Is dffing really doing the person a favor? It removes the disfunctional and the cultists from your life in one clean sweep. It forces you to stand on your own feet. A worthy thought, or a brain fart?
S
Dffing, a favor?
by Satanus 15 Replies latest jw friends
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purplesofa
As long as a person still believes it is the truth, I think DFing for them is pure torture.
purps
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Madame Quixote
P.O.V. makes such a diff, doesn't it? I find it to be quite a favor, but it took me at least 20 years to accept it as such (and a little help from my friends at Gallo, Jack Daniels, and Alcoholics Are Not Anonymous) to do so!
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Satanus
It doesn't work the same for everybody. It's been 11 yrs since they dffed me. I've made progress in the issues of my life. If i had stayed in there w those people and my family, they would probably have kept me from doing that. 'The world' has a lot more potential to make a person grow than does the wt cult.
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OnTheWayOut
Purps makes a good point. Otherwise, DF'ing probably does help some people to move on.
The problem is in the isolation from loved ones. If a DF'ed person can move on from that,
then they were possibly done a huge favor.I avoid DA and DF for only the sake of my mother, and to a lesser degree, my wife.
According to the WTS marital arrangement, my wife would still have to be fairly normal with
me, so the lesser degree. My mother would probably not shun me, but if she did, there would
be some turmoil. Her husband would see the ridiculousness of the shunning and his
reactions would be viewed as "persecution" by my mother. That's why I fade. If I were DF'ed,
I would simply move on, enjoying the freedom, but I would miss my mother if she was
obedient. -
sass_my_frass
It turned out to be a real favour for me, and it didn't take long to realise that. I didn't believe it was the truth, I just didn't know that at the time so I submitted to the JC experience. When I took the blinders off I realised that the people I loved and had lost through the disfellowshipping, were pretty bad for me all around. It's not easy to say something like that about siblings and parents, but I can see conditional love for what it is now.
I think about the alternative; they could have shown mercy on me and just reproved me, but then my family would have interfered in my engagement and would still be doing so in my marriage. I might have also thought that because they were merciful they really must be holy men and therefore there really must be a god, blah blah. I think I'm far better off for having to be my own person now. If I was still a JW I'd spend my life trying to get the approval of my JW family and friends, and it would be one sad, lousy life, just like it always was.
I don't think I'd have found the strength to face leaving it on my own, if I hadn't been kicked out. I also needed a good incentive to have a real look at what they preach and the kinds of things I was supposed to be selling. If I'd been shown mercy I'd have just kept floating and bluffing and would never have really bothered to face it.
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bernadette
Is dffing really doing the person a favor?
think I'm split 60/40 in favour of being dff'ed in my own case.
Hard to know how one feels when on the receiving end of being ignored. Will have to wait and see. Other than that I can see the advantages whereas if you'd asked me 6 months ago I'd have said I'd want to avoid it all costs.
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Dismembered
Greetings Satanus,
I'd also say that it depends on the individual, and their circumstances. For myself it's been great. Watchtower has no holds on me.
I will strive to try to convince as many as I can, as the opportunities arise, to leave that heinous cult.
Dismembered
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avengers
'The world' has a lot more potential to make a person grow than does the wt cult.
You said it!
When you're within the WT walls all you can breathe are the gasses of the farts from the ol' geriatric Faithfull & Discrete Slave.
Not a nice environment; unless you're a pedo, a psycho or a liar.
Discovery starts when you're out. There's no way in the world you can research from within.
But who the f am I?
Andy of the nobody class.