What can I possibly do..........

by passive suicide 23 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  jgnat

  First of all, I'm going to ask something of you, considering the name you chose for yourself here. Are you considering the ultimate exit? If so, please talk to a professional about it ASAP. One of my biggest fears, visiting a board like this, is that I might witness the passing of a good person. I don't want to, ever. Please let me know what your state of mind is right now.

  At the same time.... It is tearing my wife, and I apart. She wants me to be the spiritual head...

  I am the non-JW half of a mixed marriage. It might be a little easier on me because the society does not expect me to lead, and my husband has no interest in making me submit to anything. They expect me to be pagan, in other words, and tolerate my oddity. That's the biggest insult of it. I'm a regular Christian, fiercly firm in my own beliefs, but they would never acknowledge it.

  Just because you've opened your eyes to the society's betrayal does not necessarily mean your spirituality has evaporated. Do you think you can bring your wife around to do a regular bible study with you? I think first you would have to convince her that you are not a spiritual threat. I don't think you are. You have made it quite clear in this thread that you have no intention of interfering with her faith.

  I've noted lately that the society is pushing greater bible study. I've had it from the horse's mouth at the last assembly. The bible is to be read in context to get the full meaning. This, I think, could be very good for you both. What if you were to read the book of John together, her with her WT materials, you reading the book at face value, and see what comes of it? I think the society purposely avoids the book of John. It's just too darned full of love and forgiveness.

  ..and ask's me how I'll feel when our child is lying beside me dying at Armageddon.

  Guilt trip, and low blow. She should not assume such things, or lay that kind of guilt in your lap. As her spiritual head, I'd gently tell her that such language is inappropriate. After all, who are you, who is she, to sit in the judgement seat, deciding who is deserving?

  I just want to know why, when people leave , I see so much animosity. by both sides.

  Can you think of an easy way to leave the society, ever? Why is it that exiting members must submit themselves to a Judicial Committee or a disassociation letter? Who are the elders that they must know a man's private reasons? I tell you, in any other church, people are free to simply leave.
• 

  RollerDave

  I can read your pain and doubt in your words.

  I know it hurts to think that you may have thrown away a part of your life, almost as if you were so into on online game, so concerned with gaining levels and in-game money that you forgot it was just a game and then woke up to realize that all of your efforts were for nothing, or a dream where you had attained a great prize and woke looking for it on the pillow next to you only to find it does not exist in real life.

  Starting over can seem daunting, but once you begin putting effort into life beyond the smoke and mirrors and building a new foundation on solid earth, the old days will be less painful to recall.

  When you go through pain like these realizations and the changes they will inevitably necessitate, it can feel like you went through it all for nothing, but if you can use your experiences to help others avoid the pitfalls you have found, you can be satisfied that your suffering was not in vain.

  Towards that end, I would be very cagey in what you say to your wife and kids. You may support their 'choice' to be subject to the WT now, but know that the WT will not tolerate any divided loyalty on their part, the WT must have it all.

  If your kids are not baptized, I'd subtly put the brakes on it for the time being. No sense putting them in the position of being shunned if they learn the truth about 'the truth.' They would then be faced with the prospect of having to shun YOU!

  As a spiritual head, perhaps you can lead your family in bible study with a mind to getting the real meaning, if you get my drift.

  There are lots of experiences out there to map out how to rescue your family once you realize you have to. Just don't spook em before you get to that point or you may lose your chance.

  Good luck, bro, my prayers are with you!

  Roller
• 

  Jualsy

  The sad thing is that there is nothing to replace the things you have been able to accept as true through the Witnnesses....with constant reference to the Bible.

  If you have a spiritual need it is so hard to deny it.

  I am just making my way back....baptised in 1974, but I have been AWOL for over two years. It is hard coming back, but I am no longer expecting perfection........the Jews were in an awful state back in the firxt century, but they were still Gods people. I think we should just concentrate on our relationship with Jehovah....expect nothing in these last days from imperfect men....even if their teachings show error, Jehovah does not.

