Ok here is my problem.........

by fifi40 24 Replies latest jw friends

  • I Know what I like, and I like what I know
    I Know what I like, and I like what I know

    My 13 year old son lives with me. A few weeks ago when two elders came to visit me, I let him stay.

    So he heard me talking respectfull to the elders, telling them about the questions that are bothering me. So he was there when the elders couldn't answer my questions. He was there when the elders were saying: just have faith...etc...

    At least twice a week, we go walking in the fields in the evening and talk about life and about what's on his mind etc. In this way I am building up a relation with him.

    I think the combination of telling him to always think for himself ( or learn to ) and giving him the freedom to meet with friends and do all the "normal" things kids do at his age, will make him see the "truth". He's a wunderfull son and I am proud!

    I don't think he will ever be a JW.

    I know

  • trevor
    trevor
    so I used to think at least he will get saved at Armageddon (Sad I know).

    This suggests a certain compliance on your part. A sort of turning a blind eye as an insurance policy.

    You need to be absolutely clear in your own mind about your beliefs and the unconscious forces that motivate you, before you can help your son.

  • fifi40
    fifi40

    Thank you all for your words of wisdom.........................

    Well I started this very lunchtime...................I was taking him to his (worldly) friends house and I asked him if he had ever considered baptism and he answered "Yes and why?" with a coy sort of smile..............I did say we rarely talk about such matters.................anyway I said that I would not be keen on him getting baptised at an early age as I want him to be sure of matters for himself and to have checked things out for himself........I also asked him if his dad ever mentioned baptism to him and his answer was "No not really"..........so I have done the dastardly and opened that line of communication with him. It was only a brief conversation in a car journey of 10 minutes but it is a start. I know if he mentions it to his dad I am up for some serious dispute........but that is a encounter I am not to worried about.

    I showed my (total non believer) husband this thread this morning and we had quite a discussion about it. He made me laugh, although he wouldnt adopt this tack, he said he would quite happily sit down for 4 days with him and convince him what bullshit the JW teachings are.....

    Anyway thank you for the advice, the recommendations for for various reading material (books and other posters useful threads) and generally all of the support and wise words (even the firm ones Lovedubs).........

    And Trevor I already said I was compliant in his attending meetings, it is as I have learnt more about the JW teachings and the falseness of them that I have become aware of the problems and potential problems for my son and our relationship........Just need to figure out how to steer his course into safe waters without totally alienating him or making him go on the defensive with me..........

    Fortunately we have always had an open and honest relationship and on all matters other than religion we talk freely, so I am going to have to shift things a bit without making him uncomfortable.........

    Thanks for all your help

    Fifi

  • LeslieV
    LeslieV

    Good for you!!!! Just beginning the conversation is the most difficult. Once you open the door it does become easier. Keep us posted..

    Leslie

  • restrangled
    restrangled

    fifi...That is great news!!!

    I showed my (total non believer) husband this thread this morning and we had quite a discussion about it. He made me laugh, although he wouldnt adopt this tack, he said he would quite happily sit down for 4 days with him and convince him what bullshit the JW teachings are.....

    Please don't underestimate the value of a total non believer. He can take some of the pressure off of you if your ex-hubby starts in on you. You can also point to him as the one raising the difficult questions if it becomes an issue. You seem very competent and responsible, but there is no denying that the good cop / bad cop routine can come in handy in a pinch. He can also tell ex-hubby if he ever enters his home again without knocking that he may have to teach him a lesson he will not soon forget.

    r's never been a JW hubby

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