What was your first post? (page 2)

Hi...new here, not sure if this was the most appropriate thread to jump headfirst into or not, but here I am, causeI feel like I have to start somewhere. First off, a little about myself. I grew up with an organization very similar to JW's, called the Worldwide Church of God. (Info about this group can be found on rickross.com, a very good informative site on cults and near-cults) I bought into most of their crap, but always had questions that they were not able to answer, things like if creationism is true then why can't the ministers explain dinosaur fossils; of that nature. To make a long story short, I was excommunicated, disfellowshipped, or whatever one wishes to call it when I was 13...I was an "evil influence" on the other youth. I am all too familiar with the familial problems that come of choosing religion over blood (no pun on transfusion). My family is still divided to this day, and I am now 33. The terms "worldly" and a few others bring back memories, and not fond ones. I was raised to believe that all other religions are wrong, and it was difficult for me at 13, thinking I was going to hell...I managed to overcome this bias and seek out some teachings of other religions, but none of them appealed to me, or else reminded me so much of the one I had been forced out of that I was repulsed. By the time I was 16, I was what I call a 'devout atheist'. Meaning wild horses would be needed to compell me to go near ANY church, for ANY reason. So much so that even when I got married, it was by a justice of the peace at a park a few blocks from the courthouse.

Which brings me to why I'm here. My wife knew all of this, of course-she could hardly not know, seeing as we didn't have what most would think a 'normal wedding'. Up until recently, she was more or less a non-practicing Christian. Meaning she believed in god, etc, but didn't really go to church except maybe a couple times a year on holidays, with family, etc. Now though, everything is changing. JW's began coming to our door, and at first we joked about it together, she saying she wished they'd just go away, me saying she had to be more firm and just tell them to get lost. She would describe turning off the tv and sitting very still while they knocked over and over on the door. My wife is a very kind hearted person though, and perhaps lacking in ummm whats the word... not aggressiveness....assertiveness, yes, that's it. Eventually she began letting them in, talking to them, etc. Now she is going to meetings on Mon and Wed nights, as well as services on Sun.

I wasn't quite sure how to take all this, at first I suppose for lack of a better response, I was somewhat amused. Almost in the way a scared person will let loose a bit of nervous laughter, I found it sort of funny. Her family (my inlaws) took a much dimmer view of it. A view I am beginning to share, the more I find out about JW's. I only just found this place today while Googling for some sites, and found out about the blood transfusion thing from here. I was not aware of that...hell, I'm not even sure my wife is aware of THAT part. At least we are both A+, if worse ever comes to worst I will look up how to do it and give her blood myself if she gets that far into it.

This has been going on for...oh, 7-8 months I guess, I remember for sure her telling her mother about it when we drove up there for the christmas holiday, so it started sometime in Nov or Dec I guess. Even in that short amount of time though, I see changes...changes in attitude, changes in priority...and they worry me. I read a lot, and I once read something by Kurt Vonnegut where the main character says his only salvation was his wife, they were like a nation of only 2. I used to think of us in this way...used to. We went through so much sh_t when we were only dating as an interracial couple, I thought sure that now that we were married NOTHING could ever come between us. But already she has begun getting annoyed with me if I say something contrary to, or negative in regard to, the JW organization. She was telling me about one of the meetings one day, and mentioned someone referred to as 'the overseer'. I made a joke about his title, and she was upset about it...it lead to something that was somewhere short of an arguement, but not a happy situation, either. Ummm...*blush*...on a more personal level, now she tells me that oral sex is no longer allowed between us, because the JW's say so. That scares me. I don't like the idea of them telling her what is right and wrong between us...that should be, well, between US. It makes me wonder what they might tell her next...especially after reading some of the posts on this board...will the next thing be that she must leave me, a 'nonbeliever'?

Worst of all I think...is that we used to tell each other everything...there was nothing I would hide from my wife, I would tell her the dirty jokes the other guys at work told that day, or anything...no secrets. Yet here I am, with one ear cocked to make sure she is still downstairs in the kitchen, because I don't want her to catch me writing this. I haven't made up my mind what to do yet...but I somehow instinctively know that now is too soon...I must be fully prepared when I get ready to sit down and confront/discuss this with her...I'm not even sure what I am doing here, other than ranting to let off steam...perhaps seeking advice? I dunno...I've mostly seen advice to others on here given as "RUNNNNNNNN!!", and I definitely am not ready to give up. Meh...well, anyway, thanks for reading and letting me rant.

What was your first post?

Sad emo

Pubsinger

Pubsinger

Sad emo

Pubsinger

AllAlongTheWatchtower

Share this