Why are you so determined to return to the JWs? If it is because you want to have a spiritual life there are many other non cultic religions which can help you with that. The JW ideas that they are right in terms of ideology and behaviour and everyone else is wrong or that there will soon be an end and one can only be saved by being with them are nothing but propaganda to draw in members.
disfellowshipping procedure
by Hangin_on 20 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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Gregor
I just feel like I'm being jerked around
Bingo
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sammielee24
the forbidding of sex before marriage is responsible for most Witness divorces
While I wouldn't go so far as to agree with that statement, I absolutely believe that the WTBTS, in it's strict adherence to abstinence combined with a social retardation of it's younger members, does lead many to get married too young. When a young person is not allowed to socialize with other young people, when they are taught to see all other people, ideas, involvement as bad; when they are taught that to date means to marry and to kiss or hold hands means sex, well - often you have a recipe for disaster on many fronts, including the necessary experience to cope with losses when they do arise.
Talk to the many JW's that rushed to get married just prior to the 75 World is Ending years and find out how many did the deed out of a belief that the end was imminent and they must do it now. Find out how many of those did it for the sexual experience; how many grabbed the first brother or sister at hand, fully believing that if it didn't work out that it wouldn't matter anyway. How many got married and then got trapped when they realized that relationships were complex. Ending a marriage for anyone is devastating and gruelling, but in the Society, most members would rather you remain miserable and loyal to the org or ( as I've been told) kill yourself and save everyone else the grief and shame, including yourself.
I do know that on the JW org website, there is a phone number and a fax number where the public media can ask questions. Its under the disfellowshipping section. Perhaps you might want to call and ask them what scripture they use to back up the reinstatement process and exactly why you are being jerked around? Technically speaking, as a member of the general public, you can write an article to your newspaper around the process and it's Christian legitimacy, thereby, making you a member of the public media. sammieswife.
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garybuss
Disfellowshipped is the best status.
If I am disfellowshipped, I can sleep in Saturday mornings, I can go to meetings . . . . or not, I can pick up literature if I want, I can smoke cigars or even have sex with a buffalo if I want, I can talk to anybody I want and no Witness can talk to me. It's the perfect status if you ask me. -
Pistoff
The policy is an illustration of how completely irrational the WT is.
It is an unwritten rule that if it is perceived that you left your wife for another witness, rather than being "weak" and involved in an affair with no intention of divorcing, you will be OUT for 5 years, no exceptions.
Sorry to break it to you.
I heard it myself in an EMS school in the mid 90's.
The reality is that unless you are a very good liar, they will give you the shaft every time.
Those who know how to work the system will never be df'd; they lie about their actions, their feelings and their intentions.
FYI. -
B_Deserter
When a couple does get married in the church, a lot of them never try to make their marriages work because there is no incentive. Why try to please your wife when she can't divorce you without being shunned by everyone she's ever known?
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Lady Liberty
Dear Hangin_On,
WELCOME TO THE FORUM!! We are glad you posted. Your situation can be summed up in one word...CONTROL! My best friends daughter got pregnant out of wedlock and for 2 years desperately tried to get reinstated. It was horrible how they jerked her around. Here she was pregnant, single, working full time, driving many miles to and from work each day, then to hurry change and turn around and head back the other way to go to EVERY meeting! It continued and continued and even with a tiny newborn baby she would get herself there. Finally at one of the last meetings with the elders that she requested, she asked what else can I do..one elder said in a cocky attitude.."were not going to tell you, you would just go and do it!!" Ahhh HELLO??!! Oh just recalling how she was treated makes my blood boil again!! Sorry.. There is so many other times when she would request a meeting with them..and the would just say..oh your doing good just keep it up..and NOTHING..That is why the last meeting was it for her. It was all about CONTROL! It is like they are trying to prevent Jesus sacrafice from covering your sin. All of us sin including them. But who sdo they think they are that they can jump in between you and that sacrafice and stop or delay Jesus from forgiving you (us)? I would seriously take the time to xamine the organization before putting yourself through any more agony in trying to return. I invite you to read my personal story. My husband and I were raised in the organizatoion and had been extreemly involved, but we had serious questions that the elders could not answer. The more I researched the organization, the more I was shoked with what I found. Here is our story. http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/109978/1.ashx
Here are just SOME of the things I discovered..(list)
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/10/122192/1.ashx
Sincerely,
Lady Liberty
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Mum
Hello, Hangin. Welcome to the forum.
If you really want to be reinstated, maybe you and your present wife could move to a different congregation where the elders don't have a grudge against you. It sounds as if you have given them too much power over you, and they are reveling in it. So, first, take back the power. Put them on the defensive as to why they are so unconcerned about your eternal life when they are supposed to be all about "love" and "forgiveness."
I know it doesn't matter what I think, but I'm going to tell you anyway: None of this has anything to do with God, God's grace, mercy, or love. You've most likely come up against a bunch of frustrated, judgmental losers who can't make it on the outside but can be big shots in the organization. It is very decent of you not to report your former wife's living arrangements and/or activities.
Let them go for now if they won't talk to you. If they wanted to DF you, they would hunt you down like a dog and hound you to the limits of your patience. Give yourself peace and forgiveness. You are just as important in the eyes of God as they are.
Regards,
SandraC
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reneeisorym
When a couple does get married in the church, a lot of them never try to make their marriages work because there is no incentive. Why try to please your wife when she can't divorce you without being shunned by everyone she's ever known?
>>> wow .. I have actually never thought about that. You are so right. -
Hangin_on
I don't know what to think.. its like a game. I have people telling my mother that I should sit in the main auditorium but to make sure we arent all over each other because it will look bad.
My mother doesnt want me to tell my worldly family that I am Dfed and explain everything to them.
People have also told my mother that I should go to a different hall and then we would get reinstated.
one elder commented to a friend of mine that we will never get reinstated in this congregation
another one said it will be 10 yrs before we are reinstated.
It seems like no matter what I say in the elders meeting they think that I planned to do this and they bring up things that happened 5 yrs ago.
I just don't understand why they won't reinstate people that want to worship god and have proven themselves and have made a mistake. they would rather ram the bible down someones throat that doesnt want it.
Its amazing that I cant be reinstated because enough time hasnt gone by. I know someone that wanted to be a publisher.... they said yes, if his girlfriend moves out. so he banged her all night until 8 am then she moved out and the next day he became a publisher and went out in service.