Let the children listen to JW family members preach to them or shield them?

by FreedomFrog 19 Replies latest jw friends

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  FreedomFrog

  I thought I'd start a new thread since my other thread was leading into a different topic. Hopefully I can get many different views on this.

  I understand the concern not allowing children to be preach to by JW family members. My concern with shielding kids from it is that later on they get curious and fall into the trap? If we allow them to be exposed to it now and teach them how it can be detrimental to their well being, maybe they will keep their eyes and ears open to tricks and mind controlling situations? My son is already picking up on manipulative ways commercials have because of some things that have happened as the result of seeing lies in the JW org.

  Would I allow my kids experience drugs? No way!...but then again, I would tell them about it, allow them to research on it and tell them what it can do to them. My gut feeling for kids dealing with JW family members is about the same thing. I would let them research it, talk about it but I would not allow them to go to the meetings. I wouldn't allow them to have a weekly bible study. I (at this moment) feel that I'd do them more harm putting a condition on my JW family members to not preach to them. By shielding them from this, wouldn't that back fire in the long run? Wouldn't they become more curious since they weren't allowed to talk about it with grandma and grandpa?

  What's your thoughts?

  ~Froggie~
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  BFD

  Your post has really made me step back and think. My view on this had always been a hard NO WAY. But, you bring up a load of good points. I don't have kids of my own but I do have a niece and nephew (that Grandama Coocoo babysits) and I have been harsh in my warnings to my baby sister with regard to this topic. She usually just backs off and changes the subject (wonder where she gets that). I know GC has been planting seeds in these kids since they were infants and it scares me.

  But you know what is said about "forbidden fruit". Hmmmmmmm.

  I think I need to call my sister and apologize.

  Thanks,

  BFD
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  OnTheWayOut

  I would let them research it, talk about it but I would not allow them to go to the meetings. I wouldn't allow them to
  have a weekly bible study. I (at this moment) feel that I'd do them more harm putting a condition on my JW family
  members to not preach to them.

  I fully agree. Family doesn't take them to the Hall, no study with family. Stop the conditions there. If you
  tell them not to talk about the religion, they will anyway. Better to let them talk, discuss what was said with
  your kids, and help them to examine why that's wrong.

  The problem with doing this after meetings is that it gives the doctrine time to make sense to them. The drone
  teaching it believes it, so he might be convincing even if you prepare and debrief them.
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  restrangled

  I (at this moment) feel that I'd do them more harm putting a condition on my JW family members to not preach to them.

  What are the JW family members going to preach to them about??? What a great guy you are? Sooner or later it will get around to how you are a poor father for not being a JW and being the spiritual head of the family.

  By shielding them from this, wouldn't that back fire in the long run?

  Not unless you lock them in a closet 12 hours a day and becoming a JW looks good in comparison.

  Wouldn't they become more curious since they weren't allowed to talk about it with grandma and grandpa?

  No...you can teach them what they need to know without letting others pollute their minds with the WTS nonsense.

  r's hubby
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  FreedomFrog

  r's hubby, I understand where you're coming from but if family members start trashing the parents name, wouldn't the child see the parent in action? It's like a divorce couple, if one parent bad mouths the other, eventually the child will grow up resenting the parent that was doing the bad mouthing, or in most cases. As much time most children spend with there JW family, it would give them a chance to see how much love is lacking in those types of religions.

  By "shielding" them, I am talking about making rules as to what JW family members are allowed to talk about or not. My feelings are, if a person is so concerned of losing their children to these controlling groups, then maybe as parents we should be more conscience on our end. Personally, I'm not too concerned because I have opportunities every day to point out certain controlling aspects in different groups. With non witness children that had non witness parents this may be more of an issue because the parents in this case wouldn't know the "behind the curtains" so to speak. We "ex" JW's know the details of what it was like. We have the upper hand in teaching and warning them with certain groups.

  So far, I still feel that it would be more harm for both the children and the ones that are still trapped in the controls of these groups by making demands on "no teaching". Basically I'm hoping for both, teaching my kids enough so they are aware and cautious and two helping my loved ones out as well. If I put that restraint on my JW family, this will only push them further...wouldn't it?
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  AlmostAtheist

  >>No...you can teach them what they need to know without letting others pollute their minds with the WTS nonsense.

