Hi, I am a non-JW married to one. All the advice given so far is absolutely correct. My husband and I married privately, a civil ceremony, and no-one at his hall were told of our marriage. My JW husband would not be married by member of the clergy, or step inside a church.
When I visit the hall, some members rush up afterwards, "we missed you at the meetings", others ignore me. They think I am an "unbeliever". I know this because an elder once (incorrectly) referred to me as one, and my husband says so on occassion. This, even though I am a regular Christian, a Sunday School teacher to a lovely bunch of little girls, and attend my church services regularly.
how will being married to a jw be?
I advise that you do not have children together. The conflicts over how to raise the children will be severe. This advice does not apply to me, as I have already raised my children. All seasonal holidays will be a battle, if you care about them. Weddings and funerals of (non-JW) loved ones will be a battle, if they are housed in a church. Expect her over time to be increasingly rude to your (non-JW) relatives.
is there anyway to get a hold of the actualy mags to show her? cause as you all know..she wont bother reading anything off the net..thinking its work of evil.
Sure, ask her to get you your own copy through her study leader. JW's love to give out their CURRENT publications. Then, if you read blondie's review here every week, you can ask questions ON CURRENT MAGAZINES that your sweetheart is studying.
Another CURRENT book you might ask for her to review with you is called THE SECRET TO FAMILY HAPPINESS. There's a whole section in there on how to live with a spouse who is not a JW (unequally yoked). Before you two tie the knot, it would be very wise for the two of you to read that section together to make sure she is willing to live by those guidelines, and you are comfortable with someone DOING them.
will her being a jw and me not going to the meetings or door to door with her if she plans on doing that eventualy drive us apart?
Very likely so. It is a very difficult path your are following. There must be MUTUAL RESPECT for your differences. You must show constant vigilance, lots of communication, lots of questions. My husband promised to respect my beliefs, but he breaks that promise regularly. Usually shortly after a service where his congregation has been reminded to reject "christendom's" falsehoods. After meetings like that, he comes home a different person, a black look and an evil tongue. I have also had to get used to the times apart as he attends the many meetings a week.
are jw's really aloud to marry non jws? she said yes in the past ..but will she change her mind?
It's a "yes, but..." as you can see from the comments above. Could she change her mind? A real possibility. When my husband told his elders he was thinking of marrying a "non-believer", his study leader was very severe with him, giving him a whole bunch of warning scriptures about not being "unequally yoked". My husband was terrified in to believing that marrying me would put him at risk of the eternal death. He finally decided, after many sleepless nights that he would rather want a short life with me here on earth than an eternity without me. Very sweet.
He's had second thoughts after his mother died. The thought that if he does not remain a good JW he will never see her again eats at him.
