Caught Wife Cheating (page 7)

FreeWilly

Been there done that.

The only question now is how long do you want the bleeding to continue?

delilah

What boggles me is how she can talk about "the truth" and go to all her meetings and be so visciously defensive about "the organization" yet blatantly disobey the rules of said organization...

Yup...my sister-in-law did this to my brother, with his best friend, who is an elder....my brother divorced her, because she thought she and this elder were going to hook up....hahaha....he denied everything, and she left town, and eventually married another "brother", cough...

Neither of them have been caught yet....makes me sick...

You must have time to sort out your feelings, and make the decision that is best for you. I wish you luck....and I'm so sorry this has happened to you.

FreedomFrog

Sheesh! It ain't that difficult. Other people do it - who are NOT JWs... you can too. Probably a mistake that you are making - and causing you to fret so, is your calling it... 'starting over'. You aren't starting over - you're moving on.

Jim_TX, I like the way you put it, not "starting over" but it's "moving on"...though I have to disagree with you about it being easy. It's hard as hell. If rofl is like me, 2 years or 20 years would be just as crushing as ever. The difference in the 2 year time line is that the rofl hasn't invested so much in his wife...but that doesn't change the fact that it's as if a two edge sword rips through your heart.

In a person's mind you feel safe and comfortable with your spouse. When coming out of the cult, you even feel that they are the only ones you can trust with your life...then this happens...you tend to lose all trust in people period.

As for needing a 'support group'... you can start working on that one... there are many people out there that are more than willing to help. The JWs call them 'worldly'... but they're the best people you will ever meet.

Again, I agree that he can start building one up...but by the time you finally get close enough to friends to have support you're not needing one. It takes time to develop friends that you can cry your eyes out on. Think about it, if you just met a person and they were in a wreck for most of their days (which happens during a divorce) you'd stay away from them...it's only natural. So support with this isn't easy to come by but you learn to trust yourself and be your own support.

FreeWilly made a good point..."how long do you want the bleeding to continue?"

I am not one that likes to see marriages end...I hate them...but at the same time I've been through things that I hate even more to see suffering souls because they are either too forgiving or too fearful and are "bleeding" out their souls for a person that really doesn't deserve it.

It comes down to whether or not you can ever trust her again rofl...if you feel you can't and are only staying in for support then I'd say move on(as Jim_TX stated). Trust yourself rofl...trust what your rational thinking is telling you. If you use your heart in this matter it can only lead to more heartaches.

changeling

I'm sooo sorry. But you are young, you have your whole life ahead of you. Get out there and live it on your terms.

Oh, and listen to Scully about no sex with your wife. In Jdub world that means you forgave her.

JK666

(((((((((((((((((((Roflcopter))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I went through a situation like yours, I know that the pain seems unbearable! Let me share my story with you so that you do not make some of the same mistakes as I did.

I married young to another JW girl in my congregation. Five years into the marriage, I found out that she had an affair with a friend of mine from another congregation. I ended up forgiving her, as she told me it was a fling and that it wouldn't happen again. I warned her that if it ever did, I would divorce her. I also decided not to take her to the BOE.

Two years later, I found out about another affair with a worldly co-worker. She again apologized. This time I called in the Elders. While this was going on, she confessed that while we were on vacation visiting her family, she also had sex with her cousin's boyfriend (I suspect a menage, though never proven). She cried the crocodile tears, and seemed real contrite about wanting to stay married. But she wouldn't change jobs, and still wanted to meet with the guy she worked with to talk.

The elders publicly reproved her, and STRONGLY encouraged me to take her back. She moved out while I thought about what to do. I asked that she break off association with her cousin and her boyfriend, but she told me that I could not her what to do. I said "You're right, I can't; But I sure as hell can divorce your ass!"

During the time of her JC and my deciding to divorce her, unbeknownst to me, she got pregnant from a different guy at work. If I would have taken her back, I would not have known the baby wasn't mine until she was born (interracial relationship).

End of story. It hurt like hell, but in time I was able to move on. This happened 20 years ago, but there is nothing new under the sun. My advice: RUN LIKE YOUR ASS IS ON FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JK

(P.S. She didn't get DF'd for getting knocked up either, never count on justice in the Borg!)

FreedomFrog

People who cheat, especially in a calculated way should have a strong punishment...I know that we all make mistakes but calculating a relationship outside a marriage damages the other party severely. So why should the innocent party go on "punished" while the assaulting party gets off free.

JK666, your story angers me with not only your ex-wife(?) I sure hope an ex now...but also with the borg. So much injustice.

I know of a Dub friend (still a Dub I believe) done the cheating. She calculated it and ended up getting pregnant. Her husband found out and threw her out. She was only reproved but they still got a divorce. She started claiming that her 2 year old was molested by him and that was the reason she "lost" it and had the affair. The "truth" came out after her ex ended up taking his life and an investgation went on...guess what, she got off free and still concidered a "strong" witness.

So calculating cheaters I have no sympathy for and shouldn't go unpunished.

I agree with JK....run like mad...she obviously isn't wanting to change and go with what you've asked about quiting her job.

Hang in there rofl, it hurts like hell but it will only tear you appart worse if it was to happen again years later.

Black Soul

Men cheat for pleasure women either revenge/read slap in the face or they feel neglected. And to me this sounds like a slap in the face. Just get out of there man. There are plenty of good women in this world, why would you even want to be with one who only dreams about the "other world" didn't you have enough of other worldly experiences already?

Junction-Guy

Her message is loud and clear to you, she disrespects you by not honoring your wishes to leave that job. She is not the least bit sorry she cheated, she is only sorry she was caught. Run like the wind.

To slimboyfat, she needs to be disfellowshipped. She is an adulterer, NOT a cigarette smoker, NOT a christmas celebrator, she DIDN'T join the military, she DIDN't celebrate her birthday. She violated her husbands trust, and sinned (one of the few biblical sins that the bible approves disfellowshipping for).

Caught Wife Cheating

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