Change a hit into a Kingdom Song!

by reneeisorym 14 Replies latest jw friends

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    Bye-Bye Theocratic Dream

    A long, long time ago...
    I can still remember
    How the 'service' used to make me smile.
    And I knew if I had my heart just right
    That I could make the meeting tonight
    And, maybe Jehovah would be happy for a while.

    But pedophilia made me shiver
    With every Tower I’d deliver.
    Liars on the doorstep;
    I had to take one more step.

    I can’t remember if I tried
    To run away and try and hide,
    But something touched me deep inside
    The day I saw all the lies.

    Sooo, Bye, bye, American Dream -

    Buy a chevy-van and pioneer until you have seen -

    All your youth and time and vigor and energy gone -

    Waiting for the 'world to die', waiting for the world to die.

    Did Freddy write the book of 'truth',
    And do you have faith to waste your youth,
    If his Bible tells you so?
    Did you throw out your rock ’n roll,
    Can Kingdom music save your soul,
    And can you teach me how to preach real slow?

    Well, I know that you’re evil in your heart
    `cause I know of the world you're part.
    You don't wear Witness shoes.
    And you're not in the 'Truth'.

    I was a lonely teenage pioneer
    With a pink 'Youth book' and thin veneer,
    And a sermon written in the rear,
    Before the music died.

    I started singin’,

    Bye, bye, American Dream -

    Buy a chevy-van and pioneer until you have seen -

    All your youth and time and vigor and energy gone -

    Waiting for the 'world to die', waiting for the world to die.

    Now for three years we’ve been on our own
    And moss grows fat on a rollin’ stone,
    But that’s not how it used to be.
    When the elder's made me kiss their ass,
    And the Tower told me how to dress.
    And a voice that issued not from me,

    And while the kingdom-slaves were looking 'round,
    The pedophiles were gaining ground.
    The committee was adjourned;
    No verdict was returned.
    And while the 'generation' was being dismissed,
    Those that left were barely missed,
    And I got all the elder's pissed
    The day the music died.

    We were singing,

    Bye, bye, American Dream -

    Buy a chevy-van and pioneer until you have seen -

    All your youth and time and vigor and energy gone -

    Waiting for the 'world to die', waiting for the world to die.

    Helter skelter in a summer love-fest.
    We could never get no rest,
    Eight days long and falling fast.
    The 'right' hotels we had to use .
    And 'apostates' to refuse,
    With Bethel on the platform in a ruse.

    Now the half-time air was a new release,
    Kingdom growth to increase.
    We all got up to pray,
    Oh, but we woudl stay!
    `cause the elders tried to take the field;
    The rank and file refused to yield.
    Do you recall what was revealed
    The day the 'generation' died?

    We started singing,

    Bye, bye, American Dream -

    Buy a chevy-van and pioneer until you have seen -

    All your youth and time and vigor and energy gone -

    Waiting for the 'world to die', waiting for the world to die.

    Oh, and there we were all in one time,
    A generation that would not die,
    With no time left to start again.
    So come on: fred be nimble, fred be quick!
    Freddy started the 'pornia' shtich.
    Cause oral is the devil’s only friend.

    Oh, and as I watched him on the stage
    Speaking of this final age.
    Denouncing heaven and hell
    Saving us from Satan’s spell.
    And as the numbers climbed out of sight
    Of those that died in bloodless rite,
    I saw Satan laughing with delight
    The day the music died

    He was singing,

    Bye, bye, American Dream -

    Buy a chevy-van and pioneer until you have seen -

    All your youth and time and vigor and energy gone -

    Waiting for the 'world to die', waiting for the world to die.

    If we were all in the 'truth'
    I wondered where's the happy news?
    And why did 'shepherds' just turn away?
    I went down to the sacred store
    Where I’d heard the music years before,
    But reality said the music wouldn’t play.

    And in the streets: the children screamed,
    The lovers cried, and apostates dreamed.
    But not a word was spoken;
    The Kingdom's spell was broken.
    And the men that I'd admired most:
    Of my death outside would surely boast,
    And of my demise to that they toast,
    The day the music died.

    And they were singing,

    Bye, bye, American Dream -

    Buy a chevy-van and pioneer until you have seen -

    All your youth and time and vigor and energy gone -

    Waiting for the 'world to die', waiting for the world to die.

    But I was singing,

    Bye, bye, Theocratic Dream -

    Bought a sports car and golf clubs, the truth I have seen -

    All my youth and time and vigor and energy back -

    Not waiting for the world to die. Not waiting for the world to die.

  • Nosferatu
    Nosferatu

    The Kingdom Hall Song

    Well it's 40 below and I don't give a f--k
    Got a heater in my truck
    And I'm off to the Kingdom Hall

    It's Momma on my left And Papa on my right
    C'mon you f--king dummy get your comments right
    Get off the stage you goddam kid

    The Elders, they piss me off
    F--king jerks
    Get on my nerves.

  • parakeet
    parakeet

    (Adapted from It's Gonna Be a Bright Sun-shiny Day)

    I can see clearly now my brain is gone.
    I can snub all apostates in my way.
    Gone are my freedoms to use my mind.
    It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
    Armageddon day.

  • bebu
    bebu

    Wow, I'm truly impressed!!!! Every one of these is great. Keep them coming.

    bebu

  • MadTiger
    MadTiger

    My friends and I used to change words to popular songs to joke on each other.

    These parodies are SO GOOD.

    Gawd.

    AK-Jeff was a workhouse redoing Don McLean.

    If I got enough interest, I could make some recordings of these to the music (or some reasonable versions).

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