Dffing, a favor? (page 2)

Narkissos

I found being df'd (and seeing it coming) very painful. And thrilling at the same time.

Understanding how and why it was painful was illuminating too. Through the process I realised, for instance, how much I cared for the esteem of the people I loved. That had to be left behind. But it did hurt a lot.

I watched "my faith" struggling its way, step by step, against what (as I learnt later) Kierkegaard called "religious doubt" -- doubting your own motivations for every act; learning thus that not even faith can be secured -- that being, perhaps, its very essence -- and choosing it anyway rather than somebody else's "truth".

All in all it was very intense. A storm of despair and nonsensical joy. And the "clean cut" that df'ng and shunning bring was certainly better to me than the possibility of hanging indefinitely in the outskirts of a slightly more tolerant organisation.

I guess martyrdom beats it but the opportunities are scarce lately.

skeptic1914

I avoid DA and DF for only the sake of my mother, and to a lesser degree, my wife.

Same with me except my Mom died last week. My wife knows I don't believe anymore but my being df'd would be a problem for her because she has a FDS worshipping brother.

Skeptic1914

anewme

It turns out it was a favor of sorts. I think it will have the effect of lengthening my life in the long run.

I tell myself these days when I miss my JW family that, had I stayed in the horrible cult and gone really angry crazy (like I was heading) then I might be in women's prison now. So, yeah, this is much better.

Thanks for asking,

Anewme

Satanus

I can see the tortured feeling for those who continue to believe. Sometimes it's enough to make the jw realise that it's not an org of love. For me, i saw that it was false and was dffed a yr later for apostacy, or something like that. Depending on how much a person has to lose, family especially, it might not be a favor. I have found though, that pain usually accompanies growth/learning. But then, i'm s stubborn, slow learner.

S

Brother Apostate

In the long run, it is a favor.

However, in the short term (months, years, or even decades), for those who have family still in, it is like having your heart torn out.

It all depends on the circumstances, yet time heals all wounds.

BA

jwfacts

It was a HUGE favour. I spent 10 years not really believing and living a lie because I was too afraid to leave. I was d/f after a brother dobbed me in to the elders as an apostate out of spite. 12 months later I felt like sending him an anniversary card thanking him.

Dffing, a favor?