I never understood why it was so EVIL to speak about the person who died at the JW memorial services. I remember when a friend of mine, who was an elder, gave his first memorial talk. I was at his house when the PO came over to offer advice, and he made it SO clear that he was not to mention the deceased person much at all. It was about explaining the hope the person had, with a hope that it would get those in an emotional state of loss, to turn to the religion and become Witnesses to have the same hope. I found it sick, when I saw this done, and everyone knew what was happening in the Kingdom Hall. It was like, we just had no other choice but to follow this example. When the PO died, I went to his memorial and they talked a bunch about him. I would bet he was in there watching in Spirit, saying they were making mistakes, and yet not realizing he was there in Spirit. Anyway, yes, the lamest of all funeral services I have ever seen or experienced, would be the Witnesses approach.
Attended Memorial Service, disgusted...
by Wasanelder Once 30 Replies latest jw experiences
-
-
Guest with Questions
When my dad passed away a few years ago a stern elder did the service (the same elder performed my mothers' wedding-the whole ceremony was all about the woman being the weaker vessel, the man being the head) My oldest brother and I told him our wishes, that we wanted a memorial for our dad and not a sermon. He didn't respect our wishes at all. After we had the people from cong over at my mothers' house. My brothers and I supplied all the food. Luckily we did because no one came with anything.
-
need i remind you
The reason why JWs don't talk too much about the deceased parties is because for two reasons. (1): They don't mourn the deceased because they know that the deceased individual is Jehovah's memory and that they will see their deceased love ones in the resurrection. (2): For them to talk too much about the individual would almost be like "idolatry". This would be one of the reasons why some of the elders quote alot of scriptures so as to let uneducated ones know that there is a resurrection hope. The elders are trying to be careful not to put anybody on a pedestal accept God. Read the book "Reasoning From The Scriptures" on death and mourning. I know that this pains alot of you and I'm sorry that it does. However, these are some of the reasons why the elders do what they do. Sincerely; NIRY
-
95stormfront
That's the lamest pile of bullshit I've ever heard. Jeez...those JWs and old geezers in Brroklyn have nothing better to do that to make mountains out of molehills. It's not idolatry to take a few minutes and respectfully reflect upon the life a person had led and his effects upon people during his service. This is just one more time when the WT wh-organization wants you to step asideso that they can further present their "brand name" to a captive audience.
-
Alligator Wisdom
I recently attended a JW Memorial at a Kingdom Hall and it was standard procedure......up until the end. After the closing prayer, the spouse of the deceased was allowed on stage to give his own heartfelt eulogy. It lasted about 15 minutes. It moved everyone. So touching and appropriate. This is the first time I experienced such as I've been to way too many funerals/memorials.
Perhaps the local body of elders felt that the canned outline was too dry. They did their part of course, but also allowed that particular member of the family to do his part as well. I hope this part will catch on in other congregations.
Alligator Wisdom (aka Brother NOT Exerting Vigorously)
-
undercover
I've been to some JW funerals that were 40 minute infomercials for the religion. It's like the death of a member becomes an excuse to preach.
But, in all fairness, I've been to some JW funerals that were more like real funerals. Usually, the funerals held away from the hall were a little more balanced. The JW faith in the resurrection was still mentioned and that's okay because that's what the deceased believed in.
One of the most memorable funerals, if you can call it that, was the funeral of a young brother killed in a accident. The funeral was held on a hill top in the mountains, one of his favorite things to do...to sit on a hill and take in nature. I didn't know that he was poetic, but he had kept a journal with his thoughts, most of them in poems. At the funeral, his friends took turns reading their favorite poems that he had written. Several people told funny stories about things that they had gotten into with the deceased. I'm usually pretty stoic at funerals...I keep my emotions in check (years of being a JW will do that to ya), but this funeral had everyone, including me, crying and laughing at the same time. Later I realized that this funeral was a true memorial. It honored him, eulogised him and gave us all reason to think about him and the loss of his life...it did not dwell on religious traditions or require people to listen to a sermon.
I have to comment on this:
For them to talk too much about the individual would almost be like "idolatry". This would be one of the reasons why some of the elders quote alot of scriptures so as to let uneducated ones know that there is a resurrection hope. The elders are trying to be careful not to put anybody on a pedestal accept God.
How is it that taking an hour or two, or one whole day even, to honor the life of someone who was a part of our life, to remember him and grieve him for that day...how is that idolatry? If elders are so worried about putting someone on a pedestal over God, then maybe they should just get out of the funeral business then. That whole notion about idolatry and too much honor is bullshit.
-
Bumble Bee
They don't mourn the deceased because they know that the deceased individual is Jehovah's memory and that they will see their deceased love ones in the resurrection.
They don't mourn? I haven't been to any funeral - JW or otherwise where the deceased person is not mourned. Talking about and remembering the times we shared with our loved ones and friends helps with the process of mourning. If your above statement is true - why did God create us with the ability to mourn our dead loved ones? If that was the case there would be no feelings of sadness when someone dies.
BB
-
Missanna
I'm sorry that happend to you. A JW friend of mine commited suicide a couple of years ago. It was very dificult for everyone to be there because the situation was so sad and the husband was going insane with greif and it Pissed the shit out of me that all the people could talk about was if she would be resurrected or not. I was a very zealous witness back then and even with the brainwashed view i had on everything it was bottom line WRONG! Again, i'm sorry for your loss and you have every right to be pissed about it and disgusted.
-
oldflame
Never been to a JW funeral and never will, I will never enter the doors of a kingdumb hell again for no reason !
-
lrkr
I have seen a few euologizing funeral talks in KH's. And I have encouraged families to add different things to the talk to have more of a remembrance tone. But this is all a measure of the reasonableness and indoctrination level of the people involved. Some straight-laced borgites would never stray from the outline (I agree its a very boring, emotionless outline), others give a talk that is memorable for years and really captures the spirit of the person.