she left me today......

theinfamousone

i went out to see my sister and my mom... when i got back she said she was leaving... when i asked why, she said she was weirded out by my lack of trust.... i couldnt trust her,, so i hid things... its not her fault, its not like i was lying or anything, but i mean some shit, i just didnt tell her... i am so used to being called names, lectured and torn apart for being 100% honest, that now, i still am scared to let anyone completely in... now the best thing that ever happened to me is gone... she left and im not sure shes ever coming back... and iom not sure who to blame.. i mean its obviously my fault, but did the borg put a fear of trusting into my heart and soul? i guess i cant blame anyone but myself... but at this point, im so torn and hurt that im not sure what to do... all i know is that what was finally having the semblance of family to me is now gone... the first time i was able to live with someone and love someone, albeiut with an ingrained sense of distrust, has disappeared, probably never to return....

this has broken me, i don't know what i will be doing with myself for the next couple of days... i feel almost dead inside..

the infamous one

nvrgnbk

Brother.

Take a deep breath.

Do you have anyone up there to talk to?

If not, pm me and we can talk.

It's not the end.

We are here for you.

Don't come to any rash conclusions about yourself, or your friend, or your relationship, or anything.

Nvr

theinfamousone

no rash conclusions, i will be ok... just right now... god, i dont even know where im going to sleep, my bed is not mine alone, i mean it was hers as well, sleeping alone is going to be so harrd... the worst part is, she was bawling about how mmuch she loved me and wanted to stay, and i wanted her to, but she couldnt with the pressure she felt... she felt left out in the cold on some things... oh god... im lonely already!

the infamous one

nvrgnbk

Can you call her in a little while?

She may need some time and space to think, but do you think she's open to talking about it later?

BizzyBee

Infamous:

You will get through this - I promise. You will even look back someday and think that it was for the best. I guarantee.

In the meantime, you will hurt. And for that, I am sorry.

BB

DJK

Been there myself and I know how you feel. You seem to know what some of the problems were/are. I suggest working these issues out with yourself and or with a counselor if they are serious enough to drive people away. I dont know what to say about your friend. For now give her the space she needs, maybe she'll come back.

Crumpet

If she still loves you she will be back. Give her a little space and time and try to think about what it is that you can do to work on your trust issues. I know exactly where you are coming from. My lack of trust of others I discovered is because I do not trust myself. Maybe you can work from this as a base. Try not to torture yourself too much in the meantime about when she is coming back and how much you miss her. Sometimes writing it down can help. Write her a letter which is as much for you as her. And talk about why you feel the way you do and what you plan to do to change that if it is negatively impacting your relationship.

I wish I could give you a hug - I know how dreadful it feels to be in that place. But it does get better and it will.

ninja

mate I dont know if this is good advice...but its what I would do...I would look as if everything was fine with me and I was getting on with things...and I didn't need her at all...at least it would throw her off balance....and make her think twice.....maybe you need to work A WEE BIT on your trust issues mate....when you're hiding things from her it don't sound good tbh..as I say it might be totally wrong ..but I am saying it as I read it.........

nvrgnbk

when you're hiding things from her it don't sound good tbh.

To borrow ninja's words, do you mean you've been lying, perhaps trying to protect her or yourself?

Es

So sorry this has happened. I hope you guys can work it out and be together.

es

she left me today......

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