YOUR DAILY JOURNAL (page 97)

summer

Dear Diary...

Woke up to a foggy morning after a rainy night. Sitting at the computer with my morning coffee, the best of the day:-)

Following JWD has been interesting in the past few days, to say the least. Lots of heated discussions. Posters were deleted. Posters chose to leave. Then out of the blue, Purplesofa left on a jet plane. And SPAZnik made me smile as he/she wrote "Gone crazy...back in a bit" and never returned. Wherever you are SPAZnik, hope all is well with you my fellow Canadian:-)

Heard an oldie yesterday...love the oldies station. For whatever reason, this song is etched on my brain and keeps repeating itself..."Goodbye cruel world, I'm off to join the circus"

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"Goodbye cruel world, I'm off to join the circus"

Sounds like a plan!

Thanks, *summer*!

CoCo

twiggy

I lurk. First post. . However, after reading your statement, that I totally agree with, I had to respond. "God is good, and makes a way for us to turn some pretty brutal lemons into some nice cool Country Time Lemonade."

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Welcome, Twiggy!

We look forward to hearing more from you. Given your comments, we should be able to set up lemonade stands all about town!

Thanks for posting.

CoCo

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Having a baby doesn't make you a loving and selfless mother automatically. Mom had her hang-ups before we were born, Sis. I think she took out all her frustrations and anger on us because she was so mad at life and the hand she was dealt. No one in Dad's family respected her though she sure as hell tried to win Grandma's approval. Since her own mother had died when she was only four, Mom needed a surrogate female parent to guide her through those early years raising us. She had no idea what she was doing. Despite the distance Grandma put between herself and Mom, Grandma wasn't evil and conniving. She didn't hate Mom - just didn't know how to deal with her crazy daughter-in-law.

So here we are: Mom was screwed up early-on, but you know as well as I do how much she loves us. I know - you're gonna say, "Well, if she really loves us, she sure has a funny way of showing it!" Guess what, Sadie Lee - Mom wasn't ready to take on the responsibility of a brood of kids. Even those times she took off and we had no idea where she was, she never really abandoned us. No - not really. She returned sorrowful and her tail between her legs after she got her head back on straight. She hated herself but loved us so desperately.

It's no wonder we question our ability to be good mothers, if and when that day should come ...

Thanks, FHN, for the inspiration ...

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Mondays do have a certain notoriety about them. They wouldn't win any popularity contests, particularly when pitted against the weekly and wildly celebrated declaration TGIF. The unpleasant association between its being the start of a new week and everything going wrong that possibly can go wrong may be deserved. Nevertheless, the smoke has cleared - at least momentarily - and the woodside trails beckon my brisk and resolute treads. Today I can take a hike and not become winded because of burning lungs.

It's been sung that rainy days and Mondays always get me down. There's not a hint of rain on the horizon (it would be nice, however), but even if there were, this Monday morning has everything to recommend it as the precursor of a good week.

We've only just begun ...

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I was wrong: the sky is blue only overhead.

When I commenced my saunter, I looked about me and glimpsed the foothills masked in a dull gray haze; nothing, really, has changed. I chugged on in spite of the noxious vapors surrounding and insinuating themselves into my person. A neighbor lady, with whom I engaged in the most halting and gasping of dialogues, concurred that she, too, had thought the smoke vanished.

Apparently, a true picture is not ascertained by peering skyward only.

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Heart of Darkness

Joseph Conrad

In the novel, Conrad uses the river as the vehicle for Marlow to journey further into the "heart of darkness." The descriptions of the river, particularly its depiction as a snake, reveal its symbolic qualities. The river "resembl[es] an immense snake uncoiled" and "it fascinates [Marlow] as a snake would a bird." Not only is Marlow captivated by the river, representing as it does the jungle itself, but its association with a snake gives this "fascination of the abomination" its metaphorical characteristics. The statement that "the snake had charmed me" alludes to both the idea of snake charmer and the snake in the story of Genesis. While typically, a snake charmer would charm the snake, in this case, Marlow is charmed by the snake, a reversal which puts the power in the hands of the river, and thus the jungle wilderness. Furthermore, the allusion to the snake of temptation from the story of Adam and Eve demonstrates how the wilderness itself contains the knowledge of good and evil, and upon entering that wilderness Marlow will be able to see, or at least explore, the characteristics of humanity as well as good and evil.

Throughout the novel Conrad dramatizes a tension in Marlow between the restraint of civilization and the savagery of barbarism. The darkness and amorality which Kurtz exemplifies is argued to be the reality of the human condition, upon which illusory moral structures are draped by civilization. Marlow's confrontation with Kurtz presents him with a 'choice of nightmares' - to commit himself to the savagery of the human condition, or to the lie and veneer of civilized restraint. Though Marlow 'cannot abide a lie' and subsequently cannot perceive civilization as anything but a veneer hiding the savage reality of the human condition, he is also horrified by the darkness of Kurtz he sees in his own heart. After emerging from this experience, his Buddha-like pose aboard the Nellie symbolizes a suspension between this choice of nightmares.

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YOUR DAILY JOURNAL

And how has your day been?

Currently I journey through desert dreamfields,

La musique de mon esprit and the hearts of space.

www.hos.com

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The day is technically over and I have put the five hens I'm caring for to bed. They seem to know when it's time to roost. I, on the other hand, do not.

The time spent today with accompaniment of blue skies (at long last) has been profitable and I do not want to go to bed. I'm listening to "Mica" on the album STRATA, by Robert Rich and Steve Roach. The musical language is not so inscrutable that we cannot move forward comfortably into new and tantalizing soundscapes. Terra cognita. Somewhat.

I hope your day has gone well ...

CC

YOUR DAILY JOURNAL

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