  The trouble with that approach in my opinion is you become responsible for shielding them from EVERY nonsensical teaching. The Watchtower has no monopoly on stupid, life-wasting crap. If we keep our children from even hearing the JW stuff, will we also keep them from going over to their friend's house at school whose parents are pentecostals? Better to prep them for all the whack-jobs they'll meet in life, then they are ready for JW's and anyone else.

  I think good points are raised on both sides of this issue. But I lean pretty heavily toward inoculation, rather than quarantine.

  Dave
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  ringo5

  I think good points are raised on both sides of this issue. But I lean pretty heavily toward inoculation, rather than quarantine.

  Good way of stating your point, Dave.

  I am with you on this point as well. My daughter is almost 4 and still has contact with JW's sometimes. I have one or two dub friends and more family, and feel it would be impossible to isolate her from their silly ideas, as well as all other religious ones, including the god delusion (thanks Mr Dawkins).

  She does understand the idea of pretend though, as she likes playing ghost from time to time, so I have simply explained that some adults like to play pretend too, including pretending a big invisible man in the sky does things now and then to help them out. She seems to understand this, as she loves to play pretend games. :)
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  restrangled

  r's hubby, I understand where you're coming from but if family members start trashing the parents name, wouldn't the child see the parent in action? It's like a divorce couple, if one parent bad mouths the other, eventually the child will grow up resenting the parent that was doing the bad mouthing, or in most cases. As much time most children spend with there JW family, it would give them a chance to see how much love is lacking in those types of religions.

  FF....I base my opinion on raising two children in close proximity to their lifelong JW grandmother who used their natural affection for her to try and manipulate their thinking. In my experience a zealous JW will stop at nothing to accomplish their goal of conversion. I started out thinking like you....I ended up realizing that their relative was more interested in converting them than being their relative. If you can make it work, then my hat is off to you.

  I think that having your kids exposed to "normal" thinking is better than exposing them to abnormal thinking in the hopes that they will appreciate "normal" thinking. In the end if the relatives aren't primarily interested in the relationship with the kid other than to convert them, then what is the point of exposing them at all? A brutal truth learned the hard way.

  r's hubby
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  ex-nj-jw

  I think you should keep them away from JW family members.

  My mother totally turned my oldest son away from me and my husband, in the name of Jehova!!!!

  Because we weren't raising him in the truth lie, we were bad parents, we were abusing him, because of us he was gonna die at the big A. She did a wonderfull job of screwing up my child, even though I did not allow her to take him to meetings, or bible study with him. She found a way to do it behind my back.

  So keep your children away from them, talk to them about the religion. You can tell them all they need to know without it putting them in a dangerous, life altering cult!

  IMHO

  nj
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  ex-nj-jw

  I base my opinion on raising two children in close proximity to their lifelong JW grandmother who used their natural affection for her to try and manipulate their thinking. In my experience a zealous JW will stop at nothing to accomplish their goal of conversion. I started out thinking like you....I ended up realizing that their relative was more interested in converting them than being their relative

  I agree with r'shubby!!!

  My son is such a screwed up person right now! He is the master manipulator and he learned this first hand from grandma!! He saw the parents we were, he saw that we were hard working, pushed education, good morals, we did'nt do drugs, drank occasionally but not in excess, blah, blah, blah.

  My mother even sent social services to our home to investigate, of course they turned my family upside down and inside out and found no grounds for the charge, but imagine the trauma on my younger kids!!! to have people come in your home, undress you looking for signs of abuse, checking your living conditions it was horrible. And they didn't care about the younger two, for some reason it was only the oldest, singled him out!!! It could have been worse, they could have removed all of my kids and asked questions later!!!

  He eventually went to live with them, and as soon as he no longer wanted to go to the meetings, they sent him back to me!! Screwed up, out of control, manipulative. Now he's back in their area, not working, not going to school, recently tried to attempt suicide, on street drugs as well and prescription narcotics, blah, blah, blah.....

  I successfully kept the other two away from them, only supervised visits and they turned out fine!!

  nj