Freedom of Speech (page 2)

AllAlongTheWatchtower

I'm an admin on a website and chatroom designed primarily for teens and college students-I get the 'but what about my rights?" freedom of speech thing all the time. My favorite example is to point out to them that despite freedom of speech, it is still illegal to stand up in the middle of a crowded theatre or concert hall and scream "FIRE!". It's called inciting a riot. Anybody who doesn't accept my explanation, well they get a boot off the server, and then a 5 minute ban if they come back and persist in being a jerk. I double the 5 minutes every time they come back and 'shout' back (typing in all caps, continuing to use expletives). Most of them get the idea before I get to an hour long ban, lol.

I find it more disturbing that you describe what happened as a temper tantrum than the language thing itself. Being a soon-to-be father (first time), I have concerns about how I was raised, and the possibility of continuing a cycle of violence. I've read a lot of books and articles about this sort of thing, the percentage of abused turned abuser is very high, apparently. Still, that being said...I think if my kid let loose a string like that in a tantrum, I'd be tempted to turn 'em over my knee but good. Whereas if I simply accidentally overheard them 'cuss a blue streak', I'd be more inclined to pretend I hadn't heard.

ex-nj-jw

Hey Scully,

I personally am guilty of cussing like a sailor, and have done so around my children. However, they have never used this language (with the exception of my oldest, another story) at me. I have always told them, I'm an adult and can speak the way I choose, when you become an adult you can speak the way you choose. And it's worked!!

Consequences for speaking that way may work for you and yours - teenagers are easy to punish, no phone, no cell phone, no video games, no tv, no ipod, and driving is the best - use the old "driving is a priviledge not a necessity!!!! and take away the learners permit if they have one. Punishing teenagers is sooo easy!!! Take advantage of it, it works better than time out in a chair for a 3 year old!!

nj

JeffT

Been down this road three times (youngest is now 21). If its age appropriate give him his freedom: he's free to buy his own car, cook his own meals, buy his own food, use his own electricity to run the computer, tv, stereo etc. He'll get the picture.

I gave my daughter good food for thought on the night of her 18th birthday. She was going on and on about how she was an adult now, could do whatever she wanted etc. I pointed out to her that also meant that if the police called I was no longer legally obligated to come get her.

Terry

This isn't about SPEECH.

This is about POWER.

Any speech or word that brings POWER is a useful tool to the one using it.

When you react strongly to a word you give it POWER.

If nobody blinked when a flag was burned people would stop doing it.

BY PAYING ATTENTION and making a big deal you grant POWER.

Racial slurs are only powerful because they imply POWER to reduce another person in stature.

It takes a lot of understanding to ignore an idiot rather than pump them full of power.

FREEDOM OF SPEECH is a tricky issue.

It is not freedom to speak we are really talking about when it comes to hurtful or denigrating words.

Do we grant license to individuals to disrespect, belittle and profane others?

Yes, but only because words are nothing.

Where we fall very short in society is comprehending that we cannot empower that disrespect, belittlement and profanity by reacting to the WORDS ONLY.

We must attack bad ideas by using BETTER ideas; not by making oppressive laws which don't work anyway.

When your own kids use bad language there is something more sinister at root. The "thinking" behind those words and the ideas connected to them.

That is your real battle.

Smiles_Smiles

There are allot of freedoms that have criterias and stipulations.

i.e. All adults by law have the right to smoke tobacco. but it is stipulated that in certain restuarants and places of business it is not allowed.

We all have freedom of speech but if you curse out your teacher you will be expelled, if you tell the president you are going to kill him you will be arrested. etc..

There are rules no matter where you are that effect freedoms. And there are consequesnces (be it good or bad) for every decision you make. And the rules of your house may be not to have curse words. Your teenager is probably going to use any words he/she wants to while not in your presences. But there are house rules and you are perfectly able to explain those rules and have an expectation of them being respected.

Personally I could care less if my daughter says curse words. As long as she is not calling me names (unspoken but repected house rule). She is smart enough to know who she can say stuff like that to and who she can't. And if her wisdom in this area doesn't kick in when speaking to someone who has the authority to make her have a bad consequence (ie teachers and such) then I bet the next time she will remember if she doesn't want that same consequence to happen again. She recognizes freedom vs limited authority vs situational rules. I think all teenagers pretty much get this concept. They just try to push and see how far they can go. It is up to you to draw your house boundaries and rules in the sand.

Well ... that's my 2 cents. And you cant even buy bubble gum wiht 2 cents anymore.

Smiles,

Good luck.

Finally-Free

I have the freedom to walk into my boss's office and cuss him out. By doing that he'll have the freedom to fire me without any further cause. The unemployment office will have the freedom to deny me benefits because the termination is due to misconduct. Other prospective employers will have the freedom to hire someone else - someone who doesn't swear at their bosses. My landlord will then have the freedom to evict me when I can't pay my rent.

All because I insist on exercising my right to freedom of speech.

All freedoms have consequenses.

W

Terry

One last thought.

Cuss words, profanity and bad language are a substitute for a reasoned argument. It is inarticulate ignorance in the place of won debate. It is saying to the world: "I don't have any ideas, but, I sure am loud!"

Beautiful young people with nasty mouths demonstrate there is little in their head. Little respect, little understanding and little patience to present their views with discipline and confidence.

Is there anything uglier on this planet than a grown adult completely out of control, out of bounds and hateful?

Anybody who thinks you make the world a better enviornement by using bad language is the worst sort of polluter.

Mouth Pollution is bad manners.

jgnat

I never swear. Never. One of the reasons, I think, my JW husbby adores me so. Besides, I've got a competent enough grasp of the language to make my wishes known in the MOST creative way possible.

On occassion, though, someone will use an expletive in such a funny way, that I repeat the phrase. Like the time we helped a poor lost chickie find her way on the map. She kept saying f***k me over and over standing there in her cute little bikini top. Hubby blushed because I'm sure he would have liked to help her with that, too, and I was grinning from ear to ear. Afterwards, I kept relating the event over and over. F**k me, f**k me. Hubby got flustered and asked me to stop repeating what she said. It was cute enough coming out of the girl in the little bikini top, but he sure didn't like it coming out of my mouth!

As for kids, I always tied freedom with responsibility. I had a whole list of rules on how they could or couldn't argue with each other. You also deserve the same respect. It's all about respect for the person. Here's some of the rules I remember:

Don't hit below the belt.
Don't bring up old history.
Stick to the argument at hand.
Don't start with "You are..." but "I feel..."
Don't generalize, don't start with "You always..."
Instead, give a concrete, recent example of behavior that upset you.
Stick to behavior, not perceived motives.
How can you really know what the person's feelings or motives are? Ask instead.
Let the person know how their behavior affected you.

You can always make up more.

frankiespeakin

Jnat,

Afterwards, I kept relating the event over and over. F**k me, f**k me. Hubby got flustered and asked me to stop repeating what she said. It was cute enough coming out of the girl in the little bikini top, but he sure didn't like it coming out of my mouth!

You should have said to him the next time you two had sex, maybe he wouldn't have minded so much then.

greendawn

Just like every other freedom this one also has its limits, when it offends other people it has gone over the line and above all respect for older people and especially parents doesn't allow for this. They can swear with their friends outside the house and even then polite males don't do so in the presence of females.

Freedom of Speech

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