Husband forgot our anniversary....again

nsrn

I'm wide awake at 2 a.m., with my mind ruminating on stuff I should leave alone. I wish I could turn it off in the night, when worries spin out of control. Let me list my concerns: this was my 26th wedding anniversary, and my husband forgot it apparently. It's happened before. I had a nice card all ready to give him if he mentioned it, but he didn't. He slept all day, knowing he had promised to help me with some chores today.

Background: things haven't been good in our marriage for a long time, and I have been contemplating a change. My hesitancy has been that he would be so distraught and hurt.....but I feel forgotten and undervalued, again.

Then there are the bit players in our lives--young married daughter dealing with a difficult mother in law; elderly sick parents who need help daily, and my old friend/true love offering a new life,

My hormones are totally screwed up, I have age spots and veins and wrinkles.......and antidepressants and sleep aids.

OKAY, I'm done ranting. Thanks for listening. Sigh........Nancy

Mrs Smith

((((Nancy)))))

You have the right to be happy!! Remember that men are not very good at mind reading. If you want something you have to tell him. It's also easy to see all the faults your husband has if there is a "true love" offering support. You should be talking to your husband about your feelings not a third party.

Kudra

Oh, (((Nancy)))

Our hearts all hurt for you.

Please talk to your husband- but also realize that we only have one life to live here and we need to make ourselves happy and only then can we even makes others happy. Work with him as much as you can -see if he wants to work things out. He sounds as if he is suffering from depression too.

I hope that your "third party" true love is not a pipe dream that will run out on you if you go for it... not to be a downer on it but I want to be realistic, as I am sure you do to.

This story pulls at my heart strings- I hope things get better for you.

...Happy Anniversary! :)

-Kudra

Es

even tho it wasnt a very happy one Happy Anniversary, I guess like the other say have a chat to hubby see what he is feeling he may feel the same way you do but is scarred incase you will get hurt.

all the best

es

DJK

All I can say in support for both of you is communicate. After that, go out for a romantic dinner.

Stealth453

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY.....for what it counts.

Some of us guys aren't really that bad.

nsrn

Thanks to all for the hugs. Communication is not one of our strong points, obviously, and we have some long-standing problems. I posted because I was feeling so blue and alone. Again, thanks friends.

Stealth453

Follow your heart. I did 20 years ago and I now have the best wife/mother/lover/friend (not necessarily in that order) I could have ever wished for.

I wish you happiness, peace and love.

Stealth and Mrs.Stealth

vitty

You can judge your future by your past.......................do you want to spend the next 26 years like the last 26 ????

jgnat

One of my big lessons last year from an Employee Relations course, is "When you see it, say it." That is, if you see someone screw up, mention it to them right away. This prevents misunderstanding and the person is under no illusion that the behavior is acceptable.

I've been putting this phrase in to practice, and it's helped clear up a lot of misunderstanding. Hubby needs to know how close he is to losing it all. I'd tell him how hurt you were that he missed the anniversary. Just so he's not under any illusion.

Husband forgot our anniversary....again

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