Let the children listen to JW family members preach to them or shield them? (page 2)

dedpoet

In the end if the relatives aren't primarily interested in the relationship with the kid other than to convert them, then what is the point of exposing them at all

I agree with r's husbamd here.

However your jw relatives conduct themselves around your kids, their ultimate objective will be to try and make them into jws. It's no point asking them not to preach, they feel obliged to do so. From their perspective, they are delivering a life saving message.

Obviously, unless you stop your jw relatives from seeing your kids altogether, you can't completely prevent them from giving a witness, but I would certainly ban them from leaving any literature around.

Bumble Bee

It depends on what they are going to be talking to the children about, and what your views/feelings on religion, God, or a Creator, heaven, afterlife etc.

Most JW's will use guilt - you know the whole not making it into the "new system" if you don't attend meetings etc. If this is the path they are going to take - keep them away from your children!! They don't need the guilt associated with this. If it's more along the lines of God/Creator - etc, it may be ok, depending on your beliefs, and what you are teaching your children. You may have to set up some ground rules as to what is acceptable and not acceptable to discuss with them.

My grandfather liked to drone on and on about all things in the bible. The daily text turned out to be a half day assembly!!!! UGH!! It totally served to turn me off at an early age!! I think that's why I never really fully committed myself as a JW - learned to dislike it all at such a young age because of him.

BB

dedpoet

double post

ex-nj-jw

I base my opinion on raising two children in close proximity to their lifelong JW grandmother who used their natural affection for her to try and manipulate their thinking. In my experience a zealous JW will stop at nothing to accomplish their goal of conversion. I started out thinking like you....I ended up realizing that their relative was more interested in converting them than being their relative

I agree with r'shubby!!!

My son is such a screwed up person right now! He is the master manipulator and he learned this first hand from grandma!! He saw the parents we were, he saw that we were hard working, pushed education, good morals, we did'nt do drugs, drank occasionally but not in excess, blah, blah, blah.

My mother even sent social services to our home to investigate, of course they turned my family upside down and inside out and found no grounds for the charge, but imagine the trauma on my younger kids!!! to have people come in your home, undress you looking for signs of abuse, checking your living conditions it was horrible. And they didn't care about the younger two, for some reason it was only the oldest, singled him out!!! It could have been worse, they could have removed all of my kids and asked questions later!!!

He eventually went to live with them, and as soon as he no longer wanted to go to the meetings, they sent him back to me!! Screwed up, out of control, manipulative. Now he's back in their area, not working, not going to school, recently tried to attempt suicide, on street drugs as well and prescription narcotics, blah, blah, blah.....

I successfully kept the other two away from them, only supervised visits and they turned out fine!!

nj

LeslieV

Please learn from my life!!!!!!!!!!!!! My parents walked away from the JW religion when I was four. They also felt like you that they wanted to have their children have a relationship with their family. All my family are JW's. When you say that your children will be exposed to JW's anyways.....it is very, very different when it is your grandparents. You have a bond with them, you love them, they have much more influence then any other JW that might come into their young lives.

Well they preached to me all the time. Made me question my parents decision to leave. They didn't come right out and say my parents were bad, it was more insidious then that. So I joined, and lost my parents due to the fact they were not JW's. PLEASE re-think how you thinking. It is just like telling your kids...go ahead try alittle drugs to see if you are affected. Alittle preaching is JUST AS HARMFUL.

Leslie

carla

I see your point but I also read of the heartaches the relatives have caused. Why allow them to mess with a young childs mind? Unless the child is able to defend himself now with anti witness knowledge I would not let the jw relative alone with the child ever. In my family it has been found out that my jw has tried to convert some of the children and manipulated situations so he could be alone with them. How dishonest is that? Yes the child can see the wacky jw life but if they don't have a solid base in the bible themselves how will they answer a jw? Everything makes sense if you have no idea about the subject. As you are well aware there are adults who have a difficult time defending their faith to a jw. Not because their faith is lacking but because they don't understand the language difference in jw's and the foundational beliefs of jw's to begin with.

My relatives do not leave their kids alone with my jw ever. He doesn't realise it of course but it is an unspoken rule now if anybody sees him alone with a child for any amount of time an adult goes to join them. The older kids have seen the damage and change in their uncle but the little kids are innocent and don't have a clue, why subject to them to something so damaging? Why plant the seed that their parents are evil and going to die for not loving and using a made up word for God? That is a fear powerful enough to make adults stay in the cult, I can't imagine the psychological damage it does to the mind of a young child.

I say, first educate them on the falshoods the wt spouts and the evils of the org including the pedophile issue, broken families, the treatment of non members, flip flops, scandals, show them pics of the kids who died on the altar of the wt, etc... then when they are older they will be albe to defend why they will not joing this damaging and deadly cult. There is no reason not to remind them of how your own parents showed such conditional love to you and your family when you left, it is not bad mouthing, simply stating a fact.

We can love our families even when they act unloving themselves. Their own behavior need not be hidden to protect them, they can be life lessons for our children. On the other hand we can and should set our own boundries when family becomes toxic to ourselves and threaten our own families.

daystar

What's your thoughts?

I think you have it pretty well handled.

It's hard to resist protecting a child from every scratch, every hurt, they may face. It's better to teach them how to deal with the hurt, the challenges, on their own, with open eyes.

Madame Quixote

It depends on the age of the child and the well-being of the adults involved. My experience has shown that many JWs are not well-adjusted, although they can fool you, even ones you've known for years.

If the JWs in question might be mentally or physically abusive to your kids, you should never leave them alone with them.

I made that mistake because when my daughter was very young, I felt and thought that my parents would make better grandparents than parents, and in some ways they did; however, abusive and nasty situations arose gradually as my daughter got older.

I also came to understand a few things about the dynamics of the overall situation that I did not fully see until the enmeshment was almost full-blown.

Use care when dealing with deluded people; cult-members are usually pretty deluded.

Pioneer Spit...oh, i mean Spirit

I'm with you on the comparo to drug use - teach them about the danger, show them what you can show them. But I'd stop a drug dealer from speaking to my child just as quickly as I would silence a Hoho doing the same, they can both destroy your family.

OUTLAW

Children are just that!..They are "Children"!..Do you want them interacting with the insane???..Do you you want them to think,insane is normal???...Never let a Pro-JW near your Children to Preach!..If a Pro-JW had any morales,they would not prey on children!..If JW`s had any morales,they would wait untill the Child was an Adult,to preach to them.......WBT$ has no morales.The cattle that they herd(Jehovah`s Witness`s),do not understand morales.....Do not let an insane Organization(WBT$)..Or..Thier trained"Adult Retards"(Jehovah`s Witness`s) near your children...OUTLAW

Let the children listen to JW family members preach to them or shield them?

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