ADVICE PLEASE. No lit for ex-JW - I have to put an ultimatum to my wife.

by jambon1 29 Replies latest jw friends

  • Mum
    Mum

    You're in a very precarious position. However, even I, a mere woman and never "head" of anyone, would insist that I have a stake in what my own children are being taught. Anything less would be child neglect, IMHO.

    The most important thing to remember is that your children need to feel secure and accepted by you. You need to keep a sense of humor and a lighthearted approach to countering the hate literature they may be forced to read or listen to being read. They will not remember details and facts as much as how they feel when they are around you. If you need to talk with a counselor about how to handle the situation, you will be well advised to do so. This is about the best interests of your children, not a power struggle between you and the WT (although the latter cannot entirely be ignored).

    Wishing you wisdom and advising caution,

    SandraC

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  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    Our WTCD disappeared.

    "I can't find our WTCD."

    "I lent it."

    "Can you get it back please?"

    "It is only for JWs."

    "I was born into this religion. I was force fed these books and magazines. I knocked on doors and sold them to anyone who would take them. Now you tell me I can't read them?"

    "Did these books and mags contain light from Jehovah?"

    "Yes."

    "What does the bible say about keeping your lamp under a bushel?"

    "I'll get it for you"

    "Thank you"

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  • Quandry
    Quandry

    You need to keep a sense of humor and a lighthearted approach to countering the hate literature they may be forced to read or listen to being read. They will not remember details and facts as much as how they feel when they are around you.

    This is the best advice. Anything else will throw your family into battle mode. The children will be the ones caught in the crossfire.

    As long as you are a good dad, and encourage them to get an education, help them with homework, read to them, and play sports/and encourage them to play or be involved with other activities to build self esteem, and spend time with them on the weekends, you will not be having problems. They will love you and want to be with you. So will your wife, for that matter, if you are good to her, and she will defend anyone who tries to tear her family apart.

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  • MinisterAmos
    MinisterAmos

    Well now! You DAMN sure better ask wifey for a copy of the May/June Ministry School rag and find out what she is planning for your kids. I'm still pissed about what freaks the JW are. The "teachings" frequently emulate the thought patterns of clinical sociopaths, little true regard for anyone but themselves and willing to use up anyone they can get their hooks into including children

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  • IP_SEC
    IP_SEC

    Ultimatum Shumultimatum You teach what you teach, she'll teach what she wants to teach. May the best dogma win.

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  • jambon1
    jambon1

    Thanks guys for the advice. I maybe came across a little wrongly. I have picked my JW battles quite well over the last year or so, and apart from the odd occasion, I have kept my cool. I just feel that if my wife decides that she will refuse me the magazine, then not only will it hurt me that my own wife would take such a stand, but I would effectively be denied any opportunity to monitor what they are teaching. Cheers. Yours, cautiously, J.

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  • jgnat
    jgnat
    You need to keep a sense of humor and a lighthearted approach to countering the hate literature they may be forced to read or listen to being read. They will not remember details and facts as much as how they feel when they are around you.

    Here's how I would respond. Some time in the new year let her know you've solved the problem of obtaining the "secret" WT's. You've found a source on the INTERNET. I don't think THIS is the time for an ultimatum.

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  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    I would simply tell the elders what you said here - ask them to provide you with a copy for the reasons you stated. [A stake in understanding your children's religious education.]

    Depending on the local elders [some are actually human], they may just send a copy home to you each month. Worth a try.

    Jeff

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  • Gill
    Gill

    It must be very difficult for you.

    Personally I would never allow my husband (not that he'd want to) take the kids to the meetings and i never allow them to spend time unsupervised with my JW parents. Not a problem with my husbands parents as they shun us and the kids.

    I suppose you have your work cut out trying to deprogram the kids when they get back but at least they're 'hearing both sides of the story from you.'

    Certainly the Kool Aid version of the Watchtower may well turn out to be a real worry for all of us with relatives still in the cult! You really will have to stand your ground on this!! Good Luck!

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  • Wordly Andre
    Wordly Andre

    that sounds kind of scary, what secrets are they keeping, I mean you can't get any more cult like then that, is it the secret Koolaide recipe?

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