Alone, But Not Lonely....

by compound complex 59 Replies latest jw friends

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  Sad emo

  I find it strange that some people I speak to can't seem to accept that you can be alone but not lonely.

  And to me the opposite can also be true - you can be surrounded by friends and family and still be very lonely.

  Myself, I've been alone but not lonely since childhood, it was a survival thing for me I had to learn to get used to my own company. Recently through my recovery, I do find myself feeling lonely sometimes - but more so when I'm in company. There's probably something else from my past I need to work on but I can't quite put my finger on it. Maybe that's why I like the internet interaction too, it eases the loneliness but I'm not in a crowd as such.
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  Amber Rose

  From the title, I thought this thread was going to be something from the back of a watchtower. Being alone for a little while is good for you.
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  bernadette

  Hi coco

  I too have come to value my alone but not lonely times

  bernadette

  and happy belated anniversary
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  poppers

  You don't have to be alone to feel lonliness but, if you are feeling lonely you can be sure that you are indulging in some story of lonliness. Wake up to the story and get back to the present moment and lonliness dissolves. I have lived alone for many many years, and I can honestly say that in the past 7 of those years I haven't felt lonely once.
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  Crumpet

  For every evening I spend in company I need at least 4 without. Thats easily achievable now I live alone. I really like it. Yes I miss the ocassional hug and I miss sex, but I missed that for years living with somebody so its not different.

  Right now I am making the most of my time to study and make myself physically fitter, which are much easier to do alone and in privacy then when catering to the demands of others.

  I think I know where and with whom the next portion of my life is going to be spent and I really can't wait, but thats no reason not to relish the time now and in between. And also to recognise that there are aspects of "sharing" I do miss, especially being able to laugh with someone who gets my jokes! I do intend in the longer term to explore sharing of my life with some special others but it takes very special individuals to inspire such a desire in me.

  I've been alone for the past year now.

  I don't like it, and hope I never get used to it, but at the present it's necessary whilst I do some personal rebuilding work.

  tim

  I hate feeling you resenting the aloneness and I hope you find a way to embrace it until such a time comes that you have to share it again. Rebuilding is a great way to describe this transition period. Dont think of it as permanent or a limbo wasteland. You've made a lot of friends in this alone time and these friends are possibly your stepping stone to a different life shared with others. No one ever said labour pains were fun!
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  compound complex

  A good evening to all my friends,

  In a crowd, but ever so lonely. Likewise, mates who've grown apart yet occupy most of their time together in tortured silence. Contrariwise, I made many new friends today at my adoptive family's BBQ. We discussed academics, political issues, the arts and, mercifully, NO religion! I also made tentative arrangements to volunteer at our major, monthly musical events. The gathering was casual and calm, which put me totally at ease and I loved every minute of it. Why in particular? I am no longer programmed to view other human beings as potential recruits. I could just enjoy myself with "worldly" people. How I hate that word!
  Some of you indicated that, after mixing with your fellow man, you need to get home, unwind and recharge your batteries. After I rest up, I'll be ready for another go at it. I feel I have an entire new life ahead of me.
  I thank you for your wonderful replies.
  
  Love,

  CoCo
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  codeblue

  That is the way I felt before NOdenial showed up ...

  There is something to be said about being happy and whole alone......

  You are an awesome poster that is very supportive........it doesnt' go un-noticed.

  hugs,

  Codeblue
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  compound complex

  Dear Codeblue,

  Thanks for your nice comments. Interaction that is meaningful and supportive used to be primarily via snailmail, the only economical way to communicate years ago. Such correspondence opened the way to meaningful relationships that flourished and endured over decades, though a meeting in person was rare, if ever. Now we have more of the same - via the NET - but with instant delivery, and, often, a prompt reply.
  I hope, CB, that you make your way through some of those troubling personal issues to which you referred. I can testify that some 8 months-active on JWD has done more for my personal growth than decades spent in JWism. God bless you.

  CoCo
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  Finally-Free

  I was much more lonely when I was a JW and married than I am now that I'm divorced and out of the cult. I've learned to enjoy my own company. I have my bird, Rocco, and I have my work and hobbies. I have my sisters and their families, and a couple of friends. I can easily spend an entire week alone before noticing that I haven't spoken to another human being the entire time. In fact, that's how I usually spend my vacation time - doing things around the house, playing with Rocco, trying new recipes, reading, whatever. No humans required/desired.

  W
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  compound complex

  Dear FF,

  "No humans required/desired." Words to which I can finally relate. Still a tad needy - moi - but ever so much more INdependent. Growth is a good thing............

  Thanx much,

  CoCo