  I don't believe there is anything else that measures up so strongly to the bible, and I need that backing, not the teachings of men.

  Every good wish......don't let things get you down....its a challenge, accept it!!!
• 

  greendawn

  Welcome, there are plenty of web sites on the internet covering every aspect of the JW ideology and history, it's all there, if you do a search you will realise beyond all doubt that this religion far from being the truth is in fact a manipulative, exploitative and ruthless commercial enterprise whose aim is to enrich its owners.

  The fact that the JWs deeply fear a myth like a soon to be armageddon so much and expect to be saved by the money loving Watchtower Society shows how successful they are at deceiving people.
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  jgnat

  The sad thing is that there is nothing to replace the things you have been able to accept as true through the Witnnesses....with constant reference to the Bible. I don't believe there is anything else that measures up so strongly to the bible, and I need that backing, not the teachings of men.

  Oh, jualsy, we have to get you out more. Here's some links to try.

  http://www.24-7prayer.com/cm/

  http://www.gospelcom.net/spiritual_walk/devotionals/

  http://housechurch.org/
• 

  Highlander

  She wants me to be the spiritual head, and ask's me how I'll feel when our child is lying beside me dying at Armageddon.

  Do you really want to be part of a religion that has sick beliefs such as this? Why is it that guilt, fear, mass genocide are the primary motivators behind

  the jehovah's witnesses? It's because they have nothing good to offer so they have to resort to these cult methods of retaining it's membership.

  Fear can be a strong motivator, but will it really make your life better?

  I decided a long time ago that even if the j-dubs were right and that 'jehovah' is to destroy 99 percent of the world since they are not j-dub, then I would rather die while giving

  'the one finger salute' to god. I have more integrity and compassion than that type of god and would much rather die than sell my soul to the devil(jehovah).
• 

  MR. BORN AGAIN

  U R in the right place!!! Hang out and read, read and read some more. U R in the first stage to FREEDOM. The journey can be a bit emotional but it's worth it. I once thought I was alone too, but I found that the folks on this sight have alot of differences but one thing in common...they are some REAL THINKERS!!!!

  Check out the Ray Franz book, Crisis of Conscience...it's mind blowing!!!

  Also check out the site sixscreensofthewatchtower.com...it's alittle spooky but the information will give you some insight until you get that book.

  Stay strong and I pray that all works out for you and your family.
• 

  LeslieV

  Welcome PS...take it one step at a time. Give yourself time for the "truth" to sink in. It took years to be brainwashed...it takes time to wash your brain clean.

  Leslie
• 

  AlmostAtheist

  One thing you can and should do immediately -- reassure your wife that no matter what religion you or she follow, you love her and will remain faithful to her. Explain in excruciating detail that you married HER and your vows are to HER.

  The reason I say this is she is almost assuredly worried that 'leaving the Watchtower' means 'leaving morality'. She's been taught that apostates are crazed, drugged-up, immoral fiends. If you have apostate leanings (and she would surely interpret your recent actions that way, even if you're not sure), she will imagine you leaning more toward all the "worldly" things that the Watchtower warns about.

  It may not seem reasonable to you that she would tie these two things together, but I'd be willing to bet she does. Many exiting husbands have told me their wives thought the same thing. So please do let her know your feelings for her haven't changed, and questioning the Watchtower doesn't in any way mean questioning your marriage or your vows to her.

  Dave
• 

  Highlander

  One thing you can and should do immediately -- reassure your wife that no matter what religion you or she follow, you love her and will remain faithful to her. Explain in excruciating detail that you married HER and your vows are to HER.

  That's a great point A.A.

  There are other posters on this board that have done just that and according to their feedback, their wives felt much better and relieved to hear from their husbands

  that despite not being dedicated to the j-dubs, they are still dedicated to their wives.

  Definitely a great suggestion for you to follow.