My Story (in detail)

by KW13 12 Replies latest jw friends

  • KW13
    KW13

    Its sometimes hard for us ex-dubs to share our stories and even harder for those who can't leave the organization and need to vent. I would encourage all those with a story to tell to do so, i'd really enjoy reading it as i do already read the stories you all shared.

    I grew up without my dad and almost without my mum since she was always out drinking or doing something else. We've been homeless and without money, for years no one in the family had a telephone and my dad offered the sum total of £1.50 a week in Child Support before running away to American for a few years, abandoning his responsibilities (which he successfully evaded right up to me being too old to need or want his help). I discovered he had suggested my mum have an abortion instead of having me, which i can get over - its when he suggested Megan might do the same that i was really hurt.

    There is a lot of other things i've never mentioned before. I have been subject (once) to sexual abuse from a stranger and much later my Stepfather would hit me, push me around and basically took every opportunity in the name of Jehovah to put me down and make my life a misery. For so long my mum was blinded by love and refused to accept he was guilty and ONLY TONIGHT (my prompt for this) when she told me to not make the same mistakes as her did i see that she is 100% upset that she married such a clown (because me and Megan are talking about getting married VERY SOON before Baby comes).

    Add this with the fact like many of you i went through the cult, and you've got one mess. I can't count the times i sat with a knife to my wrist wanting to end it all. One thing that stopped me was the fact i wouldn't want my mum to find me and be upset and the other reason was that i was too much of a coward to go ahead with it. Around this time i became addicted to Alcohol and got myself kicked out of college for being drunk in lesson.

    Then i found God...again...if you can count the first time. Only when i revealed to Mum i intended to get Confirmed at my Church she kicked me out.

    For a long time i thought i could never love until i met Megan because i don't even feel a real love for my own Mum like you'd expect though i believe there is time left for the both of us to fix that, if only she'd leave that damn organization she's in. One thing i always thought i could never get is a girl that i would love and a child of my own. At the moment i've got both.

  • bernadette
    bernadette

    Hi KW

    You have had a tough time but I am so glad that you have found meaning and purpose in your life

    love

    bernadette

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    I am happy to hear that you decided to keep trying until you found your measure of happiness with Megan.
    Keep trying. Great story.

    Your dad suggesting abortion- while I feel that this is a moral issue, I understand that a vast number of
    people do not view this as a moral issue. Don't judge the person by their feelings on that. Dad never
    knew you when he wanted you aborted, and he didn't want you to be forced into the type of misery he
    felt by being forced to raise a child he didn't want. Sure, that sounds bad, but just try to understand why
    he says such things, then dismiss careless remarks. While you have ligitimate gripes with Dad on other
    issues, it's good to see that he is in your life, no matter how minimal.

    Your mother admitting her huge mistake- that's very helpful to your relationship with Mom. Forget the
    stepdad, who needs him. Have a good relationship with Mom and don't talk about WTS unless she brings
    it up. She may come out in time.

  • Pubsinger
    Pubsinger

    Wow. Amazing story.

    Are you really just 18?

  • fullofdoubtnow
    fullofdoubtnow

    Great story KW13, thanks for sharing

    I am so glad that you have found happiness now, you deserve it

    love to you and Megan

    Linda

  • chelleadam
    chelleadam

    I'm so glad that you've found meaning in your life and happiness. Many people never find those, either they live their whole life miserable, or they actually do commit suicide. You should count your lucky stars to have come this far. Congratulations.

  • KW13
    KW13

    Hi KW

    You have had a tough time but I am so glad that you have found meaning and purpose in your life

    love

    bernadette

    thank you

    I am happy to hear that you decided to keep trying until you found your measure of happiness with Megan.
    Keep trying. Great story.

    Your dad suggesting abortion- while I feel that this is a moral issue, I understand that a vast number of
    people do not view this as a moral issue. Don't judge the person by their feelings on that. Dad never
    knew you when he wanted you aborted, and he didn't want you to be forced into the type of misery he
    felt by being forced to raise a child he didn't want. Sure, that sounds bad, but just try to understand why
    he says such things, then dismiss careless remarks. While you have ligitimate gripes with Dad on other
    issues, it's good to see that he is in your life, no matter how minimal.

    Your mother admitting her huge mistake- that's very helpful to your relationship with Mom. Forget the
    stepdad, who needs him. Have a good relationship with Mom and don't talk about WTS unless she brings
    it up. She may come out in time.

    Very good advice which i will certainly take on board. Thank you also.

    Wow. Amazing story.

    Are you really just 18?

    I am indeed

    Great story KW13, thanks for sharing

    I am so glad that you have found happiness now, you deserve it

    love to you and Megan

    Linda

    No problem, hope your feeling alright (sending love to megan as we speak).

    I'm so glad that you've found meaning in your life and happiness. Many people never find those, either they live their whole life miserable, or they actually do commit suicide. You should count your lucky stars to have come this far. Congratulations.

    Your right - i should be grateful and i am!

  • free2think
    free2think

    KW I think you're an amazing individual. For a lot of people to have any one of those bad things happen to them would be hard enough to deal with without losing it. I think you're gonna make a fantastic husband and dad . Thank you for sharing your story. And please sat congrats to Megan too.

  • Quandry
    Quandry

    Thank you for your story. I hope you feel lighter after sharing it.

    Please have goals in mind, since you are just 18. Look forward and keep going in that direction. Maybe get the education that you did not get previously. Have confidence in yourself that you can accomplish great things if you put your mind to it.

    Always treat your family as though they are a precious gift--because they are. Tell your child each day that you are glad he/she is here, that you always dreamed of having a child like him/her, and how proud you are of her/him.

    You have been through bad times, but this will make you a sympathetic understanding person. You will make a great parent.

  • Mary
    Mary

    Hey sweetie.....yes it sounds like you've had a really rough go of it and no male role model for you to give you guidance in life. I'm glad you've got Megan----she sounds like a wonderful girl and I hope you guys will be happy. Me thinks you will be. Having a baby will be a life-changing experience for you, but you sound so happy and excited at becoming a dad, that I know you'll do just fine.

    I can't remember what church you said you were getting confirmed in, but I listen to Dr. James Dobson's Focus on theFamily on the radio in the mornings. He's a Child Psychologist and a Christian and the broadcast really has some excellent advise on there. Here's the link if you're interested: http://www.family.org/

    Mary

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