letter to parents of molesting ex-husband---FEEDBACK PLEASE!!! (page 3)

But I think you might do well to rewrite this and get it as organized as you can. Sometimes in organizing something, you see possibillities for the next step more clearly. It seems that your biggest hope is for Sally to get support that she might need (being believed, for example), and for Steven to be confronted (and put on a registry).

Maybe I passed over it, but is there something that prevents you from discussing this with situation with Sally? Do you know what the statute of limitations is for your state?

I do not think you should send this letter to Steven's parents, though! That will surely not help your goals.

bebu

Tyrone van leyen

Jex, just writing this thread has been a big step for you. You have finnally let it out. Now you will be further able to organize your thoughts and plan of action. A lot of us just need to get it out. If you sit back now and go over it you will see things more clearly. The right opportunity will present itself if you are pateint and prepared. Gnat I think is giving good advice on being careful about who you present this to. Some will not give you the affirmation you need. Complex matters with so many people involved can take years to iron out in courts to have the truth firmly established.

Perhaps if you talk to some of the victims directly you may be able to get them out of their own Stolkholm sydrome, to assist you and give it valididty. Write them a letter and ask how they feel about your thoughts. It will be much easier and you you won't feel as alone if you you can get their cooperation .

. It will make for a far stronger case when you stand side by side if even in secret. You arn't the only one involved in this, and we are not all eternal towers of strength. You must make sure they are even in agreeement with what you are doing or it might all backfire on you.

Madame Quixote

Two (or more?) molesting siblings in the same household? Anyone want to take bets that either "Seth Sr" or some other adult member in that family was raping the boys too? Only one of several reasons I can think of why the parents won't listen. -Odrade

That was pretty much my thought on the matter. I doubt the parents will offer or consider offering support based on your letter, but the people who were already victimized by your husband - Samantha and whoever - you should contact and offer support. How long ago was the abuse, I wonder? Could they prosecute him for it? That is what I think ought to be done, although the really young ones may not recall accurately if it was a very, very long time ago.

Madame Quixote

I would not send the letter to anyone until it is better organized and would be careful about what information your family might get off this board. Are you sure the "marked" person who directed you here is not also directing your family here? I hope you can sort this out with the people who already were victimized by your ex and I hope your ex does not model and teach the same crap to your sons for them to repeat. That is a worry.

J-ex-W

Bebu, Tyrone, and Madame Quixote---------

Thanks, everyone, for your responses!! I have been leaving the whole thing alone for a while (fried out---big stuff---lot of processing to do) and concentrating on some other unavoidable, imminent concerns for the moment.

Still processing all of it...the responses being taken well into consideration [again: THANK YOU!!!].

The matter is NOT done....

J-ex-W

p.s. And yes, I am absolutely certain that the relative who directed me here is NOT acting 'double agent,' so to speak, or directing other family members here.

J-ex-W

Haven't been on JWD much lately. Been busy/ adjusting to the 'outside' world, post-back surgery recovery. Miss everybody here, though--really do!

Also: Want to give update regarding the info/ dilemma I wrote about on this thread. It was decided that (taking into consideration all the feedback, facts, and foreseeable consequence) I will write an abbreviated version of the above letter to hand in to my local police--and let them guide me on the next steps to take.

THANKS, EVERYONE, WHO GAVE INPUT!!!!!!!

THIS MATTER IS STILL IN THE WORKS AND IS SEVERAL STEPS CLOSER TO EVENTUALLY GOING PUBLIC.

Take care, Everyone!!

J-ex-W

JWdaughter

Yikes, that family has some problems.

My suggestion for the letter is to edit it. Leave out your personal commentary, leave out commentary about their reaction to you or your assumptions about their past behaviors. I would write a very factual letter, leave out a lot of emotion as that gives them more reason to dismiss your words as hysterical ravings of a jealous/foolish/whichever-way-they-like-to- denigrate-you woman. Do not direct it specifically to his parents. Make it more of a to whom it may concern, and relate the facts he told you, and the reasons he told you for them. Make your factual observations, but not emotional ones. When you have dates, or specific events, put them in. Send the letter to each of your in laws, your sister in laws, police, elders, and anyone like that girl in the room at the top of the ladder. . . Might want to keep a few copies for your sons when they are adults, and a future wife-especially if he isn't 'fixed'. Having daughters with that man would be tragic.

Twitch

J-ex-W

Glad to hear it. Much respect for your courage, determination and desire for justice.

Save me a dance sometime,...

letter to parents of molesting ex-husband---FEEDBACK PLEASE!!!

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