the fact that I'm just a "fader", means I'll never really be free!
No it doesn't. You're on the path to freedom. One day you will suddenly know you are free. You eventually realize there is nothing they can do to you, no power they hold over you. In the meantime, fading is something you do while you develop new interests and make new friends. Then when you get to the point when you don't care what they do, or don't do, you've arrived.
Remember when you first "came in the truth?" You couldn't grasp or get past some dub doctrine and the person "studying with you" said, "Just keep reading and learning, you'll understand it eventually"? Well, the way out of dubdom is on exactly the same road, only in the other direction.
Keep reading, keep learning, keep "studying" from your new 20-20 perspective. One day you'll wake up and be a non-dub.