Humourous DA letter

besty

Right- we've been thinking about this..

It seems that most DA letters are: doctrinal, personal, emotional or or major issues such UN etc

and completely understandably so..but..

is it possible that there could be an element of dark humour introduced to make the reader get past the first sentence. For example:

Dear <Brother>

You have no doubt recently heard the saddest announcement that I am no longer known as a JW. So as to avoid the gossip and speculation that sometimes accompanies such, I have decided to let you know personally the reasons why.

1 - I have been swimming in the otherwise normal H20 at the YMCA

2 - I inadvertently shared a Big Mac with someone likewise disapproved

and finally

3 - I persuaded 25000 ex-Witnesses to donate blood so one of the hemophiliac Brothers could have the appropriate fraction

Please forgive my weak and rubbish attitude

best regards

Bro Pants

any thoughts on whether this could be a new tactic? or suggestions for humorous letter...

besty?

jgnat

I think it is a GREAT idea. Let's see if I can come up with more.

I am formally tendering my resignation from the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society due to irreconcilable diarrhea.

bigdreaux

sorry dear brothers, but, i have officially pulled my head out of my ass. tah tah.

jgnat

My mother in law has sadly informed me that she would not associate with me any longer unless I come back to Jehovah. I can't pass up this opportunity, so I'm formally handing in my disassociation. So long, Martha.

jgnat

My feet hurt. Goodbye.

Hortensia

Dear Brothers

I am no longer a JW because the apostle Paul spoke to me in a dream and told me that Jesus and Jehovah are just jealous of him and that he is the real ruler of the universe. So, I am looking for the true religion, Paul's Witnesses.

Jgnat and Bigdreaux- you made me laugh so hard I almost fell off my chair!

rebel8

I was disposing of some old light literature in my bbq when it screamed. Just to be sure, I called on Jehovah's name and the screaming demons trembled. Apparently it is the wt literature--not Ouija, Girl Scout cookies, and Eagles music--that is demonized. Therefore, Brother Beelzebub, I am tendering my resignation forthwith.

Quandry

My mother in law has sadly informed me that she would not associate with me any longer unless I come back to Jehovah. I can't pass up this opportunity, so I'm formally handing in my disassociation. So long, Martha. That is soooo funny. Who couldn't appreciate this kind of humor? Even stuffy elders would have to laugh at this!!!

misanthropic

My mother in law has sadly informed me that she would not associate with me any longer unless I come back to Jehovah. I can't pass up this opportunity, so I'm formally handing in my disassociation. So long,

Martha.

lol, that's ingenious jgnat!! Wish I'd thought of that one!

Swan

I recently had a discussion with a householder in the field service who asked me several questions I could not answer. After returning home and doing some diligent research, I found contradictory statements in the Watchtower publications supporting his position. I must therefore renounce my beliefs in your religion so that I may seek the Truth elsewhere.

I know that this will be a subject of much gossip in the congregation in the weeks ahead. To set the record straight, even though the householder I met is a Smurf, his nationality has nothing to do with my leaving. Also, we never had sex under his Christmas tree; it was in front of his fireplace where his Christmas stockings were hanging. Additionally, his relationship with Smurfette had already ended when I called at his door.

Tammy

Humourous DA letter

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