Were you or someone you know sexually molested by a Jehovah's Witness ? (page 5)

flipper

Amfree, thanks. As if this elder thought paying out money could somehow ease the pain. Hush money they call it? First time I've heard of an individual doing this paying privately. Weird. Just reminds you of what the governing body is doing now trying to silence all these victims with money. And the jw's claim to be morally upright? Excuse me while I reach for my paper bag, I'm getting sick again. Thanks for keeping this subject alive folks, Mr. Flipper

flipper

Mr. Flipper here. Haven't shared my personal experience of my ex-wife of 19 years. Divorced 1998. She's still a witness. Didn't find out she had been molested as a girl until 18 years into the marriage. Her uncles molested her at age 12 . Her grandfather ,their dad was an elder, knew nothing about it. When she confronted her stepmother about her brothers years later, her mother just said," Oh well! Boys will be boys. What could I do about it, I was a young mother, didn't know what to do." Or didn't want to. When my ex had flashbacks in her late 30's of this she didn't want to be touched physically by me in any way. She thought sex was dirty. I tried to get her to counseling and even the elders recommended she do that, but she had so much anger and blame about it, that she blamed everyone from her stepmom to her familiy and even me for wanting to have normal intimacies. Needless to say it damaged the marriage and we ended up getting divorced. She was an angry human being to live with. Couldn't deal with it. We both tried. In short if you are a couple and ones mate has been abused it can affect your sex life unless help is summoned for. So as a tip to others,get counseling to deal with this. "Professional counselers, not the elders, as the elders are not trained to handle molestation victims. But in time I met Mrs. Flipper, so all is cool now. The ex-wife married somebody who didn't like sex either, alledgedly. They're happy, I think, who knows I wish em' both well.

Lady Lee

Mr Flipper I know your situation is past but living with a victim of abuse can be hell on the spouse. I was the victim and I know I put him through hell

For those who are in a relationship with a sexual abuse victim (I'm using this word purposely) there are some really great books to help you understand a bit of what is going on.

PARTNERS & RELATIONSHIPS

Adult Children As Husbands, Wives, And Lovers: By Steven Farmer
Allies In Healing By Laura Davis
Families In Recovery By Beverly Engel
Ghosts In The Bedroom By Ken Graber
Outgrowing The Pain Together Eliana Gil
Partners In Recovery By Beverly Engel

taken from http://lee_hardiman.tripod.com/booklist.html

flipper

Thanks Lady Lee for posting those books so people can see the seriousness of dealing with abuse ghosts tendencies and getting help for it. Thanks for the kind words about what I went through. Peace, Mr. Flipper

wozadummy

Certainly reading others advice and experiences can be beneficial.

My wife molested in and out of the JW's

Me, outside but it helped me understand her issues and surprisingly what happened to her and talking about it has helped heal me too.

We really have compassion for those partners who have had not been molested and later confront this when revealed within the relationship ,it must be hard to fathom.

flipper

Wuzadummy- Thanks for your response. As one who's ex-wife was molested, I empathize with you. Fotunately the woman I'm married to now had a healthy childhood. For those who have suffered trhough sexual abuse, our sympathy and hope you get the help you need. Peace to you all, Mr. Flipper

flipper

Just wanted to bump this thread up to show what experiences victims of child abuse have gone through . Was searching through my archives - thought it might be helpful to new ones on the board here. Take care, Peace out, Mr. Flipper

White Dove

My mom and her two sisters were sexually molested by their adoptive father. They are more messed up than you could imagine. None have ever had a healthy relationship with their hubbies, X's, and so on. There was incest involved with one of the sisters and their brother. The whole family was JW's.

flipper

WHITE DOVE- I'm so sorry that happened to your mom and two sisters. That's awful ! It really does affect relationships with the opposite sex later thus the need for professional therapy so a person can learn to trust again. I know having been married to a child abuse victim years ago- if the victim doesn't receive help - a marriage can be hell on wheels

MarisaKristofiak

nope. never knew any.

i know of a catholic who was, but jeez its much bigger...

Were you or someone you know sexually molested by a Jehovah's Witness ?

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