by MariAruet 20 Replies latest jw friends
Being that I am very imperfect, I would hope that others would accept my imperfections....just as I try my best to accept theirs...
i like to forgive others easily because, A) it feels good to do so, and B) i need forgiveness since i make lots of mistakes...
We probably all have issues with judging others to some extent.................it seems it is part of our makeup as humans...........if we are really smart we examine ourselves when we have a strong reaction to something someone else does or says...................and then we conclude that we were right all along and move on.........hee hee
I will probably come back to this later tonight as I love this topic but have to go for now..........
disrespect and abrasiveness and rudeness and grouchiness= bad
peace and love and understanding = good
Yes, I think watchtower had great influence on many people whether they are ready to admit it or not. I mean people anywhere gossip each othe etc but with witnesses that goes to a completely new level and that is a level I'm talking about here. A level that is a sign of something disturbed (or desturbing) in a person who cannot accept imperfections in others.
MarieAruet, my girlfriend has this dog phobia and I wanted to learn how she can break the habit, so, I went to the search engine and came up with the following site.
www.usenature.com/article_phobia_cure.htm
What caught my interest was the site deals with emotional issues. EMT stands for Emotional Fredom Techniques. I thought this may interest you.
I love your thinking question.
Golf
That was good thank you Golf, it agree with the article negative emotions can make you sick physically. Like when you are angry or upset with someone or thinking about their shortcoming it is actually YOU who suffer and not them. I've read somewhere, can't remember where, but article said that negative thinking can become so much part of us that we don't even see it, and that is the whole point because we don't know what we are dealing with we tend to sink even further in our own mudfield of negative thinking. Which then turn people away from us because no one likes to be around someone who is constantly negative or on fault-finding mission.
MarieAruet, right on, negative people are a turn-off !!! Though having been a JW for many decades, (off and on) I still did my own thing. To me, it was my mother that was purely negative, she was a complete turn-off.
Let me share an experience. My grand-daughter not raised as a witness has a mother that is verbally abusive. She would demean her by calling her foul names. When she would visit her grandmother (my wife) she would always cry, always. About six years ago, I began to personally hug her everytime we saw each other and told her that I loved her. I waited on time to see the results, and let me tell you, the results have been positive, it paid off. She's only sixteen and she just recently began doing a radio show on my son's internet radio and this too has built her confidence. She has a modeling interview this week-end in Toronto and I have been invited to go, which I am. Emotionally she has gotten stronger.
Likewise with many ex-witnesses, their emotional needs need strengthening. talking about has no merit, doing something about it does.
Golf
I think people stretch this a little too far. yeah it gets a little hard sometimes, but I wouldnt call them perfectionists because from a moral stand point I dont believe the things they ask of you are hard to follow. I never felt like I was judged to much and I played sports in high school. Sometimes I woner if people experiences would have been better in different congregations. There are bad apples in every religion. Im a jw backer and I will even admit I dont think alot of elders get things right, but there are probably alot of fake elders, but you have these things in alot of religions.
Wow that was beautiful, thank you for sharing that story with me Golf, I bet she loves you to bits, and you deserve it. Unfortunately, in my experience those expecting perfection from others never stop for a moment and think what they are doing to their own health and how they come across to other people. And I bet they then feel how it is really hard to find someone who understands them ;-)
You are correct when you say some people do not think. Limited thinking.
Let me share another recent experience, a not so happy one, but, one worth sharing. My oldest daughter is a witness. She lives in my building next door to me and she pays low rent, my gift. Anyways, she gave a baby shower for her son (not a witness this past week-end) and I wasn't invited! This is my great grand-son. My sons and other daughter who attended (not witnesses) were displeased over the affair. My witness daughter said over the phone that she would save me a piece of cake, wow-zee, I refused the cake in a gentle manner when it was offered to me. If my wife were alive she would be very disappointed. My girlfriend was shocked to hear about it.
This is an example of witness training.
Golf
