This is OT (like half of the topics in 'Friends'), and a bit personal, but I don't actually have that many friends that I can talk about this with, so here goes...
Mr Frass and I believe we're very happily married, and we're very affectionate. Trouble is, around midnight many nights, I'm finding that I can't get comfortable and sleep. I need to turn around a lot, cuddle a spare pillow in *just* the right way etc. I had a lot of sleepless nights early on but after a while I took to shifting to the spare room after I'd accepted for that night that I can't sleep. Within minutes of getting comfy in there I'm asleep; more room, more freedom to wriggle around and get comfy. I think it's partly about stress - it happens more at times like this (exams next week), but also, since I have spent the vast majority of my life sleeping alone and have only just recently had my sleeping space cut in half, I'm just finding it difficult to get used to.
I don't like leaving him on those nights - and also don't like not being there when he wakes up. Mr Frass was sad about it early on and I explained that I just needed to sleep. I'm pretty sure that he doesn't take it personally now and knows that it's just about sleep, but today he suggested that he should sleep in the spare room from now on, because the curtains in there aren't so thick and the brighter light could help him to wake up in the morning. I know him well enough to know that he's just concerned that I'm not getting the sleep I need, and finding a practical solution that has an upside for him too. Or, maybe I'm such a wriggler that he's not sleeping properly either. I'll ask him.
I don't want it to be a permanent thing though, it seems so sad and a step in the wrong direction. I think I'll start marking on a calendar every night I shift rooms, and insist that he opens the curtains as soon as he wakes up so that he finds it easier to start the day. I'm afraid to go that way.
Has anybody found that it's better to sleep alone? Would that be a marriage killer?
Thanks
Sleepless in, uh, lets say Sydney