Are we in love with our own pain?

by nvrgnbk 36 Replies latest jw friends

  • nvrgnbk
    nvrgnbk

    I've been doing alot of introspection lately, and I've been wondering this about myself.

    What has been your experience?

    Do we carry our pain around for so long that it becomes a companion, a part of our self-identity?

    Though we know it will benefit us to let it go, do we hold on to it, not wanting to lose an old friend, an integral part of ourselves?

  • bigdreaux
    bigdreaux

    my pain is linked to my personality as long as my family is a member of this cult. i cannot leave my pain behind until they laeve.

  • nvrgnbk
    nvrgnbk
    my pain is linked to my personality as long as my family is a member of this cult. i cannot leave my pain behind until they laeve.

    I respect that immensely bigdreaux.

    Good luck with that loved one's exit!

  • OUTLAW
    OUTLAW

    I`m not a big fan of pain but I can take alot..Yesterday one half of my ranch gate tore itself of the post and twisted up all the hardware..That one piece is over 200lbs..By the time I finished putting it back up..My head was bleeding,my hand was bleeding on the other my knuckle got smashed,my arms were scratched up..A hard job for 1 man.....I would rather deal with that,than what the WBT$ has put me through...OUTLAW

  • nvrgnbk
    nvrgnbk
    ..A hard job for 1 man.....I would rather deal with that,than what the WBT$ has put me through...OUTLAW

    Any day bro!

  • Sparkplug
    Sparkplug

    In love with pain...naw. Work with it, work thru it, use it...get it out, work it out!

    Yeah baby!

  • restrangled
    restrangled

    Nvrgnbk...

    Though we know it will benefit us to let it go, do we hold on to it, not wanting to lose an old friend, an integral part of ourselves?

    In addition to your statement, I think we get very comfortable with it. It is also a way of thinking. My mom and dad were both very negative thinkers. Always looking at the worst possible scenario instead of thinking about positives.

    The JW's actually are quite a negative bunch, despite what they say otherwise.

    My MIL on the other hand is a very positive thinker. She has had many hardships in her life, but always seems to be cheerful. My husband was cut from that same cloth. My MIL use to say to me, "It's a waste of your physic energy!" She traveled the world for years, performed in string quartets, taught school and got her Masters degree in her 50's! Raised 4 children by herself, managed to pay for her own home and never received a dime of child support or alimony, all the while disabled from a stint of Polio in her younger married years. Just now in her 80's she is slowing down a bit, but still at home by herself.

    So I really do believe her about physic energy being wasted on pain and negativity.

    Just a thought.

    r.

  • nvrgnbk
    nvrgnbk

    Thanks r!

    Great post!

    Your MIL sounds like a very special person.

    My JW parents are two of the most negative people I know.

    It is a constant struggle to change those thinking patterns.

    Regards to you and the hubby.

    Nvr

  • poppers
    poppers

    Pain is one thing because it's immediate. Suffering, however, is the past intruding on present circumstances. Suffering is one way that people keep in place the image of who they THINK they are. See through the illusion of what you think yourself to be and suffering dissolves. However, the prospect of dropping one's personal identity for the truth of one's being is a scary proposition, so most will hang on to what is familiar even if it involves suffering. So there IS a sort of love relationshiip with it because it helps provide an identity.

  • blondie

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