Love is the key to everyones pain! A caring love you can see in a persons eyes and in how they relate and look out for how you're feeling. That kind of love can move mountains in forgiveness and understanding, but only when it's both ways. If you've found that then I'm so pleased for you and your marriage. Funnily enough I know a few people who love each other and have been together for years without the ceremony. To me they have all they need in this life. Anything else is a bonus!
My mum isn't a JW but never in my life have we been able to have a realstic conversation. I've always tried, so many times it hurts, but it isn't gonna happen. I'm mid 40s and shes in her 60s now. People due to the permutation of their life events, end up with brains that think and hearts that feel so differently to each other. As we know, if they're in your family the hurt is deep and lasts. Add to that my JW years and ....forget it!
Hope you n your mum get to a better position but meantime...
Have fun with your child and bride, which I'm sure you will. Love life and it loves you back!