Sometimes I feel unwanted

Junction-Guy

Well I dont even know where to begin here, but I will give it a shot. Sometimes I feel really out of the loop in the XJW world. I have tried every way in the world to help people. I have offered my time, my home,my help for various causes, and yet I seldom have any offers. I have offered to testify in court cases. I have offered to get media coverage for people. I have offered to contact legislators, contact child welfare agencies.

I went to New York to demonstrate at Bethel, only to find out that it was cancelled on the last minute. I contacted just about every media outlet in the big apple, not to mention $70 phone calls to Canada.

I have spoken to churches, I have spoken to workmates. I have done everything just short of writing the president.

Im getting down and discouraged, big time.

Does this mean Im giving up? No! Starting this summer I will be spending less time posting on the boards. I will be working on another project, that has lots of potential.

i will be the lone apostate, well not exactly.

I will do this with the help of one other, and when the results pay out I will finally share it with everyone.

I will also spend more time contacting the news media, and less time debating on the boards.

I have alot ahead of me, and I need to go for it with all my gusto.

candidlynuts

i wish you success on your project this summer

everyone feels discouraged at times but you do have something you are looking forward to so try to focus on that.

and dont neglect the boards too much, a good debate is good for the blood pressure lol

Crumpet

I think that our pain is quite individual in some ways and trying to convey that to other people doesnt always work or they resent us for appealing for their sympathy. I think perhaps you are allowing this to take up too much of your time and thought you know It sounds like it is taking over your life in many respects (yes I'm one to talk - being on here all the time), but just dont give over all your energy to something which ultimately may have quite disappointing results!

And of course you are wanted. I think your posts are invariably kind and gentle, which is why I hate to think of you wasting that quality when it could be put to great good in another more positive arenas.

Wishing you well!

Junction-Guy

Thanks Candidlynuts. Im just tired of debating, I want life to be fun again. It's getting harder to stay positive, when all of my efforts and all of my plans get crapped on. I offer help to anyone in need, yet when I need support it's nowhere to be found. I try to come up with new ideas, but the pessismism is bugging me. Nobody wants to try anything new.

Junction-Guy

Thanks Crumpet, I appreciate that. There is so much to this, I cant fully explain it all.

Scully

I don't know if this will make you feel any better, but I've encountered a similar apathy towards supporting a specific goal (not related to JWD, btw). You hear all these comments about how you've got a great idea and that it will make everything so much better and get attention.

Then when push comes to shove and you're in the presentation stage the people who said they would support you are nowhere to be found. You look to them for their support and they give you silence instead. They are afraid of repercussions, and to some extent I can't say that I blame some folks for feeling this way. It's all they've ever known, being shut down for trying to improve their situation.

It's how folks become jaded and decide to just get on with their life, live in the present and for the future and forget about the past. For many of us, we know that we are exJWs, but our ultimate goal is to be ex-exJWs, and stop having that monkey on our backs.

The apathy is a common denominator where ever you go - it isn't just here among exJWs.

It's tough being the lone gunslinger, but I wish you well in your journey.

Junction-Guy

Thanks, well I wont be completely alone. Im just gonna be silent about strategies, and then unveil them when the time comes.

I got to looking through my old threads, I tried to get an activists conference together, and got very few replies. I'm just tired of running against the wind.

As bad as I despise the Watchtower, it just seems like it's hard to make any personal connections with other XJW's, or even try to help.

Perhaps its better off that I venture out in other directions, sometimes negativity can stifle.

Tyrone van leyen

Jg, you are a guy who is led by your heart. You just need a bit of balance in using your head to realize that not everyone has the same goals or personality that would bring your realities, or theirs to fruition. I should be seeing a shrink. I need help too. Why don't I do it? I think many of us have seen too many broken dreams and cries that reached the heavens that were ignored for too long. Perhaps it is fear of further confrontation that some would prefer to let sleeping dogs lie.

I admire your devotion and your courage. It is sad when strong minded people like yourself lose heart. You are not alone my freind. I think your mind is telling you something from your post that you have finally taken to heart. It's not so bad dude. It's just a new paradigm that may in fact lead you to another state in which you will be happier. I feel for you.

I think the most important thing is that you are a genuinely nice fellow in a very troubled world. You will keep giving until there is no energy left for your own affairs unless you listen to that message your subconcious is telling you. Kindness and goodness in this world doesn't get rewarded often enough so just learn to let it roll of your shoulders dude.

If its any consolation Jg when you die even if you don't accomplish what you set out to do you will be remembered for trying but most importantly for the kind soul you are.

When I first came to this board. There was a question about doubts on my life as a witness. You didn't judge me and I thank you for that. You may have touched a few other folks on this board without even realizing it. Whatever happens, I truly wish you the best.

bluebell

all i ever want is to know people are listening to me, but im aware most are too busy to do much more. I personally would never be able to help anyone with anything other than words, i have no time or money to do anything else. my aim in life is to get rid of the chip on my shoulder and try to move on, although i think i need counselling to do that as it is much harder than i thought. the fact you turned up for a demonstration and it had been cancelled must have been really annoying. i'd have been upset too.

Junction-Guy

Really Tyrone?? Thats cool, I didnt realize that. I have tried my best to be the least judgemental. No matter how bad someone had it growing up in the Watchtower, I never tried to doubt them. I always try to give everyone a fair shake.

It just seems like the XJW world is too divided. You have the atheists, the agnostics, the born agains, the Republicans, the Democrats, The gays, The liberals, the conservatives, etc etc etc.

Where you fall on that spectrum seems to be where you will get your support from. If you are in any of those opposite categories, you dont get any help.

I have offered my help to many who have beliefs far different from mine, simply because I believe the Watchtower is a destructive orgnization that needs to be put in its place. I will offer my help wherever and whenever needed.

I have devised many plans in the past several years, and the response has been varied, but something just recent has bothered me, and I normally dont let these things distract me or get me down, but something about this I cant let it go.

I cant explain further, as I dont want to seem like a party pooper.

Sometimes I feel unwanted

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