Jehovah is a very twisted, pathological portrayal of God. Their version of God is a loving God with a dominant neurotic, fitfull, jealous, and insecure alter-ego. Their God is a projection of their own sick minds.

  Their are dozens of versions of the Christian God out their. The Mormons, Seventh Day Adventists, Catholic Church, and Bible cults all paint a different picture of God. For me, I know that I must break out of the sectarian "group-think" to know what God is really like.
• 

  nvrgnbk

  All of the above replies are great. But, wow PrimateDave, yours really touched me.

  Yes brother we are all in recovery from Jehovah's "love".

  Nvr
• 

  Arthur

  I agree, the post by PrimateDave was excellent. It expressed so many of my feelings and observations as well.

  I recently wrote a letter to Ron Frye - the author of "My Christian Quest - From Jehovah's Witness toSon of God". He made a very interesting observation in his reply. His observation was similar to that of PrimateDave's post. This is what he wrote to me in his letter:

  "Like you, I was troubled by the fact that there was no forum within the organization in which difficultquestions could be openly discussed and dealt with." Frye continues:

  "But we could not even raise a question without exposing ourselves to charges of lacking a good heart. This intellectual dishonesty and intimidation would only be necessary in an organization that lacked true spiritual strength and confidence."
• 

  PrimateDave

  Thanks, Nvr and Arthur. I didn't know if my words were coherent.
  
  I have to give the credit where credit is due. I have been reading
  
  For Your Own Good by Alice Miller. The following passage made quite
  
  an impression on me:
  
  

  We admire people who oppose the regime in a totalitarian country and think they have courage or a "strong moral sense" or have remained "true to their principles" or the like. We may also smile at their naïveté, thinking, "Don't they realize that their words are of no use at all against this oppressive power? That they will have to pay dearly for their protest?"
  
  Yet it is possible that both those who admire and those who scorn these protesters are missing the real point: individuals who refuse to adapt to a totalitarian regime are not doing so out of a sense of duty or because of naïveté but because they cannot help but be true to themselves. The longer I wrestle with these questions, the more I am inclined to see courage, integrity, and a capacity for love not as "virtues," not as moral categories, but as the consequences of a benign fate [i.e. someone who has not been emotionally abused throughout childhood].
  
  Morality and performance of duty are artificial measures that become necessary when something essential is lacking. The more successfully a person was denied access to his or her feelings in childhood, the larger the arsenal of intellectual weapons and the supply of moral prostheses has to be, because morality and a sense of duty are not sources of strength or fruitful soil for genuine affection. Blood does not flow in artificial limbs; they are for sale and can serve many masters. What was considered good yesterday can--depending on the decree of government of party--be considered evil and corrupt today, and vice versa. But those who have spontaneous feelings can only be themselves. They have no other choice if they want to remain true to themselves. Rejection, ostracism, loss of love, and name calling will not fail to affect them; they will suffer as a result and will dread them, but once they have found their authentic self they will not want to lose it. And when they sense that something is being demanded of them to which their whole being says no, they cannot do it. They simply cannot.
  
  This is the case with people who had the good fortune of being sure of their parents' love even if they had to disappoint certain parental expectations. Or with people who, although they did not have this good fortune to begin with, learned later--for example, in analysis--to risk the loss of love in order to regain their lost self. They will not be willing to relinquish it again for any price in the world.

  
  
  I highly recommend reading this book, especially since it can be read in its entirety for free online at the link above.
  
  Dave
• 

  Hortensia

  No, I never loved nor could relate to Jehovah. In fact, it added to my guilt and depression that I couldn't even use the name in prayers - and found prayer in general very very difficult. It took a long time for me to realize I couldn't relate to Jehovah, because the truth is I don't believe he exists. I am a lot happier now that I just admit that - I don't believe there is a god, not any sort of god that humans have dreamed up in their own image. No god, in fact.
• 

  nvrgnbk

  No, I never loved nor could relate to Jehovah. In fact, it added to my guilt and depression that I couldn't even use the name in prayers - and found prayer in general very very difficult. It took a long time for me to realize I couldn't relate to Jehovah, because the truth is I don't believe he exists. I am a lot happier now that I just admit that - I don't believe there is a god, not any sort of god that humans have dreamed up in their own image. No god, in fact.

  So tell me Hortensia, what are your thoughts on God?

  Nvr
• 

  zeroday

  I turned away from this evil hateful "God of Love" and am now an atheist. I have never been more at peace with myself in my entire life....
• 

  SacrificialLoon

  I did, aleast in the way the WTBS said, and I still remember the feeling I had the day I was baptized, I thought I could feel Jehovah's love. I remember singing that song that went "god is love, loyal love", and believing it. What a twisted delusion.
• 

  Balsam

  I love the perception and understanding I had of jehovah and jesus. Sadly I was ignorant of the perception the WTS held. I thought there was some difference but I came to realize that their understanding and mine was 100% different. Thus the need to leave the WTS who had not been entirely honest with me right up front.
• 

  Sunspot

  I have a sneaky feeling that I will be like the oddball of the group in my opinion here, and I am too tired to get into any in-depth debates on God right now.....but I also feel that Arthur said it pretty well before I got here:

  The Watchtower's version of Yahweh / Jehovah is a very twisted, pathological portrayal of God. Their version of God is a loving God with a dominant neurotic, fitfull, jealous, and insecure alter-ego. Their God is a projection of their own sick minds.

  I dedicated over 30 years to serving this "God", the Watchtowergod, much like dating and marrying a man who was someone I really didn't know all along. He was like the man that you never knew exactly where you stood with---and you were "in love" with what you THOUGHT HE WAS rather than what he actually WAS.

  The men who run the WTS had made up their own god, kept changing what they said he "required", and changed game rules during the game. It was kind of like playing Theocratic Musical Chairs.....and JWs kept ending up being dumped on the floor for not getting to their seats adeptly and quickly enough. I got VERY tired of the game, especially when I discovered that the others weren't always playing by the same rules that *I* was. Bottom line was----that the game AND the religion is a farce and nothing like the REAL JESUS I have since found was right there waiting....all along.