Back to the topic - I am in love with a JW

LindaLu

Hi, I have been dating a very committed JW - He spent some time out of the organisation after a divorce and about a year ago has been granted a fellowship again. I absolutely adore him - and what is there not to Love! He is the most kind, sweet and lovable man I have ever met. Despite being an Atheist myself due to scientific reason - I was brought up as a very religious Christian - to the point of doing one year of theological studies at University. So I do respect and understand (more or less) his point of view... But I am duelling within myself and I do not know what to do... I certainly do not wish to give him up, but I am not sure to what extent his association with me will bring him guilty feelings and pain...

R.F.

Hi, I have been dating a very committed JW - He spent some time out of the organisation after a divorce and about a year ago has been granted a fellowship again. I absolutely adore him - and what is there not to Love! He is the most kind, sweet and lovable man I have ever met. Despite being an Atheist myself due to scientific reason - I was brought up as a very religious Christian - to the point of doing one year of theological studies at University. So I do respect and understand (more or less) his point of view... But I am duelling within myself and I do not know what to do... I certainly do not wish to give him up, but I am not sure to what extent his association with me will bring him guilty feelings and pain... Welcome to JWD! I'm going to tell you this with complete honesty.....RUN!!! I must say that if he is in this kind of relationship with you, he isn't a very committed JW, given the fact that he isn't supposed to be with someone outside of the Watchtower organization. Be extra cautious, his loyalty to the organization can potentiall cause a hindrance in your relationship. Do you think that he would eventually consider marriage to you? Check around the boards. I have never been married but there are many here with horror stories about being married to a JW when they are not one.

blondie

I grew up in a family where dad was not a JW and mom was; what hell on earth that was. I married a non-JW but I was not a committed JW. My advice, stay away from any committed JWs; they will expect you to become one and/or their family will. It will not be worth it.

Blondie

nvrgnbk

R.F. makes some excellent points.

I'm sure your friend is a great guy. But his devotion to the religion is suspect if he has entered into a relationship with you. That could be a good thing. Just one problem. He could have a sudden change of heart after you get married, and decide to get into the religion hard-core. Then problems will arise.

I would, instead of walking away from someone you obviously care for a great deal, have a very sincere conversation with him about his beliefs. Who knows? You, being in a position close to his heart, may be able to reason with him.

Best wishes!

Nvr

Highlander

Sure seems to be a lot of non-jdubs dating active jdubs.

His # 1 priority will be the jehovah's witness organization. As my wife tells me,, she loves jehovah more than she loves me.

You will always play second fiddle to the jw corporation.

What if you have kids? will you object to your husband raising them as jw's? If they need a blood transfusion,, will you allow your husband to withhold live saving medical treatment?

If your kids grow to be hardcore jws, they may shun you as an unbeliever.

At the very least they wouldn't be as close to you as to their jw dad.

You will also be under pressure from your husband to become a jw as he will be under pressure to convert you.

I'm married to a j-dub, however I no longer believe in this cult. My marriage is a battle and I think I will ultimately lose my wife because of her beliefs.

Run like hell from this relationship. An old friend of mine(you know who you are ) told me to reconsider my marriage,, I wish I had listened.

helncon

I married a non-JW too though me not being very comitted to it all. My mum tried to convert him and he came to a few meetings and memorials, but that didn't last.

Honestly i would say RUN!!! As much you may be in love with him you will have nothing but heartache and be torn into 2.

With the decisions of birthdays christmas and all the other holidays it may be fine not for you to worry about them but what happens when you have children will you subject to them missing out on all the activites and all the other ones like giving up extra sporting games association with friends them having to go to the meetings being a subjecive partner.

There is a lot to consider don't make a light decision.

Helen

DJK

My dad became a Jehovah Jumpbug two years after he married my mother. She never liked it. He made her go to meetings many times and our family traveled for conventions every year. Mom always had to go to the conventions. She was a slave to him. There was never any affection in our home even between my parents. When my mom died, my dad never grieved.

I have to agree with other posters, if he is commited, you should get out.

nvrgnbk

As my wife tells me,, she loves jehovah more than she loves me.

As would any good JW wife or husband.

Highlander

As my wife tells me,, she loves jehovah more than she loves me.
As would any good JW wife or husband.

That reminds me. My own mother told me that same bulsh$t statement about 2 months ago. The conversation went something like this: Mom says: I want you to know I love you, but I love jehovah more. You are an apostate, so I have to limit my association with you, to that of important family business. I asked her to define family business and her response was that if somebody dies, then she will contact me to let me know what has happened.

nvrgnbk

Mom says: I want you to know I love you, but I love jehovah more. You are an apostate, so I have to limit my association with you, to that of important family business. I asked her to define family business and her response was that if somebody dies, then she will contact me to let me know what has happened.

Ask her if she'll allow you to care for her if she becomes an invalid, or is that privilege reserved for Witnesses in-good-standing only?

Back to the topic - I am in love with a JW

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