Incidentally, after much soul searching, my ex decided against going to the Hall for the funeral talk. She felt it wasn't worth it in the long run.
Have You Ever Felt Intimidated To Go To A Funeral Because of Being An ExJw
by minimus 15 Replies latest jw friends
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undercover
I have no issues with going to a funeral of a JW that I knew and I'm not intimidated either. To me, I'm there to show respect for the deceased and show a little support for the family. My issues with the WTS/JWs is not important at this time. For the most part, JWs have been able to put aside any issues they may have with me and things usually end up being pretty civil and polite.
I'm still getting invited to the occasional wedding, usually a son/daughter of a JW friend. When invited, I will go if my schedule allows it. I've noticed that some JWs tend to be a little more shunning at weddings and wedding receptions than at funerals.
The downside to showing up at these dub events is that some well-meaing, but yet nosy dub will ask what my problem is and how can they help me get back to meetings. I usually defer the questions pretty good, but one brother, a pretty good friend at one time, kept on and on until I finally told him to come over one day and I'll explain things to him...but I also forewarned him, "Be careful though, you might not like what you hear and if you're not ready to question everything you know, don't bother". Never heard from him after that.
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minimus
Undercover, you're such an apostate.
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blondie
I have never liked attending funerals (or weddings) and tried to avoid attending my own wedding and have plans to skip my funeral.
But I have not avoided them because of being an ex-JW. I am neither da'd or df'd. If I knew the person/family, I send a card with a nice appropriate scripture. It is surprising or not surprising how few JWs send cards...in one congregation and 4 funerals later, we had received a total of 4 cards from JWs, 300 from non-JWs. hmmmmmmmmmmmm
I have encounters now and then with JWs in other venues and no problems with discussion. I am quite adept at changing the subject to something innocuous with a degree of style.
Blondie
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OUTLAW
As a DubKid,I was dragged to every JW Funeral available..I`m sick of "seeing" Dead Dub`s!.....I haven`t gone to a Funeral as an Adult...OUTLAW
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pratt1
Like Blondie, I am neither D/A or D/F, but I faded away about 10 years ago.
The only weddings I have attended were weddings of people who have that same non dub status as myself, so the dubs attending these weddings are already conditioned not to ask me about my thoughts on the "troff".
Funerals are a little more complicated. Since a few of the dubs that I grew up with or their parents, have died over the past 10 years, I have attended some of these funerals, when I felt that they played a signifant part in my life.
Whenever I have been asked if I attend the hall, Ijust say no, and then I firmly say, you should stop asking me questions about the truth, right now. That always ends the conversation.
It has shown me who actually has true affection for me and those who don't. If they change the subject and then talk about some else and not run away from me, then I know that they still care. If the act like I have the plaque after my comment, then the hell with them.