by journey-on 33 Replies latest jw friends
For me..........I made a public decoration of becoming a JW.......So since it was a public display going in........... I choose to make it a public display going out.............
I have no problem with faders.
Each person must decide what is best for them.
Blessings to all
Namaste New Boy
I just wanted to be left the hell alone. I didn't want them coming by and bugging me. I just sent them a letter saying "I no longer want to be one of Jehovah's Witnesses". I didn't have any family in the religion until 18 years later. . .
One more thing, I had never heard of "fading".
I wished I'd faded, but back in the 1980s I'd never thought of the idea before. Besides, the local elders made it clear to me that they were very "concerned" about what I was doing with my life now that I stopped attending meetings. I felt constantly harrassed but too mixed up to do anything more assertive than write a letter of disassociation.
I DA'd but Mr.Panda faded after that, which was fine with me. What amazed me was that 5 other people left right after I did, so maybe DAing gives others the extra nerve they need. PLUS I really wanted to let at least a few people know exactly why I was leaving.
Years ago, before Ray Franz left Brooklyn, you could DA and you weren't treated like a pariah.
because fading doesnt work....or more accurately it does for a short period of time. I faded successfully for about 4 years and they caught up to me and D\F in the end anyway.
I da'd because I wanted to be totally free of the cult. I didn't want the elders calling on me to see why I was missing meetings, so I wrote a simple letter requesting no further visits from them.
I also didn't want even the slightest connection with an organisation that shields paedophiles.
One more thing, I had never heard of "fading".
I never heard of it either till I started reading posts on JWD. I didn't know that's what I had done. I just thought I laid low and played it cool till I was off their radar and they just didn't concern themselves with me anymore.
Fading has been relatively easy for me, because I moved at the same time. That dosen't mean a fader is ever truly, "out the woods", though. I would have d/a'd if I did not have that luxury. Now I just feel, if they df me, so freakin' what!
j
Each of us makes the decision to fade or not to fade based upon the situation and circumstances at the time.
There are pros and cons to each, and it is really hard to say what the right choice is since there are so many variables. I know that my in-laws really hate the fact that we are fading, wishing we would just make whatever decision we have 'official' so that there doesn't have to be this strange feeling hanging over our relationship. Of course I think that reasoning is totally foolish and ignorant of what actually the JWs are like but to active ones it sure makes sense.
