marriage

showmelight

hi there!! my name is paul , i am a practicing JW, (and loving it). I am engaged to woman who is not a JW. during my studys my elders are always reminding me that i should marry only in the lord as the bible says. i am stuck at the moment and dont know what to do.. i love my fiance as she does me and want to marry her. if i marry her, will i not be allowed to be baptised? thanks paul

Spectre

They want to control love. Don't let them. They have no right.

carla

That's your worry here? if you can still be baptized? Have you thought long term? How will your new wife feel about your being completely controlled by the org? which in turn affects her life? Does she understand the org/elders will be privy to what goes on in your bedroom? and that the rest of the cong will know as well as nothing ever said to an elder or ms is private? Is she aware of the no holiday policy? Is she aware the org will have control over what movies/shows & books can be watched/read in her home? That even your hair will be controlled by the elders? Does she understand that she may have to fight you in court to save her childs life? Is she aware that she will only be getting a part time husband? Most of your time will be taken up by the org and earning your 'salvation'. The restrictions go on and on. Do this lady a favor, cut her loose and let her have a normal life with a man willing to be a full time husband and one who understands what 'the two shall become one' means.

signed, one who is living it now.

showmelight

i understand your points.. the thing is,, the congregation i go to isnt like that.. i know that being a christian is restricting but i gues only for the protection from satan. i do not want to go to the church as i know they do ot follow god hte way he wants them to( as with even some JW,s that have done wrong). can you guarantee that not being a true christian will svae me from armageddon?

brinjen

can you guarantee that not being a true christian will svae me from armageddon?

Showmelight, the dubs are not the way to being a true christian. Have a read through this discussion board, just browse through some of the posts at random if you haven't already done so. We're not monsters like you've been told. We're not out to ruin anybodys lives, and we're not spiritually weak either. Just do the research and come to your own conclusion, if you feel your best course if with the dubs, then go for it. But stay with them because you want to, not because you're afraid to leave.

Getting back to your question, no the elders cannot stop you from getting baptised if you marry an un-believer. They will however, rub your face in it for the rest of your life. How are you going to feel being told your wife won't survive armaegeddon? How is she going to feel in the long term about your faith? You both need to think long and hard about how this will affect the both of you.

showmelight

hi brinjen. i see what your saying and i also trust that what your saying is based on truth and experiance etc ,, i wont doubt that at all so i do appreciate your comment. i do believe that is the way for me and the lifestyle. im not afraid to leave or anything if it does come to it. i have thoiugh just spoke to one of me elders on the phone and after the cing we are going to have a talk as i have some issues as you can see. its tough when i can plainly see how the lifestyle works but how everybody is always against me saying that their way is better , yet most people on the earth are genrally mixed up. lol touhg one hey.

OnTheWayOut

Showmelight, welcome to this forum.

If you marry an unbeliever, there are holiday and family issues. There are JW's that won't
invite Mr. & Mrs. Showmelight to their events because she is bad association.

There is going to be incredible pressure on you to convert her. If children are ever
born, there is the battle over their religion.

Decide what you want. Do you want her or the religion? Misery accompanies choosing both.

Deep down, you know they will expect you to convert her. If she's so wonderful, ask her why
she doesn't want to be a JW. Maybe she sees something you haven't thought of. Also, before
you join, you are still allowed to read the views of former members. Do so. Start here and at
freeminds.org. Consider buying some books from former members or getting them at the
library. After your baptism, YOU WILL NOT BE ALLOWED TO LOOK AT THOSE BOOKS OR
WEBSITES. Verify that this is true. Ask them. They will tell you some goofy reasons that
"these things are dangerous, you should learn about us from us." Do those who consider
political candidates only consider what the one candidate says, or do they listen to the others?

showmelight

shes not interested in religion full stop not just JW. i know they would want her converted . alsp choosing both will be worse i agree,, sigh..

Outaservice

If you love being an 'active JW' then by all means follow their rules and dump her!

That wouldn't be my choice but............................

Outaservice

vitty

You will be "marked" that means no one will associate with you, other than in the meetings . Is that what you want ? I would delay being baptized for quite a while, well untill the love bombing stops.

marriage

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