Do you expect perfection in people?

MariAruet

Many witnesses are perfectionists. They have this image of what you should be like before they can accept you as a person, but even then you are constantly being judged, so you are never good enough no matter how much you try. I’ve been reading posts here for the last few months and have noticed that sometimes people are quite judgmental and even abrasive with each other. I was wondering if that might be a leftover from days while still inside the society.

I don't know I might be the same so I'm not trying to pass another judgement here but would love us all to just stop for a moment and think. So, without furhter ado, how about you do you accept people’s imperfections as part of them just being normal humans or do you still have that something that can’t settle for anything but perfection in someone?

Hope I don't get judged for asking such a stupid question ;-)

nvrgnbk

No.

Not at all.

As long as people do exactly what I want, when I want, and how I want, I am sooo easy to get along with.

I hate perfectionists.

Who are you?

The concept is kind of nutty isn't it? Nobody is perfect including one's self, so how could an individual possibly expect perfection in others.

I think there is a rather delusional and weak side of human nature whereby people concentrate on the faults of others so they don't have to deal with their own. It's weak, it's convenient, it requires little effort.

Dealing with ones own imperfection requires real effort.

MariAruet

lol nvr I hope that was meant to be funny ;-)

Who are you, you explained it really well. I guess not accepting people for who they are might be a sign of someone's own psychological issues. What do you think? and p.s. I love you nickname ;-)

golf2

Great question MarieAruet. Without doubt many whether they realize it or not expect perfection on JW forums. I find this disturbing. I have said many times that JW's are 'emotional misfits". Their personal lives have been taken from them and they need to recognize it and do something about it. We all have potential. Thanks again for asking a perfect question.

Golf

fifi40

Hi MariAruet

This is something that I have given some thought to over the years..............................does being raised a JW put the idea of perfection in your mind more than others.............we are taught from an early age that we are striving for 'a perfect life on a perfect paradise like earth'........perfection is pushed into your consciousness all the time............man lost perfection, we can return to perfection, the earth will be perfect..............to much perfection me thinks.

Now does that step over into non witness life once we are out.....................I think it is totally individual.........but it is probably a 'concept' we are more likely to apply to ourselves than expect from others.

As far as this forum goes...............I think you have a mixed bag.............dont mistake healthy debate for people expecting perfection from others..............and also there is banter between folk who are familiar with one another...........and then there are probably the rare few who are more arrogant and dismissive of others and their opinions, but I take that more as insecurity (a need to be right) and lack of fellow feeling on their part.

Fifi

MariAruet

Golf that is so true. I basically stopped going to the meetings because I couldn't stand being judged everytime I'm there. "Oh sister your skirt is too short", "sister your answer is too long/short", "sister just wanted to encourage you to go more out because your 8 hours are BELOW national avarage" that was in begining then it turned more and more personal. But, yes I see similar way of thinking here at times which is a bit sad, you would think that leaving watchtower meant people are free thinkers and not judges, jury and executioners of their friends who are in the same boat.

aquagirl

the whole perfection myth is how the fantasy of 'god' began,i think...its the 'grass is always greener' phenomon..just be glad w/what you are,and be glad for everyone elses quirks and bumps and twitches..honestly,would you want to live in a watchtower pictured paradise?sheesh..no wonder that satan got bored and decided to stir things up a bit...so would i!!!!

nvrgnbk

lol nvr I hope that was meant to be funny ;-)
Who are you, you explained it really well. I guess not accepting people for who they are might be a sign of someone's own psychological issues. What do you think? and p.s. I love you nickname ;-)

Twas meant to be funny.

I still battle with it. But I've never been more at peace with myself or others. Yes, I believe that constant criticism of others reveals one's own dissatisfaction with oneself. I believe it was so in my case. Truly learn to love yourself, and it's easier to accept, understand, and ultimately love others.

Thanks for the props on the name! I kinda like it myself.

MariAruet

I agree with you fifi, but my question is not only about this forum. I mean how do you find dealing with other people, those around you and people you might have some relationship with do they have to fit into some perfect picture you might have about them and if they don't they are being judged for it?

Do you expect perfection in people?

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