Fader's update on the wife.

by OnTheWayOut 24 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  changeling

  otwo: You've played your hand well and it's paying off. I think you're going to make it!!!
• 

  OnTheWayOut

  Thanks for the encouragement, everyone.

  The wife does have a slight social network outside of the JW's.
  (slight, but more than most active JW's have)
  I have encouraged that, and also, I have done more with my
  coworkers and include the wife, when possible.

  She is a social JW. She is sure they are right about major teachings
  and enjoys the social activity with other JW's, so she never looks at
  the doctrines. What is bizarre is that these "friends" would drop her
  quick if she faded. I think she will realize that more and more as I fade.

  I think that rather than a wall crashing down, she is one of those that
  just lets her life become filled with other things which causes the WT
  hold on her brain to stay, but get less significant.

  If I never get her out, I will never totally settle for that. I will always
  continue to try to break through to her. Thanks again for responding.
• 

  unique1

  That is exactly how I started. Missing a few here and then. Mothers and Fathers day were also the first ones I let my hubby celebrate because I realized there was no pagan link to them. Good luck. I say give it another year or two and she will be on here as well.
• 

  AK - Jeff

  OTWO - It seems as if your fade is having an effect. Your wife is late or missing in action from some meetings - that could be a sign that she is uncomfortable there. I don't know her - but perhaps she will 'break the ice' someday in the future with some honest interreaction as to your motives in leaving. They may mirror hers - she just hasn't got the guts to join you yet.

  Keep up the good work - and the updates are certainly helpful to others in the same situation.

  Jeff
• 

  OnTheWayOut

  Thanks Jeff.

  I don't know how much is from me and how much was developed on her own, but I suspect that
  much of her personal feelings are her own.
  
  She feels that education is important. You need to support yourself. She feels that retirement
  planning, while not obsessive, is important. You can't just say the new system will arrive before
  you need to worry.

  She meets with coworkers and former fellow students for lunch or dinner. She had a celebration
  party when she got her degree. Very anti-JW thinking.

  She questions things she hears in the news (gets that from me) and is very critical of just
  accepting information. I have started her doing this with JW information, but it's slow. I pick on
  little things like "jeans after hours" at the DC. If I stay with little things, it seems to work. Pick up
  the pace and she shuts down. It has never been me that encouraged skipping meetings- always
  her saying that she "had to" do something else.