I'm Really Depressed

by onlycurious 17 Replies latest jw friends

  • onlycurious
    onlycurious

    My oldest daughter is a tough one. She is a real sweetie with everyone else but a real kick in the pants at home. Geez, sometimes she knows exactly what buttons to push. We got into it today and I spewed out some real doozies and actually said 'F**k YOU!" You know, I absolutely HATE myself for that. I don't curse on a regular basis but use to have a real potty mouth back in the day and sometimes that ugliness rears it's head. I'm ashamed.

    She screamed at the top of her lungs for me to 'shut up' and I lost it. Not completley, but in my estimation I really failed.

    She has a boulder on her shoulder and tries to act like a toughie around me yet it's so lame. Why does she feel like she can challenge me like that? Is this normal because I feel like I am completely alone. It's not like am going to go around and actually tell people what I said to her today. I feel really bad about it and actually apologized to her for my part of it. I just want to throw in the towel sometimes and start all over. Easier said than done.

    Then to top it off, my husband said he is going to run an ad in the local paper and if he doesn't get a good response in the next 4 wks he's going to tell his dad to sell the business 'yesterday'. He is SICK of this place and working mass hours for not very much pay. He said it's a thankless job and that he is like a loan ranger trying to keep this business going. It's a lot of work here running a resort and we don't get a very good group of people wanting to work here. So, now I am anxious about all the 'what if's' and don't like change much. We are in the midst of building our own home soon and now what.

    Anyway, thanks for 'listening'. I feel like poo on a shoe and have been a bit depressed for a while. Have a lot on my plate and not a lot of support on the homefront. A person can only take so much.

  • purplesofa
    purplesofa

    I can relate.

    huge hugs to you even on the FU part too.Your human and your kids will learn alot about forgiveness. My mother never apologized to me my entire life.

    I can ususally get my daughter to crack up with her bad self trying to be tough. I remind her I know just how NOT tough she is.....she is human too.

    Hang in there,

    purps

  • bernadette
    bernadette

    very sorry about the situation you are in ....... hugs to you (((((((((onlycurious)))))))))

  • cyberdyne systems 101
    cyberdyne systems 101

    Talking about it is the right answer, so thats one good thing. I know how it feels to do or say something in the heat of the moment, it really feels bad, especially when it was directed to your child - someone you love unconditionally. The fact is though, you cant take it back only make amends, in which it sounds like you have. So to learn to let it go is next. There were good reasons you got that heated and are human, make a mistake or two, it happens. The only thing that is wrong is when we dont learn from our mistakes. It's becomes a life lesson for you both, which is no bad thing. There is always some positive view of anything we do, however silly it was at the time.

    I can imagine your worry also with your home and work situation. But again try to find out all that is going on, tell your other half about your concerns. In the end as long as you and your family are healthy and can get by, thats all that matters.

    CS 101

  • trevor
    trevor

    onlycurious

    It seems that you have some changes to make in your life and the lack of respect that you are been shown has caused you to feel a little worthless.

    This does not automatically mean that you are depressed, just that you need to take a good look at your life and identify any negative patterns that you are allowing to spoil your life.

    Ask yourself what you would need to have or to change for you to be happy?

  • Crumpet
    Crumpet
    I can ususally get my daughter to crack up with her bad self trying to be tough. I remind her I know just how NOT tough she is.....she is human too.

    Purps advice is so great. Completely take the piss - take nothing she says between now and 18 seriously when it involves a raised voice. Its not personal. Get through these years and you will be rewarded with a beautiful well rounded lovely daughter. I've seen it happen so many times. Dont let her see you getting annoyed, stressed, upset or anything other than mildly amused as there's nothing worse or more hate inducing than an upset sad pathetic mom to a teenage daughter - its like throwing oil on a fire.

    Its no reflection on you as a mom. Mom's should curse and be human. And anyweay I think all mom's who cope with these difficult years are heroes. I would not have children simply on the basis I really couldnt cope with a sulky teenager around the house - I am enough sulky teenager for any house! ;-)

  • kitten whiskers
    kitten whiskers

    I feel for you. Sincere apology is a wonderful thing from a mother in my opinion. I can only imagine how tough the teen years will be with my kids. It is a tough age and almost like a fight for supremacy!!! (At least remembering back when I was).
    Remember, all little girls want love from their mama. I used to tell my mom to go away when she tried to talk to me. Looking back that saddens me, because she hardly ever wanted to talk like that, and when she did I was going to make her work for it. She always took me at my word and left me alone. I just wanted her to fight for me. To really show she was going to care and not let me stop her love. Stupid teenage thinking.
    She is testing you probably. Be sweet and hopefully it will crack her hard shell!!!! Hugs to you, and congratulations on loving her so much! I hope she sees that and cherishes it.
    Kitten Whiskers

  • free2think
    free2think

    (((((((((((onlycurious))))))))))

    I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time, hugs.

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Dear Only,

    Yes, it sure seems you have alot on your plate - domestic issues, business difficulties, a new home in the offing. Whether it's a mom and her daughters or a dad and his sons, it still amounts to a struggle just to make it through the day. If it's any consolation, kids do grow up and apologize! Just don't give up. You got some good advice, and Crumpet and Purps - your knowledgeable "sisters" in understanding - hit quite a few nails on the head. I hope things lighten up for you.
    Stay tuned as your friends on JWD offer you more support through the day............

    Love and peace,

    CoCo

  • UnConfused
    UnConfused

    Don't you hate complicating tough issues with personal failings? It kills me, it really does. Hang in there.

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