by restrangled 29 Replies latest jw friends
I commented on this on a thread a few months ago. I really fought for fairness in my 7 years as an elder. In fact, I had a reputation for being too liberal.
Having said that, I know all too well what minimus had commented on regarding drew sagan's situation, that one "fair" elder up against two assholes will always be shot down. I would recommend that NO ONE ON HERE EVER FACE A JUDICIAL COMMITTEE. THEY ARE A JOKE. A SHAM. DO NOT MEET WITH THEM. DO NOT RETURN THEIR PHONE CALLS.
>>But I did shun people before and I feel horrible about that.
Interesting. I've seen several threads along this line before, directed to ex-elders, but almost all of us have shunned someone at some point. (I know many of you never did, putting humanity above obedience to the bOrg -- filthy sinners!) In the same way we went along with the order to shun, elders went along with the order to DF. I feel bad about those I shunned. (Though I wasn't quite as rabid about it as some JW's are. Still, shunning is shunning.)
Dave
I was microphone boy and I'm ashamed of handling my pole at the meetings.
I was an MS, but it really was nothing more than a title. I also think it can hardly be said that an MS is 'in charge' of anything but making sure where the toilet brush goes.
I too did a lot of microphones.
Who can rejoice knowing that people are affected by your every thoughts and actions? As an experienced elder I did not enjoy judging people . I began to realize that I clearly was no better than anyone else----and neither were my fellow elders.
I try to help people here regarding how to deal with elders and the rules that JWs accept.
Do I feel I should try to contact all the ones that I ever was in a JC meeting with? No. We ALL went by the assumption that we were doing the right thing, being theocratic, fulfilling our obligations. When we studied with persons and helped them get baptized, did we approach such ones to apologize? To those that had magazine routes, did we send a letter of apology, admitting our ignorance and errors? As Witnesses we had judgmental attitudes. We thought we were right and no doubt we harmed people by our ways. We all have learned that our attitudes and actions were quite often wrong. It's what we do about it now that counts most.
>>But I did shun people before and I feel horrible about that.Interesting. I've seen several threads along this line before, directed to ex-elders, but almost all of us have shunned someone at some point. (I know many of you never did, putting humanity above obedience to the bOrg -- filthy sinners!) In the same way we went along with the order to shun, elders went along with the order to DF. I feel bad about those I shunned. (Though I wasn't quite as rabid about it as some JW's are. Still, shunning is shunning.)
Dave
I agree with Dave and looking_glass on this one. Everyone plays a role of responsibility here. About the only ones that could be counted as truly "inncoent" here are maybe those that left the org by choice when they were still young.
j
Gary, you are one funny dude!
I did apologize to one of the yonger guys whose JC I was a part of. We really went after him. A girl spent the night in his bed, as he confessed, though he claimed no sex. We never believed him of course, nor would it have mattered, we could have DF'd him just for that, but still just gave public reproof. He was so scared. He ended up being one of the very few that did not shun me after my DA letter. Lived right next door. He was killed in a motorcycle accident soon after.
I was on many cases, but always tried to be fair. There was no need to apologize for any those cases. We could have and even should have DF'd on several, but still did not. The thing that I disliked about being on judicial committees was the fear you would see in the faces of those that came in. All of the people I was involved with were terrified. There was something not quite right about that from my perspective. Having been on many made my own JCM really just like a regular meeting. I was very relaxed and rather in control to a fair degree.
One of the best friends of my oldest step son was deeply upset with me for years for not allowing him to associate with my kids after he stopped going to meetings. He was very emotional and vocal to others about how what I did hurt him for many years. I finally saw this young guy (no longer a JW) in the grocery store with his girlfriend. I did stop him, embrace him and apologize many times there. We hugged again and he definitely appreciated my making things right. But like I told him, I did things the Society's way. Which is why I am no longer a part of that system today.
There are quite a few elders that are just plain bad guys. But not all are. I also knew of several that were very sincere. That cared, and did not like the power and limelight. Like most all of us were at one time, they are simply in the dark when it comes to seeing the entire JW picture. They are captives of the "One True Faith" Concept.
But there are plenty of bad brothers out there too. I would guess probably 70 percent or more are in it for the wrong reasons. Just bad guys, who enjoy the control, enjoy the power and get a kick out of watching the fear in the faces of these poor JW's ready for the tribunal.
I am so happy to be away from of all of that today.
in a foggy past life i was a MS.
I wonder how it strikes you when you read of those facing or have faced one of your tribunals?
gut wrenching, for sure. though, i should say, i see all jehovah's witnesses as victims. ALL. the most profane GB member to the most wronged child. it's the only way i can have any peace about it. i had to acept the victimhood of all involved in the tragic affair. all part of the larger dystopia of orthodox christianity ANYWAYS.
As X Men in charge, how do you feel reading the pain and panic here?
i feel for those in pain. but i am happy for them too. the fact that they are here on JWD, venting, saying and reading the things that are on here, is the germination of liberation from the tyranny. it's painful, but at least we are all out now, and helping others get out all the time. why do you think some are addicted to JWD? ~guilt~ (sad, but true, in my case too!)
well, sorry, but no more fear or guilt for me. if i was an ambitious pioneer and "brought someone into the truth", then it was his fault for being a sucka. i mean, damn, i was a sucka too.
tetra
i feel for those in pain. but i am happy for them too. the fact that they are here on JWD, venting, saying and reading the things that are on here, is the germination of liberation from the tyranny. it's painful, but at least we are all out now, and helping others get out all the time. why do you think some are addicted to JWD? ~guilt~ (sad, but true, in my case too!)
Beautiful expressions tetra! Amen!
